I am in WAY TOO DEEP here , it could be the end of The Journeyman...

Well I am probably making the biggest mistake of my life in the next week, and I already wish I could get out of it. But I will have to suck it up and just take it like a man...

I have mentioned in the past my girlfriend from Tennessee , for those interested that don`t know the story...

I met this girl over the internet earlier this year, we talked alot finally met and everything for the most part has went well , its been a long distance thing which has had its moments, good and bad....Well about 3 weeks ago she told me she had this wonderful news that she would MOVE HERE SO WE CAN BE TOGETHER ALL THE TIME!!!
Well at first it did seem like an interesting situation but as the day has gotten close its now turned into she is not only moving here but MOVING IN WITH ME.....How I got trapped into agreeing I don`t even know exactly, but its too late to back out....Oh and she has an 8 year little girl just to make it more complicated...

So as the anticipation grows I really question what the hell I am doing....Not only do I not know her well enough for her to move in with me, but I will probably be stuck once she gets here doing all the bullshit stuff couples do and on top of it feel obligated to make sure she is adjusting to everything here in Maryland....Another words I will feel like a married sap who never gets to do what he wants anymore.....

The plus side of this is she is a very very hot sexy young (25) woman with a killer body.....But other than that (which does help) I just don`t know enough.....

This is basically like a reality show where two somewhat strangers are thrown into a house and asked to become an item, it almost feels like a mail order bride type situation....She talks of marrying me and having children and all like its happening next month....At this point I have to go thru with it, but I am on record admitting I know this is going to blow up in my face....How it got to this point its my fault and I will have to just deal with it, who knows maybe by some miracle it will work, but it has recipe for disaster written all over it...

She has already told me I have to be home just about every night, and that we will watch movies and 'cuddle' lol on the couch .... Well when will I have time for my games? When will I have time to watch football all day saturday and sunday? How will I juggle this one,lol?
Its the end of me as I knew it...She will have me whipped and i will turn into everything I don`t wanna be...HELP me guys, any advice....Do I just change my number and not answer the door? She is having a tractor trailer with all her belongings shipped here next friday..
She doesn`t even know I gamble, how will I explain to her why I am watching Wyoming and Colorado State play on a thursday night? Or why i am watching a blowout and sitting on the edge of my seat?
Its over for me, I just know it...I am in too deep....

How old are you - Journeyman ?

Funny stuff
Just call her and tell her NO.
if she s already on the way,tell her that you ll pay the hotel for a couple of days plus the expenses for the return,and no,you are not going to pay for anything else.

The answer is simple if you are sure you will be making a mistake - call her and tell her the truth. The pain you and she experience from this will be pretty bad, and afterwards you'll have all these regrets like you had the first time you posted about her, but it will be pale in comparison to the pain you will feel and cause if you go through with something you aren't committed to. If you still want her down near you, fine, but tell her she has to have her own place, and tell her why - it's just too fast for you to commit to her moving in. Otherwise, you'll make yourself miserable, the way you seem to feel, and you certainly won't make their lives any better, either, resenting the move and feeling trapped.

If you think it's tough now to do something about this, wait until they're already living with you and the kid is in school.

GL

Its a tough call because I just don`t know...I mean she could move here and everything be fine and dandy, and thats why I have been willing to roll the dice about this...Not to mention she is extremely attractive (she is in all honesty out of my league when it comes to looks) I have never met and been with anyone this attractive,lol...Could be part of my warped thinking on this....

But at the same time I am not getting any younger and the women I have met the past few years just haven`t done much for me...so I meet her and she`s different than the women up here , it must be something about the south,lol...its like she is so into this forever talk and just settling down, and I`m thinking well "how can she know all this stuff?" the old addage , if it seems to good it usually is.....

J-man is back with the J-man cronicles!

All successful relationships are based on honesty. If you aren't sure yet tell her. This is not something to gamble on. We do enough gambling already. Ask yourself why is she wanting to move so fast? Why is she in such a hurry to uproot herself? What is her motivation--Love, a father for her daughter, money...

Good luck

Crandell

Its the only way Bro!

Where else can I get good sound advice on just about anything for free?

LOL, the real take notice was when she told me I could only go out two nights a week to play Madden Football...Thats when I knew I was in trouble...I need Madden!

I thought about that too...but how else can two people that live 11 hours away really find out, so in a way I give her credit foe having the guts to take the chance...I almost feel like I`m over analizing the situation (a terrible fault of mine)

And if six months from now I have no one then what? The grass eventually has to be green doesn`t it...I have lost sleep over it , part of me says "just go for it", the other says "this can`t work its just to unconventional" but what is conventional anyway, over 50% of marriages don`t even make it...This is not 1970, can people really meet and live happily ever after meeting on the internet?! I am sure this will get even more interesting in the next few weeks....

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Journeyman:
Its the only way Bro!

Where else can I get good sound advice on just about anything for free?

LOL, the real take notice was when she told me I could only go out two nights a week to play Madden Football...Thats when I knew I was in trouble...I need Madden!<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

See the madden football thing i would make it 3!

no brainer

Unless you are gay or have some leanings in that direction you should go for it. I mean, let's face it, you got 8000 posts in a year on a stinking gambling forum!

