1. ATLANTA (1) - Smoltz isn’t hurt. He’s bored.
2. NY YANKEES (2) - Wells is washed up? No way! He’s having a great year! Oh wait, not Vernon Wells? Never mind then.
3. SAN FRANCISCO (3) - We’re all pulling for a Benito Santiago/Jesse Orosco matchup in the World Series - just like we were back in 1835.
4. OAKLAND (5) - And now Oakland is ready to start playing ball again (9 in a row).
5. SEATTLE (6) - One homerun all week. Powerful stuff. You know, maybe adding a bat (i.e. Rondell White) at any point might have helped.
6. BOSTON (4) - Manny’s sick. Damon’s sick. Red Sox fans are getting sick.
7. CHICAGO WHITE SOX (8) - Loaiza’s won 18! Of course, 4 were against Detroit... Loaiza’s won 14!
8. ST. LOUIS (10) - Looking for new additions Hitchcock and DeJean to take them to the next level. Oh yeah, and Pujols is real good.
9. FLORIDA (9) - Tried to bow out of the Wild Card race by getting swept by Pittsburgh but no one else won either.
10. PHILADELPHIA (7) - Gee, if only every game were against the Mets.
11. HOUSTON (11) - 18 runs in one game against LA, then just 1 against San Diego three days later. Mind boggling.
12. MINNESOTA (15) - What can you say about the Twins? Exactly.
13. LOS ANGELES (14) - Welcome to the Dead Ball Era.
14. KANSAS CITY (16) - Losses of Appier and Hernandez are wearing the pitching staff thin.
15. MONTREAL (17) - Good news: looks like you have a home for next year. Bad news: looks like it’s gonna be in Montreal.
16. CHICAGO CUBS (12) - Upcoming series vs. St. Louis may tell all.
17. ARIZONA (13) - The new game plan is to give The Unit absolutely no run support.
18. TORONTO (18) - Could be worse - you could have to play in Montreal.
19. ANAHEIM (19) - And they have officially disappeared off of the face of the Earth.
20. PITTSBURGH (24) - Finally got rid of that pesky Giles character. He was good. None of that here.
21. COLORADO (20) - If you could somehow combine Preston Wilson and Todd Helton, you’d get a guy with 59 HR’s and 232 RBI’s. And his name would be Prod Wilton.
22. TEXAS (21) - You know, they might’ve been able to turn it around if the season were just a 1000 games longer.
23. MILWAUKEE (27) - And now, the most unbelievable statement you’ll ever hear: The Milwaukee Brewers win 12 of 13!
24. CLEVELAND (26) - We should all feel privileged to be a part of the Indians 2003 season. What a time to be alive.
25. BALTIMORE (22) - How do you respond to losing 8 in a row? Deal one of your best hitters, of course!
26. NY METS (25) - Once upon a time, the Mets were awful... That time is now.
27. CINCINNATI (23) - I’m betting even Pete Rose wants nothing to do with them now. Let's hope Pete isn't.
28. SAN DIEGO (28) - Well at least they’re making Pittsburgh worse.
29. TAMPA BAY (29) - In honor of school starting, I offer you this simple equation: Devil Rays = horrible... wait Devil Rays < horrible. There we go.
30. DETROIT (30) - Phil Mickelson has a dream of pitching for a professional baseball team and they stick him in the Tigers system? Cruel.
http://story.theinsiders.com/a.z?s=228&p=2&c=174429
2. NY YANKEES (2) - Wells is washed up? No way! He’s having a great year! Oh wait, not Vernon Wells? Never mind then.
3. SAN FRANCISCO (3) - We’re all pulling for a Benito Santiago/Jesse Orosco matchup in the World Series - just like we were back in 1835.
4. OAKLAND (5) - And now Oakland is ready to start playing ball again (9 in a row).
5. SEATTLE (6) - One homerun all week. Powerful stuff. You know, maybe adding a bat (i.e. Rondell White) at any point might have helped.
6. BOSTON (4) - Manny’s sick. Damon’s sick. Red Sox fans are getting sick.
7. CHICAGO WHITE SOX (8) - Loaiza’s won 18! Of course, 4 were against Detroit... Loaiza’s won 14!
8. ST. LOUIS (10) - Looking for new additions Hitchcock and DeJean to take them to the next level. Oh yeah, and Pujols is real good.
9. FLORIDA (9) - Tried to bow out of the Wild Card race by getting swept by Pittsburgh but no one else won either.
10. PHILADELPHIA (7) - Gee, if only every game were against the Mets.
11. HOUSTON (11) - 18 runs in one game against LA, then just 1 against San Diego three days later. Mind boggling.
12. MINNESOTA (15) - What can you say about the Twins? Exactly.
13. LOS ANGELES (14) - Welcome to the Dead Ball Era.
14. KANSAS CITY (16) - Losses of Appier and Hernandez are wearing the pitching staff thin.
15. MONTREAL (17) - Good news: looks like you have a home for next year. Bad news: looks like it’s gonna be in Montreal.
16. CHICAGO CUBS (12) - Upcoming series vs. St. Louis may tell all.
17. ARIZONA (13) - The new game plan is to give The Unit absolutely no run support.
18. TORONTO (18) - Could be worse - you could have to play in Montreal.
19. ANAHEIM (19) - And they have officially disappeared off of the face of the Earth.
20. PITTSBURGH (24) - Finally got rid of that pesky Giles character. He was good. None of that here.
21. COLORADO (20) - If you could somehow combine Preston Wilson and Todd Helton, you’d get a guy with 59 HR’s and 232 RBI’s. And his name would be Prod Wilton.
22. TEXAS (21) - You know, they might’ve been able to turn it around if the season were just a 1000 games longer.
23. MILWAUKEE (27) - And now, the most unbelievable statement you’ll ever hear: The Milwaukee Brewers win 12 of 13!
24. CLEVELAND (26) - We should all feel privileged to be a part of the Indians 2003 season. What a time to be alive.
25. BALTIMORE (22) - How do you respond to losing 8 in a row? Deal one of your best hitters, of course!
26. NY METS (25) - Once upon a time, the Mets were awful... That time is now.
27. CINCINNATI (23) - I’m betting even Pete Rose wants nothing to do with them now. Let's hope Pete isn't.
28. SAN DIEGO (28) - Well at least they’re making Pittsburgh worse.
29. TAMPA BAY (29) - In honor of school starting, I offer you this simple equation: Devil Rays = horrible... wait Devil Rays < horrible. There we go.
30. DETROIT (30) - Phil Mickelson has a dream of pitching for a professional baseball team and they stick him in the Tigers system? Cruel.
http://story.theinsiders.com/a.z?s=228&p=2&c=174429
