Becoming Illegal (From a Maryland resident to his senator)
The Honorable Paul S. Sarbanes
Senate Office Building
309 Hart
Washington DC, 20510
Dear Senator Sarbanes,
As a native Marylander and excellent customer of the Internal Revenue
Service, I am writing to ask for your assistance. I have contacted the
Department of Homeland Security in an effort to determine the process
for becoming an illegal alien and they referred me to you.
My primary reason for wishing to change my status from U.S. Citizen to
illegal alien stems from the bill which was recently passed by the
Senate and for which you voted. If my understanding of this bill's
provisions is accurate, as an illegal alien who has been in the Unit ed
States for five years, all I need to do to become a citizen is to pay a
$2,000 fine and income taxes for three of the last five years.
I know a good deal when I see one and I am anxious to get the
process started before everyone figures it out.
Simply put, those of us who have been here legally have had to pay
taxes every year so I'm excited about the prospect of avoiding two
years of taxes in return for paying a $2,000 fine. Is there any way
that I can apply to be illegal retroactively? This would yield an
excellent result for me and my family because we paid heavy taxes
in 2004 and 2005.
Additionally, as an illegal alien I could begin using the local
emergency room as my primary health care provider. Once I have
stopped paying premiums for medical insurance, my accountant
figures I could save almost $10,000 a year. Another benefit in
gaining illegal status would be that my daughter would receive
preferential treatment relative to her law school applications,
as well as "in-state" tuition rates for many colleges throughout
the United States for my son.
Lastly, I understand that illegal status would relieve me of the
burden of renewing my driver's license and making those burdensome
car insurance premiums. This is very important to me given that I
still have college age children driving my car.
If you would provide me with an outline of the process to become
illegal (retroactively I f possible) and copies of the necessary forms,
I would be most appreciative. Thank you for your assistanc e.
Your Loyal Constituent,
Pete McGlaughlin
Get your Forms (NOW)!! Call your Internal Revenue
Service
1-800-289-1040. Please pass this onto your friends so they
can save on this great offer!!!!
Explain it to me once more: WHY do I have to "Press 1 for English"?