J-MAN,

AS A PERSON WHO HAS BEEN MARRIED FOR 20 YRS. ALL I CAN TELL YOU IS LAY OUT THE RULES NOW, NOT AFTER SHE MOVES IN WITH YOU. IF YOU PLAN ON WATCHING FOOTBALL ALL DAY SATURDAY, LET HE KNOW NOW. IF YOU PLAN ON POSTING ON THE RX ALL DAY TELL HE KNOW....ETC. ETC.....THIS WAY IT IN THE OPEN AND SHE KNOWS IT....GL......G.

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>IF YOU PLAN ON WATCHING FOOTBALL ALL DAY SATURDAY, LET HE KNOW NOW <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>


exactly Jman...I have been married 15 yrs....took me the first 5 just to get my sundays FREE to watch football...and another 3 to get saturdays!! so lay the rules now Sir

J-MAN....you and I have to have a serious talk someday.

For the situation at hand, I see you as having not a whole lot to lose by having her move to you. Much better than the other way around. Can you imagine if you were moving to Tennessee. You would be shaking your head.

If you knew my life story you would be stunned. Your problem, although you think is great, is a piece of cake. MOVE HER UP AND SEE HOW IT GOES. Dont let nothing but fear hold you back son.

Buzzsaw you took the words out of my mouth!
I don't want to go any further on this "Dear Abby" like post, Journey man good luck with your chick, there's nothing worse than living on regrets, go for it!
Tiger Abby

I cannot back out now....I think/hope it can work out, Strut i would never leave Maryland as my daughter is with me half the time so thats not an option....I have lived for the past 3 years as a single independant person, it will be a huge adjustment and one that won`t all be bad...I just fear the unknown,lol...I am a big believer in laws of averages and percentages and I know its not likely to last but you only live once , so what the fvck...

I will have to remind her that I am a big sports fan and 'work' alot...the move is next friday so I can`t back out....in the back of my mind though I wouldn`t be completely disappointed if she backed out...its very confusing, it called my life !

BUZZ- actually I have over 15000 posts , I had my odometer reset during the hack attack..so yes I get your drift...

J-man.......Be considerate of her. Your new family should be the most important thing to you. Not the RX, not sports, not betting. Be nice to her.

My husband called me in here to read this and asked me to answer from a woman's perspective.

I don't think you should let her move in. Sometimes hot, hot, bods are not worth it because if she is so hot why doesn't someone in Tennessee have her already.
Should you really fall in love with her, and be watching games everynight, where will she be taking that hot, hot bod and what will she be doing with it? You don't build a relationship on lust. What is it you have that she wants?
There is something wrong, for example, some kind of instability with her for being so quick in her decision.
And the gambling. If she has never lived with a gambler before, she will have to live like she is completely alone and yet have to take care of this person by being sure there is enough alcohol in the house, being sure he has enough cigarettes, being sure the cable bill is paid on time to make sure the games will be on. You have to be sure if you leave the house you have to have the cell phone to call in the bets and be sure you have a handheld TV. If you go dancing you have to be sure there is a TV pointing toward the dance floor,and you only get to dance during timeouts anyway. When you go out to eat you only eat in sports bars. Also you have to be sure while cleaning up the pig sty in the gambling office, which you will always have to do, you don't throw away Tuesday's USA Today sports section. You will not be able to bitch about at least a $100 a month for somekind of DonBest screen, not to mention the noise of at least three TV's on at the same time.
She will need to learn not to be upset about finding slips of paper with phone numbers because they are just numbers of the sports books. And my last comment is if you do happen to drag him away from the house lets say to help you with some shopping make sure you have a list and get it done quickly because there will always be a game coming on shortly and if not there is the RX.
I'm just wondering who would be getting the better end of this. If you can train her to put up with all of this and even get up early to start on doing numbers, and with that hot bod you would really be in luck. So maybe I'm wrong and you should do this.
I do these things and put up with them because I love my insane Mr. Jones. but the qustion is will she.

Sincerely and Good Luck

Mrs. Jones

I have thought about that...why she isn`t taken , but why aren`t alot of women/girls taken? She is a nurse so she has the ability to travel and get a job, but I do know what your saying.....Thats why I am very skeptical, but its not like I am offering her anything other than a place to live, and she has offered to pay half, lol...so the only thing I have to work on is making her understand I need some space....

There are many different types of females, she is the kind thats all clingy , she doesn`t come from a real strong family....and says thats what she wants...believe me I am about as inquisitve as they come,lol...I cannot find the whole in her story....


My odds at this point...

Will she move in
Yes - 400
No + 320

Will she be here 6 months from now
No -400
Yes +320

J-man, i dont know you but i did the long distance thing for 2 years before i took the plunge. we were about 11 hours away and it sucked, i would travel 1-2 times a month and see her. well, 5 years later we are now married. it was rough for a while but it is all working out, she is a good girl.

go by gut feeling, if it doesnt feel right, by all means, dont do it!

good luck