How to impress a Woman....

bucsfan67

Pop-culture, entertainment, sports and contest Mod

Joined

Dec 20, 2002

Messages

33,977

Tokens

• Dec 6, 2004

• #1

Saw this joke today, thought it was kinda funny, definitely true....


To impress a woman:

>Wine her. Dine her. Call her. Hold her. Surprise her. Compliment her.
>Smile at her. Listen to her. Laugh with her. Cry with her. Romance
>her. Encourage her. Believe in her. Pray with her. Pray for her. Cuddle
>with her. Shop with her. Give her jewelry. Buy her flowers. Hold her hand.
>Write love letters to her. Go to the ends of the earth and back again for
>her.
>
>To impress a man:
>
>
>Show up naked. Bring chicken wings. Don't block the TV.

 

sherman

International Playa

Joined

Dec 15, 2003

Messages

10,183

Tokens

• Dec 6, 2004

• #2

funny.

 

Dante

Active member

Joined

Jun 20, 2000

Messages

71,780

Tokens

• Dec 6, 2004

• #3

extremely true....

 

Fishhead

Active member

Joined

Oct 20, 1999

Messages

75,444

Tokens

• Dec 6, 2004

• #4

Show up naked. Bring chicken wings. Don't block the TV.........and SHUT-UP!

 

Dante

Active member

Joined

Jun 20, 2000

Messages

71,780

Tokens

• Dec 6, 2004

• #5

Fishhead said:

Show up naked. Bring chicken wings. Don't block the TV.........and SHUT-UP!

Click to expand...

 

jjgold

New member

Joined

Jul 20, 2002

Messages

10,363

Tokens

• Dec 6, 2004

• #6

I was a king in my day

All I would do was wear my mink and wink at them and I had them

Those were the days

 

hawkeye171

New member

Joined

Sep 20, 2004

Messages

2,757

Tokens

• Dec 6, 2004

• #7

if she bought beer and actually knew the spread or what to spead, she might be
ring-worthy.:hump:

 

Journeyman

Banned

Joined

Sep 20, 2004

Messages

80,046

Tokens

• Dec 6, 2004

• #8

Simplicity is actually the best ... I have finally realized the secret...there is none!


looks help

 

winkyduck

I am sorry for using the "R" word - and NOTHING EL

Joined

Oct 21, 1999

Messages

9,024

Tokens

• Dec 6, 2004

• #9

what a load of crap


the ONLY 2 ways to impress a woman are with 2 "bulges" in your pants:

1.) a large bulge in the back for your full wallet

2.) an even larger bulge between your legs

and in that order. a guy worth $100 million with a 1-inch schlong is INFINITE times "sexier" than a guy worth $1.98 and a 14-inch schlong

 

blueedwards

in your heart, you know i'm right

Joined

Mar 21, 2002

Messages

14,785

Tokens

• Dec 6, 2004

• #10

Fishhead said:

Show up naked. Bring chicken wings. Don't block the TV.........and SHUT-UP!

Click to expand...

and...don't b*tch about my gambling - what do you think paid for last night's dinner?

 

blueedwards

in your heart, you know i'm right

Joined

Mar 21, 2002

Messages

14,785

Tokens

• Dec 6, 2004

• #11

winkyduck said:

what a load of crap


the ONLY 2 ways to impress a woman are with 2 "bulges" in your pants:

1.) a large bulge in the back for your full wallet

2.) an even larger bulge between your legs

and in that order. a guy worth $100 million with a 1-inch schlong is INFINITE times "sexier" than a guy worth $1.98 and a 14-inch schlong

Click to expand...

it has been my experience that in real life, most women do not care about the size of the penis. unless it is well below normal. jj, care to comment?

 

MrGoodDr

New member

Joined

Nov 27, 2004

Messages

424

Tokens

• Dec 6, 2004

• #12

Last time a woman said something to me about penis size. She said "Its not the size of your pencil, its how ya write your name". Surely she was not referrring to "ole shorty"??

 

jjgold

New member

Joined

Jul 20, 2002

Messages

10,363

Tokens

• Dec 6, 2004

• #13

Size does matter, in my prime when I knew how to use my gunner it costed me numerous chicks. The common complaint was when I was doing them they would just lie there and say nothing and I told them it was in there and they felt nothing so a lot of them just got up and left and said I had nothing.

Hurt my ego and I was a stud then, cash, 5-4, 220

 

EaglesWinBowl

New member

Joined

Sep 21, 2004

Messages

41

Tokens

• Dec 6, 2004

• #14

Hey bucsfan, i couldnt help notice that you omitted "play your favorite toby keith cd" as a way to impress a woman.

 

bookie

New member

Joined

Nov 21, 2001

Messages

1,932

Tokens

• Dec 6, 2004

• #15

One Saturday afternoon, a man was sitting in his lawn chair drinking beer and watching his wife mow the lawn.

A neighbor lady was so outraged at this, she came over and shouted at the man, "You should be hung!"

To which he calmly replied, "I am. That's why she cuts the grass!"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------

What's the fastest way to a woman's heart?

Through his chest with a sharp knife. :lolBIG:


Lisa doesnt find it funny :cart76: