One of the best BeantownJim threads I've found so far...

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well folks tonights the night i hope for cool hand jim to strike it rich.the big game lottery in 8 states is worth 300 million and MASSACHUSETTS is on the list.this is the top 10 things ill do if i win.

#10 i will buy a home on nantucket island right next to cathy lee and frank gifford and blast michelle jackson music at her all night i cant stand her.also ill hire a hooker to come on to that old bastard frank just to piss cathy lee off

#9 i will buy all new clothes i want to buy the same suits deion sanders wears i think they would look good on a rich kid from south boston.imagine a white guy with fancy clothes walking through the city. man the old irish women would flip out.

#8 i would gamble all day i wouldnt care what i bet on i would bet on kangaroo fights in australia to midget wrestling in japan i would just want 24 hour action.boy its nice being loaded

#7 i would buy my own golds gym i would not allow any russians or fags into my gym.maybe then i could have a whirlpool without anybody bothering me.it will be a mens club not a girly mans club

#6 I WOULD DIVORSE MY HARD WORKING WIFE I WOULD JUST HAVE TO SAY HONNY YOU KNOW I LOVE YOU AND YOU HAVE BEEN WONDERFULL TO ME OVER THE YEARS BUT I CANT HANG WITH THE RICH AND RUN AROUND WITH AN OLD BAG LIKE YOU I NEED A 25 YEAR OLD THAT LOOKS GREAT IN A BIKINI.SORRY DEAR BUT WHAT WOULD MY RICH FRIENDS THINK.I MIGHT EVEN MOVE TO BRAZIL

#5 i will move out of south boston and into the suburbs no more irish social club i dont have time for the riff raff im playing polo at 11 am

#4 i will leave the prescription forum i dont have time for small talk now i have plenty of friends with money its great we sit around telling each other how we got rich and how many people we stepped on to do it.i will also pay for brain surgury for our good friend dennis the man.

#3 i will march into st.marys church and give father ryan my walking papers imagine cool hand JIM a volenteer.then i will stare him down and say thanks buddy this is what i got for praying i owe you one heres 500,000 build the kids a gym and name it after me i want the boys in south boston to remember cool hand JIM and how he finally made an honest living.no more wise guys

#2 now that im divorsed i have to find a new women so i think i would like to judge the miss hawain tropic contest the same one o.j. simpson judged before the murders rumor has it o.j slept with half the contestants and he would have done the whole field but he ran out of gas.

#1 this is it the number one reason why i want to win the 300 million dollar prize is i want to pay sick gambler the 50 bucks i owe him.thats it folks i will sit back tonight and watch as they draw the six numbers with thought of changing my lifestyle.my wife probably has her own plans she went and bought 10 tickets alone and she wont show me her numbers wouldnt it be just my luck to have my lovely wife double cross me and leave me for a rock hudson look alike.cool hand JIM
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yes i thought that one was the funniest as well

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