Johnny B. Rigid

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Sep 21, 2004
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A woman who had the worst chronic headache goes to a famous "new age"
holistic doctor, as a last resort.

"Doctor, I have tried everything, but my headache just won't go away."

The doctor replied, "You have come to the right place. This is
what I want you to do: go home, stare at yourself in the
mirror, point your index fingers at your temples, and repeat this
mantra:

"I really don't have a headache...I really don't have a headache". Do it as long as it takes, and the headache is just going to
vanish."

As she leaves the doctor's office, skeptical but curious at the
same time, she tries the maneuver in front of the mirror in the
elevator. Fingers pointed at her temples, she starts repeating
"I really don't have a headache, I really don't have a headache...".

She has barely said it four times, when she realizes her headache is gone. Shocked and elated, she runs back
up to the doctor.

"Doctor, you are a genius! Can I please send you my husband?
He's been having problems in a certain department... how can I put it... "

"When was the last time you two had sex?"

"About eight years ago."

"Send him over."

A few days later, she is waiting with baited breath for her
husband to come home from the doctor. He arrives, asks her to
wait, and goes straight to the bathroom. When he comes out, he throws
her on the couch and starts making wild passionate love to her. When
he's finished, he goes right back to the bathroom.

A few minutes later he comes out, rouses her from her bliss and starts at it again, like an insatiable young man. After another hour of great sex he goes and locks himself in the
bathroom again.

At this point the wife has become unbearably curious. She tiptoes to the bathroom door, looks through the keyhole, and sees her husband, staring at himself in the mirror, fingers pointed at his temples, repeating:



"That woman is not my wife,
"That woman is not my wife "
 

New member
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Sep 20, 2004
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Here's another one:

A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said
it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because
even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small.
The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. Irritated, the teacher
reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically
impossible. The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah".
The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?
" The little girl replied,"Then you ask him".
 

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