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Thread: CFB Off-Season News

  1. #451  
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    Smile...football coming soon.

    Texas
    A man is sitting at a park bench when another man sits next to him and they engage
    in conversation. Shortly after, the second man says, "So, I bet you're a Texas fan. The
    first man says enthusiastically, "Why yes I am. How did you know? My intelligence?
    The way I dress? My good looks?" The second fellow says, "No, I saw your class ring
    when you were picking your nose."

    West Virginia
    Two West Virginia football players were walking in the woods, one of them said, "Look
    a dead bird." The other looked up in the sky and said, "Where?"

    Ohio State
    What do you get if you see an Ohio State fan buried up to his neck in sand? More sand.

    Miami
    If you are driving and see a Miami football player riding a bicycle, why should you take
    great care in not hitting him? It could be your bike.

    Arkansas
    What do you get when you put 32 Arkansas cheerleaders in one room? A full set of teeth.

    Clemson
    How many Clemson freshman football players does it take to change a lightbulb? None.
    That's a sophomore course.

    Oklahoma
    How do you get a former Oklahoma football player off your porch? Pay him for the pizza.

    Tennessee
    Why do Tennessee fans wear orange? So they can dress that way for the game on Saturday,
    go hunting on Sunday and wear it to pick up trash on Monday.

    Michigan
    Why do Michigan football players go to movies in groups of 18 or more? 17 and under not
    admitted.

    Nebraska
    How do you get a Nebraska cheerleader into your dorm room? Grease her hips and push.

    Florida State
    What do you say to a Florida State football player dressed in a three-piece suit? Will the
    defendant please rise?

    Iowa
    How can you tell when its homecoming weekend at Iowa? The cheerleaders have braided
    their armpit hair.

    Penn State
    A Penn State football player was almost killed yesterday in a tragic horse back riding accident.
    He fell from the horse and was nearly trampled to death. Luckily, the manager of the Walmart
    came out and unplugged the horse.

    Central Florida
    What do you call a Central Florida football player with a National Championship ring? Thief!!
    "Predicting rain doesn't count, building the ark does." Warren Buffett
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  2. #452  
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    What do a maggot and an Alabama fan have in common? They can both live off of a dead bear for 20 years.


    NO JOKING HERE;
    A professor at the University of Alabama Birmingham used Twitter to tell protesters how to successfully pull down monuments, as rioters vandalized the Lincoln Memorial, the World War II Memorial and other iconic sites in the nation’s capital over the weekend.Sarah Parcak, an Egyptologist who specializes in ancient architecture, says she is an expert on obelisks, the shape of the Washington Monument. She noted obelisks “might be masquerading as a racist monument.”

    You'all need to take a hard look at your educators!
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  3. #453  
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    A bit rough around the edges, that joke came from BleacherReports.com.

    Okla. State LB Amen Ogbongbemiga tested positive for the Covid virus after attending a protest with mask on.
    I fear the CFB season is in serious jeopardy with a resurgence of the virus through all the protests/riots.

    Harbaugh walked in a protest in Ann Arbor, hope that wolverine face mask helped him avoid the virus!
    Last edited by VegasKnows; 06-03-2020 at 09:34 AM. Reason: added Harbaugh
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  4. #454  
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    Quick Hits

    *Former Auburn football coach and athletic director PAT DYE died Monday at the age of
    80. Dye compiled a 99-39-4 record and won four SEC titles with the Tigers from 1981-92.
    He was inducted into the College Football Hall of Fame in 2005. Hell of a coach.

    *In a game moved from Dublin, Ireland, Navy's Memorial Stadium is set to become the
    site of the 94th meeting, and the only time NAVY has played on their home field against
    NOTRE DAME. Overall, the Irish owns a 79-13-1 record in the series with Navy.

    *Four-star quarterback MILLER MOSS committed to USC over UCLA, Alabama and LSU. With
    Bryce Young committed to Alabama and Jake Garcia headed to USC, there was some doubt
    whether Moss could hold out and commit later to a program not on his priority list.

    *Standout Clemson wide receiver JUSTYN ROSS will not play for the Tigers this fall because
    of a spinal injury that will require surgery. Ross is expected to have a congenital fusion pre-
    cedure in his neck and spine on Friday. Over his first two seasons with Clemson, Ross has
    caught 112 passes for 1865 yards and 17 touchdowns.

    *Penn State defensive tackle DAMION BARBER said Monday he has entered the transfer portal.
    As a sophomore in 2019, the 6-3, 290 pound Barber appeared in eight games. He was a 4-star
    recruit in Penn States 2017 recruiting class.

    *Former Mississippi State corner back JARRIAN JONES is transferring to Florida State. Last week
    it was reported Jones was headed to Ole Miss, but now says he headed to Tallahassee. Jones
    played in eleven games for Mississippi State as a true freshman in 2019, including one start.

    *Former Miami running back LORENZO LINGARD has been granted immediate eligibility to play
    this season at Florida. Lingard was a five-star recruit in the Class of 2018 and ranked the No. 2
    running back in the country. He played in only two games in 2019 and enters 2020 as a redshirt
    sophomore.

    *Tennessee running back TIM JORDAN faces gun and marijuana charges in Florida. Jordan
    appeared in twelve games with four starts last season, rushing for 428 yards and one score with
    the Vols.

    *Former Stanford running back TREVOR SPEIGHTS announced that he will transfer to Notre Dame.
    He will join the Irish as a graduate transfer with one year of eligibility remaining. Speights did not
    play in 2019 for unspecified reasons.

    *The COLLEGE FOOTBALL HALL of FAME, located in Atlanta was damaged and looted during protest
    Friday night. The HOF said artifacts and memorabilia in its museum were not affected. The HOF
    was founded in 1951. It was located in South Bend, Indiana, form 1995-2012.
    "Predicting rain doesn't count, building the ark does." Warren Buffett
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  5. #455  
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    Hawaii - The Rainbow Warriors will travel to Arizona Saturday, August 29, knowing
    they have covered 12 of the last 17 games against Pac-12 teams. Hawaii also has
    had a tendency to play over the total (16 of 22) when playing non-conference teams.
    At this posting, the Rainbows are a 10.5 point underdog to the Wildcats.

    Sidenote: Might want to be careful wagering on Hawaii in conference (MWC) games.
    They have been a wagering man's doghouse going 10-26 against the spread over the
    past five seasons. (1-7, 3-5, 0-8, 3-4-1, 3-5)
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    DARK THURSDAY
    (gone fishing)
    "Predicting rain doesn't count, building the ark does." Warren Buffett
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  6. #456  
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    Gone fishing?? Lucky You!!! I now live on a 90 square mile bay and have fished it just once. so far. Too busy!!
    Really enjoy watching Major League Fishing tourneys
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