Either that was really good eggnog at the company Christmas party this year, or these are the best carolers ever. Look! Out the window! Listen ...
It's a group of San Francisco grand jurors breaking from daily leaks to sing their own version of Frosty the Snowman!
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Barry the BALCO man
Had a secret in his soul
With a jar of cream
And a jar of clean
And two arms made out of "flaxseed oil"
Barry the BALCO man
Is a fairy tale they say
He was made of muscle
But the scientists tussle
'Bout how he came to life one day
There must have been some magic
In that jar of cream they found
For when he placed it on his arms
He jerked fastballs to Puget Sound
Barry the BALCO man
Was alive and he could talk
And the scouts all say
He could swing and play
Just like the Incredible Hulk
Barry the BALCO man
Knew the grand jury was in that day
So he said let's go
I'll say I don't know
Now before I melt away
Down to the village
With a protein shake in his hand
Running here and there all around the square
Saying catch me if you can
He led them down the streets of town
Right past the steroids cop
And he only paused a moment when
He heard him holler Stop!
Barry the BALCO man
Had to hurry on his way
But he waved goodbye
Saying don't you cry
I'll put the next pitch in the Bay
Thumpety thump thump
Thumpety thump thump
Look at Barry go!
Thumpety thump thump
Thumpety thump thump
Watch that forehead grow!
It's outfielder Milton Bradley, backed by the Cuyahoga (Ohio) County Jail Glee Club, with his version of an old classic!
I'll be home for Christmas
If they set me free
Please forgive and then forget
I'll behave -- you'll see
Christmas eve will find me
Nowhere near the stands
Oh, I'll visit the anger counselor
If only so I don't injure my hands
Look who's leading the Yankees' front office in Jingle Bells -- George Steinbrenner!
Jingle Bells
Boras sells
Giambi laid an egg
Oh what fun it is to shop
In one-horse baseball towns
Dashing through the market
With an open Gucci wallet
O'er the Astros we go
Beltran's price is low (ha ha ha)
The Unit demanded a trade
Makes our spirits bright
What fun to mock the Sox and sing
A slaying song tonight
Oh Jingle Bells
Boras sells
Kevin Brown laid an egg
Oh what fun it is to see
How high our payroll can be
A day or two ago
We thought we'd make a trade
And soon big Randy Johnson
Will be seated in our dugout
The Unit is lean and lank
The Red Sox winter is dank
Oh what fun it is to sing
A slaying song tonight!
Oh Jingle Bells
Boras sells
Vazquez laid an egg ...
Shhh, it's Los Angeles Dodgers owner Frank McCourt and general manager Paul DePodesta singing Silent Night!
Silent night
Money's tight
Beltre left
Green is next
'Round opening day it will be wild
Holy smokes -- our lineup will be mild
Raise the parking rates!
Raise the ticket prices, too!
Silent night
What a fright
Jim Tracy quakes
At the sight
Boos cascade from upper deck stands
Kent's at second with horrible hands
We can't even throw it around the horn
Can't even throw around the horn
It's the 29 major-league owners singing O Little Town of Bethlehem -- or something like that!
O little town of Washington
Without a stadium you die
Right past your deep and mighty hopes
The homeless Expos will fly
Yet in the dark hour shineth
The everlasting light
For a few million bucks and a few more perks
You'll get your wish tonight
It's Angels owner Arte Moreno and the entire Anaheim organization with a famous old standard!
Hark the herald Angels sing
Been two years since we've won a ring
Vlad's in right, Finley's locked up tight
Orlando Cabrera -- what a sight!
Joyful all ye pitchers rise
Up in Oakland, only sighs
With Billy Beane to proclaim
Without Mulder and Hudson it's not the same
Hark the herald Angels sing
Glory to the AL West king!
It's superagent Scott Boras singing The Most Wonderful Time of the Year!
It's the most wonderful time of the year
With free agents cha-chinging
And Mike Ilitch telling you be of good cheer
It's the most wonderful time of the year
It's the hap-happiest season of all
With those packed winter meetings
And most wary greetings
When GMs come to call
It's the hap-happiest season of all
There'll be pitchers for hosting
New owners for roasting
And offers for Derek Lowe
There'll be scary A-Rod stories
And tales of the glories
Of free agents of long, long ago
It's the most wonderful time of the year
There'll be much Beltran wining
And J.D. Drew dining
When deals are near
It's the most wonderful time of the year
CBS Sportsline
It's a group of San Francisco grand jurors breaking from daily leaks to sing their own version of Frosty the Snowman!
