How do I complain about something without coming off as a racist SOB?

GoBlue34 · Dec 1, 2014

I live in Nebraska, not exactly the most diverse place in the world. I coach my son's traveling 8th grade basketball team and we are all white. This past weekend we played an all black team, a really good one that we usually compete with but we lost by 20+.

We had an old crusty white guy as one of the refs and and 20 year old or so as the other ref. The parents of the other team are obnoxious and that is putting it nicely. I think by the end of the game we were called for 20 fouls and they were called for 3. It could/should have easily been the other way but a couple white refs are so afraid of hearing it from the other parents they simply don't call anything against them. Pushing, shoving, hand checking, etc. It was barely basketball at times. Let alone the 25+ traveling calls they didn't call with kids taking 4 steps. My top 2 players were in foul trouble and not sure they commited 2 fouls.

Not to sound like a sore loser but I brushed it off as BS and moved on. However 3 of my parents called the head honcho of our league and he's supposed to be calling me back to get a coaches input.

So how the hell do I say we didn't get any calls because we are white? Sounds ass-backwards. And plus I don't need the headache but if I simply say we didn't get any calls, it sounds like sour grapes and that's not even close to the whole story. Where is BeantownJim when I need him...

C.P. · Dec 1, 2014

I used to Coach as well....got fvckin' tried of all the bs...just let it go...you're fighting a LOSING BATTLE

jay6s · Dec 1, 2014

did anybody film the game? if there is any game footage you could send it to him and use it to validate your argument, there is usually one parent at least filming these games.

PatsFan1283 · Dec 1, 2014

This seems like it would make a great storyline for The League next season

Ricboff · Dec 1, 2014

good grief, and here I thought coaching hockey at hockey-mad Toronto was tough.....

wtf is going on south of the border?

I'd give a honest assessment of what i saw. Good luck and keep smiling............

GoBlue34 · Dec 1, 2014

We do have a parent that films Jay but I simply don't care enough to get too involved. Plus I don't want to be known as the white coach who thinks he got jobbed playing black team and have it get back to me.

slapshot · Dec 1, 2014

I thought you were complaining about the refs

jay6s · Dec 1, 2014

GoBlue34 said:
We do have a parent that films Jay but I simply don't care enough to get too involved. Plus I don't want to be known as the white coach who thinks he got jobbed playing black team and have it get back to me.

LOL you are right might as well just let it go

kidman232 · Dec 1, 2014

I would just be honest, you don't have to make it a race thing per say. Just state the other teams parents were rather vocal and seemed to intimidate the refs. I would have probably called a timeout and pointed out to the refs, the calls seem to be rather one side before the game got out of hand.

MikeB · Dec 1, 2014

kidman232 said:
I would just be honest, you don't have to make it a race thing per say. Just state the other teams parents were rather vocal and seemed to intimidate the refs.

This

It wouldn't be my call to say what the refs motivations were. You can say what was stated above and let him draw his own conclusions.

Ricboff · Dec 1, 2014

kidman232 said:
I would just be honest, you don't have to make it a race thing per say. Just state the other teams parents were rather vocal and seemed to intimidate the refs. I would have probably called a timeout and pointed out to the refs, the calls seem to be rather one side before the game got out of hand.

yup. Turning a blind eye does what again?

BradtheBloke · Dec 1, 2014

did you cover?

DNoonan · Dec 1, 2014

Kidman got it IMO....the refs where intimidated and may not have done their job, that seems like the bottom line/pertinent info

RoofTop · Dec 1, 2014

Should of broke out the white hood at halftime

GoBlue34 · Dec 1, 2014

Good info Kidman. I will go that route. Good suggestion too Roof, will have to think of that if we play them later in the season

VIEJODINOSAUR · Dec 1, 2014

Move to another district or start recruiting better.....

MikeB · Dec 1, 2014

BradtheBloke said:
did you cover?

Haha

JohnnyMac · Dec 1, 2014

It is 8th grade basketball. You job is to develope the skills of your players, not to win games. If you or your parents do not understand this distinction, you need to step back and re-evaluate your priorities.

Ricboff · Dec 1, 2014

JohnnyMac said:
It is 8th grade basketball. You job is to develope the skills of your players, not to win games. If you or your parents do not understand this distinction, you need to step back and re-evaluate your priorities.

hmm, where did you get 'winning' as GoBlue's top priority from his post?

NickPappagiorgio · Dec 1, 2014

This isnt a race thing, it just happens that the parents who were vocal and intimidating were black. If you want to get some action, tell the head honcho that you feel the refs were bullied into not calling fouls

How do I complain about something without coming off as a racist SOB?

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