Man comes home to find his wife missing.......After several hours he reports her missing to the police. Two days go by and his wife is still missing, and eveyone begins to think the worst.To keep his mind off of things, the mand goes back to work. That 3rd day , the man ruturns home from work to surprisingly find his wife in the kitchen. Overjoyed, he embraces his wife and with tears in his eyes, says, "Honey, what happened, where have you been?" His wife replies "These 3 men kidnapped me for one week and made mad, crazy sex to me" The husband replies, "But honey, its only been 3 days"........His wife then says, "Oh, I'm just here to get something to eat"..........
[FONT="]A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new dogs, and asked her what their names were. [/FONT]
[FONT="]The blonde responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex. [/FONT]
[FONT="]Her friend said, 'Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?' [/FONT]
[FONT="]'HELLLOOOOOOO......,' answered the blonde. 'They're watch dogs'![/FONT]
[FONT="]The blonde responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex. [/FONT]
[FONT="]Her friend said, 'Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?' [/FONT]
[FONT="]'HELLLOOOOOOO......,' answered the blonde. 'They're watch dogs'![/FONT]
Girl with no arms and no legs sitting on the dock at the lake with a guy.
Girl tells guy she’s never been hugged by a guy before, he hugs her.
Girl tells guy she’s never been kissed before, he kisses her.
Girl tells guy she’s never been fucked before, guy pushes her in the lake and yells, “You’re fucked now!!”
Ollie and Sven are about to get married . Ollie’s out golfing with his buddies they hear 4 . Ollie takes one right in the pecker. His buddies rush him to the doctor . Doctor takes out some gauze tongue depressants and some tape wraps him up. Next day Ollie and Sven get married . Sven takes off her clothes and says Ollie no one has ever set eyes on these breasts before. Ollie pulls down his pants and says Sven you see this it’s still in the crate
