Well here is the story. Mrs. Jones went on a long shopping trip for a turkey, duck food, and other stuff too. We got family coming over and all that, so when I asked her to get a chicken too, she looked at me kinda funny but said she would.
So here's the thing. We got these seven ducks with their wings clipped on a pond next to the swamp out back here. Well for most of the year, I've had this plan for this fowl feast I've never had before. And last night I seen Madden again and they showed that damn main couse you know.
Oh and you all have to forgive me if I ramble, cause I been on the bourbon to get my nerve up since the minute she left. Anyway I'm pouring another right now.
So we got these here seven ducks and Mrs. Jones loves those ducks. That is a bad thing. I'm cognizant of that if nothing else.
As for my feelings, well they're OK and all, and I could live with six and I'd save on the duck food if you know what I mean. Seven, of course, is a lucky number. I have been winning and reducing that to six is a con on this here sheet where I'm tryin to list the pros and cons and the possible comsequences of the impending action I may take here soon as my mind gets ever more increasingly dulled.
Anyway I'm pouring another right now. So we also have this shotgun and like I said the ducks have their wings clipped so they're just ducks on the pond. Kind of like runners on second and third with nobody out and your up there with Barry Bonds coming up next. You all get the idea.
Now this TurDucken could really be great and maybe Mrs. Jones would actually be happy to show off her culinary prowess to family and other hangers on claiming to be kin, and forget about one of her beloved ducks. Especially if the bets I've made on some NCAA baskets based on gut feelings and bourbon come in. No? You think maybe?
Or maybe I should forget about it and not even go out there with the shotgun in my present condition cause I don't want to hit the dog who would be hangin around close by. And the neighbors got a little wired up,[ even though I missed all of them ] the last time I got liquored up and went out there with the shotgun. That was different though, cause I had brought me down some of that home stuff from Tennessee which I didn't do this time. And that time, I wasn't shootin at anything in particular anyway. Just the mailbox, a few trees and telephone poles.
So there is the conundrum I face gentlemen. And who am I gonna ask sittin here with the dog. Hell, he's all for diving in there and gettin the duck so why should I even ask him.
Anyway, I'm pouring another and I guess I'll just sit here and wait for some good advice. Good luck with your games gentlemen. May God Bless you all and just put the next one on my tab.
Oh yeah, I guess I could just wait for her to come back and ask her if I could please shoot me a duck, but the element of surprise would be missing and what fun would that be?
Nevermind it's too late now. She just got home walked into the office caught me still editing and asked "what are you writing now"?
Well, I had to let her read it. Then she took the bourbon away and told me I have to lay down for a while. Then we sort of struck a deal. I had unfortunately put in here the part about the "NCAA basket bets based on gut feelings and bourbon." She didn't think too much of that, but also said "hon I didn't know you wanted to shoot a duck so bad".
So OK, here's the latest. I do have to lay down and my bourbon has been confiscated. I will be fed in bed with a glass of wine.
And if those bets I placed show a profit she's gonna let me shoot a duck tomorrow.
If not the duck will be spared. But I can only place two more bets; one on the college foots where she will make the pick and I will fade it. That one will probably cover. And one on my T'Wolves contest pick which I have not decided on yet.
I have noticed that Pacers have played two back to backs with a flight in between and on the second game they have beaten the Cavs at home by one and the Knicks on the road by one. But those won't count on the final tally which will determine if I get to shoot a duck tommorrow.. I will have to show a profit on the NCAA basket picks based "on gut feelings and bourbon".
So anyway I'm off to bed where there is a tray consisting of shrimp, salad, a salami sandwich, And a big glass of quality Chianti.
And I might get to shoot the damn duck afterall. PURA VIDA.
So here's the thing. We got these seven ducks with their wings clipped on a pond next to the swamp out back here. Well for most of the year, I've had this plan for this fowl feast I've never had before. And last night I seen Madden again and they showed that damn main couse you know.
Oh and you all have to forgive me if I ramble, cause I been on the bourbon to get my nerve up since the minute she left. Anyway I'm pouring another right now.
So we got these here seven ducks and Mrs. Jones loves those ducks. That is a bad thing. I'm cognizant of that if nothing else.
As for my feelings, well they're OK and all, and I could live with six and I'd save on the duck food if you know what I mean. Seven, of course, is a lucky number. I have been winning and reducing that to six is a con on this here sheet where I'm tryin to list the pros and cons and the possible comsequences of the impending action I may take here soon as my mind gets ever more increasingly dulled.
Anyway I'm pouring another right now. So we also have this shotgun and like I said the ducks have their wings clipped so they're just ducks on the pond. Kind of like runners on second and third with nobody out and your up there with Barry Bonds coming up next. You all get the idea.
Now this TurDucken could really be great and maybe Mrs. Jones would actually be happy to show off her culinary prowess to family and other hangers on claiming to be kin, and forget about one of her beloved ducks. Especially if the bets I've made on some NCAA baskets based on gut feelings and bourbon come in. No? You think maybe?
Or maybe I should forget about it and not even go out there with the shotgun in my present condition cause I don't want to hit the dog who would be hangin around close by. And the neighbors got a little wired up,[ even though I missed all of them ] the last time I got liquored up and went out there with the shotgun. That was different though, cause I had brought me down some of that home stuff from Tennessee which I didn't do this time. And that time, I wasn't shootin at anything in particular anyway. Just the mailbox, a few trees and telephone poles.
So there is the conundrum I face gentlemen. And who am I gonna ask sittin here with the dog. Hell, he's all for diving in there and gettin the duck so why should I even ask him.
Anyway, I'm pouring another and I guess I'll just sit here and wait for some good advice. Good luck with your games gentlemen. May God Bless you all and just put the next one on my tab.
Oh yeah, I guess I could just wait for her to come back and ask her if I could please shoot me a duck, but the element of surprise would be missing and what fun would that be?
Nevermind it's too late now. She just got home walked into the office caught me still editing and asked "what are you writing now"?
Well, I had to let her read it. Then she took the bourbon away and told me I have to lay down for a while. Then we sort of struck a deal. I had unfortunately put in here the part about the "NCAA basket bets based on gut feelings and bourbon." She didn't think too much of that, but also said "hon I didn't know you wanted to shoot a duck so bad".
So OK, here's the latest. I do have to lay down and my bourbon has been confiscated. I will be fed in bed with a glass of wine.
And if those bets I placed show a profit she's gonna let me shoot a duck tomorrow.
I have noticed that Pacers have played two back to backs with a flight in between and on the second game they have beaten the Cavs at home by one and the Knicks on the road by one. But those won't count on the final tally which will determine if I get to shoot a duck tommorrow.. I will have to show a profit on the NCAA basket picks based "on gut feelings and bourbon".
So anyway I'm off to bed where there is a tray consisting of shrimp, salad, a salami sandwich, And a big glass of quality Chianti.
And I might get to shoot the damn duck afterall. PURA VIDA.
