Hey Fellas, Wanted to get your take. Every year we go down to SoCal to celebrate Thanksgiving with my family. This year, somethings happened with my wife's family where there's a crisis. 2 months ago one of her nephews was involved in a crime. He's in jail, may be in for while. For the last 2 months she's been visiting with my brother in law 3-4 times a week for support. So now a week before Thanksgiving she tells me, she and the kids want to stay here for Thanksgiving. I told her it's a bad idea. I see my side of the family once or twice a year. We spend year round with her family (parties, BBQ's, bdays, etc). Now we're cutting off thanksgiving too? By me saying no, I'm the asshole in the house. I may be going down south by myself. Am I wrong here?
You have obviously been getting run around. The fact that you have to ask this question on here tells me you are bad off. But we can help brother. Tell her "this is what I'm doing. You can come or stay here." Then do it. Start standing up for yourself. Fuck her.
You see, this is how fucked up some women are. She has made this guy feel like he is doing something wrong when it's clearly her. She needs a reality check.
You see, this is how fucked up some women are. She has made this guy feel like he is doing something wrong when it's clearly her. She needs a reality check.
it's a piss poor excuse too. Because her nephew is in jail, the family needs to rally together this year to support each other? Shit, nobody died! and furthermore it's her nephew. Not her son for fucksake. If she would've come to me maybe a month ago, I probably would've considered it. But don't tell me a week before the trip after arrangements and plans have been made. And since I'm a stepdad, I'm always on the losing end of these battles. Cause whatever mom says, our 3 girls see her word as gospel. Absolute horseshit. No offense to my latin brothers here on the board but I swear everything in their culture revolves around emotions. He'll I'm Filipino and I have a huge fucking family. But it's not like we're gonna rally around and light fucking candles from someone who committed a crime. The way I was raised we would've ostracized the fucker for shaming our family's name!
She's doing what she wants to do. So, it's only fair you do what you wanna do. Right? Right.
Some women will slowly change you to get what they want and before you know it they have changed you into someone they don't respect. So, you have to stand your ground on issues and be a man. They won't like the change, but before long they will start respecting you again.
Some women will slowly change you to get what they want and before you know it they have changed you into someone they don't respect. So, you have to stand your ground on issues and be a man. They won't like the change, but before long they will start respecting you again.
The "support" is an excuse to do what she wants. I would guess that she woud rather spend The Holidays with her family over yours. Where is her commitment to be with her husband and children as a family for The Hoidays? Go see your parents without her. If you go to her sisters you deserve all the misery she's probably been giving you.
Yea its a long sob story with them. The brother in law and his wife have been on the rocks, infidelity, abuse, and on and on. So since my wife is a counselor, they use her to talk about their issues and how their fucked up marriage led to the reason their son is in the place he's in now. You know a lot of self deprecation and such. It's like misery loves company type shit. So aside from the visits and talks and coffee's now they want to use Thanksgiving as a reason that all the families should come together as a show of support. It's bullshit if you ask me.
???? Go to her sister's? Yea right. I'm pissed that she chose their miserable family over mine. Now I have to explain to everyone when they ask, "Where's the wife and kids?" Maybe I should tell them the truth. "Well this year they have to ban together, because gangster thug nephew, "ALLEGEDLY" was involved in a drive by / murder one case and may get 25 to life." I think that's what I'll do.
???? Go to her sister's? Yea right. I'm pissed that she chose their miserable family over mine. Now I have to explain to everyone when they ask, "Where's the wife and kids?" Maybe I should tell them the truth. "Well this year they have to ban together, because gangster thug nephew, "ALLEGEDLY" was involved in a drive by / murder one case and may get 25 to life." I think that's what I'll do.
lol
Clearly she doesn't want to spend any time with your family. I would grant her wish and not force her to spend time with my family. As a matter of fact, I would extend my stay with my family. You can't turn that right around and explain that you are doing it for her.
I would take up a hobby and spend very little time with her family starting immediately and moving forward.
This can all be explained with you being a nice guy and giving her more time to "support" her family.
I would take up a hobby and spend very little time with her family starting immediately and moving forward.
This can all be explained with you being a nice guy and giving her more time to "support" her family.
I heartily agree w this post.
It took me a number of years to learn that Win Win is the only way to live.
IOW, I always do what I prefer to do.
The SheBar is likewise free to do what she prefers.
Most frequently she prefers to join me in whatever I am doing. But if not she is simply exercising her free choice.
And I always do what I prefer.
Compromise means one or both parties is not getting what they want. It is a lousy way to go about life