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Barry the BALCO man
Had a secret in his soul
With a jar of cream
And a jar of clean
And two arms made out of "flaxseed oil"
Barry the BALCO man
Is a fairy tale they say
He was made of muscle
But the scientists tussle
'Bout how he came to life one day
There must have been some magic
In that jar of cream they found
For when he placed it on his arms
He jerked fastballs to Puget Sound
Barry the BALCO man
Was alive and he could talk
And the scouts all say
He could swing and play
Just like the Incredible Hulk
Barry the BALCO man
Knew the grand jury was in that day
So he said let's go
I'll say I don't know
Now before I melt away
Down to the village
With a protein shake in his hand
Running here and there all around the square
Saying catch me if you can
He led them down the streets of town
Right past the steroids cop
And he only paused a moment when
He heard him holler Stop!
Barry the BALCO man
Had to hurry on his way
But he waved goodbye
Saying don't you cry
I'll put the next pitch in the Bay
Thumpety thump thump
Thumpety thump thump
Look at Barry go!
Thumpety thump thump
Thumpety thump thump
Watch that forehead grow!
It's outfielder Milton Bradley, backed by the Cuyahoga (Ohio) County Jail Glee Club, with his version of an old classic!
I'll be home for Christmas
If they set me free
Please forgive and then forget
I'll behave -- you'll see
Christmas eve will find me
Nowhere near the stands
Oh, I'll visit the anger counselor
If only so I don't injure my hands
Look who's leading the Yankees' front office in Jingle Bells -- George Steinbrenner!
Jingle Bells
Boras sells
Giambi laid an egg
Oh what fun it is to shop
In one-horse baseball towns
Dashing through the market
With an open Gucci wallet
O'er the Astros we go
Beltran's price is low (ha ha ha)
The Unit demanded a trade
Makes our spirits bright
What fun to mock the Sox and sing
A slaying song tonight
Oh Jingle Bells
Boras sells
Kevin Brown laid an egg
Oh what fun it is to see
How high our payroll can be
A day or two ago
We thought we'd make a trade
And soon big Randy Johnson
Will be seated in our dugout
The Unit is lean and lank
The Red Sox winter is dank
Oh what fun it is to sing
A slaying song tonight!
Oh Jingle Bells
Boras sells
Vazquez laid an egg ...
Shhh, it's Los Angeles Dodgers owner Frank McCourt and general manager Paul DePodesta singing Silent Night!
Silent night
Money's tight
Beltre left
Green is next
'Round opening day it will be wild
Holy smokes -- our lineup will be mild
Raise the parking rates!
Raise the ticket prices, too!
Silent night
What a fright
Jim Tracy quakes
At the sight
Boos cascade from upper deck stands
Kent's at second with horrible hands
We can't even throw it around the horn
Can't even throw around the horn
It's the 29 major-league owners singing O Little Town of Bethlehem -- or something like that!
O little town of Washington
Without a stadium you die
Right past your deep and mighty hopes
The homeless Expos will fly
Yet in the dark hour shineth
The everlasting light
For a few million bucks and a few more perks
You'll get your wish tonight
It's Angels owner Arte Moreno and the entire Anaheim organization with a famous old standard!
Hark the herald Angels sing
Been two years since we've won a ring
Vlad's in right, Finley's locked up tight
Orlando Cabrera -- what a sight!
Joyful all ye pitchers rise
Up in Oakland, only sighs
With Billy Beane to proclaim
Without Mulder and Hudson it's not the same
Hark the herald Angels sing
Glory to the AL West king!
It's superagent Scott Boras singing The Most Wonderful Time of the Year!
It's the most wonderful time of the year
With free agents cha-chinging
And Mike Ilitch telling you be of good cheer
It's the most wonderful time of the year
It's the hap-happiest season of all
With those packed winter meetings
And most wary greetings
When GMs come to call
It's the hap-happiest season of all
There'll be pitchers for hosting
New owners for roasting
And offers for Derek Lowe
There'll be scary A-Rod stories
And tales of the glories
Of free agents of long, long ago
It's the most wonderful time of the year
There'll be much Beltran wining
And J.D. Drew dining
When deals are near
It's the most wonderful time of the year
CBS Sportsline
