Top Ten Signs Your Cat Is Trying To Kill You
10. You find a .22 buried in the litter box
9. "Fluffy" has been scratched into your will
8. As it rubs against your leg, you feel the sting of a hypodermic needle
7. The threatening meows on your answering machine
6. Your cat is on the episode of Springer titled "I Want My Owner Dead"
5. He's been seen hanging out with the dog who's trying to kill you
4. Newspaper calls to confirm obituary for next week, "Hated pet owner meets violent end"
3. Top step of your basement stairs is covered with slippery layer of Fancy Feast
2. To tune of Meow Mix song sings, "Kill kill kill kill, kill kill kill kill"
1. You overheard your cat on the phone with Robert Blake's cat
10. You find a .22 buried in the litter box
9. "Fluffy" has been scratched into your will
8. As it rubs against your leg, you feel the sting of a hypodermic needle
7. The threatening meows on your answering machine
6. Your cat is on the episode of Springer titled "I Want My Owner Dead"
5. He's been seen hanging out with the dog who's trying to kill you
4. Newspaper calls to confirm obituary for next week, "Hated pet owner meets violent end"
3. Top step of your basement stairs is covered with slippery layer of Fancy Feast
2. To tune of Meow Mix song sings, "Kill kill kill kill, kill kill kill kill"
1. You overheard your cat on the phone with Robert Blake's cat
