Question for all: Bonus SEX -- Yes or No?

SVT_Cobra · Apr 30, 2005

For anyone that doesn't know, bonus sex is when you run into an ex girl friend, ex wife, ex f_ck friend and just decide, well it was good before, why not one more time.

Of course you are most probably going to be with some one else at that point. You could be with a girl friend or remarried. Either way you are supposed to be committed. Which makes it all the more forbidden.

So what do you do?

Yes, go for it and screw your brains out?

No, forgot it, be good even though you know you want a piece of that @ss again?

TheGeneral+ · Apr 30, 2005

Damn tough question.

SVT_Cobra · Apr 30, 2005

Damn general. I was just putting the post up and I saw you answered already.

Quick on that keyboard. :103631605

TheGeneral+ · Apr 30, 2005

I am a hermit turned loose on the internet. I describe myself that way. :drink:

Roxygurl · Apr 30, 2005

i say dont hit it. it ended for a reason before so why put a current relationship at risk by reliving the past. its never as good or hot as the 1st time around.

aceduecetrey · Apr 30, 2005

as long as she knows what it is all about, then I dont see a problem. If you are in a relationship, make sure that she knows it and it is all about sex and nothing else.

SVT_Cobra · Apr 30, 2005

aceduecetrey said:
as long as she knows what it is all about, then I dont see a problem. If you are in a relationship, make sure that she knows it and it is all about sex and nothing else.

Normally she or for the girls, he, is in another relationship at the time too. So it's only a one time, we are not supposed to be doing this, thing.

Roxygurl · Apr 30, 2005

SVT_Cobra said:
Normally she or for the girls, he, is in another relationship at the time too. So it's only a one time, we are not supposed to be doing this, thing.

then if your conscience can allow it i see nothing to stop you. ive been in that position and i felt badly. i have never done it since.

SVT_Cobra · Apr 30, 2005

roxygurl said:
then if your conscience can allow it i see nothing to stop you. ive been in that position and i felt badly. i have never done it since.

Ah, but you did do it. Afterwards you felt guilty, but your conscience was not enough to stop you before hand.

The guilt afterwards has stopped you from doing it again.

Personally, I think guilt gets less and less, the more times you do it.

Just for the record, I have never done it. But I have always wondered about it.

xpanda · Apr 30, 2005

No, it's cheating.

Roxygurl · Apr 30, 2005

SVT_Cobra said:
Ah, but you did do it. Afterwards you felt guilty, but your conscience was not enough to stop you before hand.

The guilt afterwards has stopped you from doing it again.

Personally, I think guilt gets less and less, the more times you do it.

Just for the record, I have never done it. But I have always wondered about it.

i was younger and less wiser than i am today.it was wrong and that was 12 years ago.lol. it was a great lesson and now i passed it on to you.

TheGeneral+ · Apr 30, 2005

There is just such a thrill in doing so. I have to agree with Xpanda though. My conscience would catch up.

SVT_Cobra · Apr 30, 2005

The problem is, everyone has there own definition of cheating. Where do you draw the line.

It's easy to say sex with another person is cheating.

But almost everyone starts a new relationship while being bored with their current relationship.

It starts off just by flirting, talking, joking. Is that cheating? Is it only cheating if it develops into sex?

Adding the touchy feely aspect to the above, is that cheating? Or merely being friendly?

Is it harmless if one or both people like each other? Are feelings involved?

When is the line crossed? Only with sex or making out?

Is it only cheating if you are being decietful and hiding this from your partner? Is it not cheating if you are open with your partner that you are flirtling but in a friendly way with another person?

The line becomes very blurry. I'm sure it's safe to say we can all relate to this blurry line.

I know we are a bit off my original question but when does it become cheating? We can't answer when your conscience tells you because everyone has different beliefs and morals. Some people can have multiple partners on the side and not feel bad at all.

Roxygurl · Apr 30, 2005

SVT_Cobra said:
The problem is, everyone has there own definition of cheating. Where do you draw the line.

It's easy to say sex with another person is cheating.

But almost everyone starts a new relationship while being bored with their current relationship.

It starts off just by flirting, talking, joking. Is that cheating? Is it only cheating if it develops into sex?

Adding the touchy feely aspect to the above, is that cheating? Or merely being friendly?

Is it harmless if one or both people like each other? Are feelings involved?

When is the line crossed? Only with sex or making out?

Is it only cheating if you are being decietful and hiding this from your partner? Is it not cheating if you are open with your partner that you are flirtling but in a friendly way with another person?

The line becomes very blurry. I'm sure it's safe to say we can all relate to this blurry line.

I know we are a bit off my original question but when does it become cheating? We can't answer when your conscience tells you because everyone has different beliefs and morals. Some people can have multiple partners on the side and not feel bad at all.

when lips touch id say the cheating has begun.lol.

THE SHRINK · Apr 30, 2005

Nope, I say the cheating often starts before that RG...

SVT_Cobra · Apr 30, 2005

THE SHRINK said:
Nope, I say the cheating often starts before that RG...

Bingo!! Thank you Shrink. From your perspective and education I'm glad you answered.

Cheating starts in the mind.

Roxygurl · Apr 30, 2005

SVT_Cobra said:
Bingo!! Thank you Shrink. From your perspective and education I'm glad you answered.

Cheating starts in the mind.

if thats true many vows have been violated by interacting with me on any level.i agree,lust begins from within but flirting while in a relationship is just human nature. its how that lust and flirting is controlled that makes us true to our partner.

SVT_Cobra · Apr 30, 2005

roxygurl said:
if thats true many vows have been violated by interacting with me on any level.i agree,lust begins from within but flirting while in a relationship is just human nature. its how that lust and flirting is controlled that makes us true to our partner.

Lust and flirting, even while only in the mind, under control as you say, is still cheating. Sex has much more to do with the mind than the body.

Also if you hide that from your partner, that shows that you are feeling guilty about it. That is really the part that bothers me.

Question for the Shrink: Is it still cheating if all parties are open with each other?

winkyduck · Apr 30, 2005

i agree with something RG said - the past relationship ended for a reason - and usually NOT a good one

also - if i am in a relationship with someone else - i couldn't do it and live with myself - the "weight" of it on my shoulder would be too much - even if she never found out about it

if we were 4-legged animals - who weren't "fixed" we could do this but the fact we have a brain (or at least should) and can process what is/isn't right - you don't need to be a Rocket Scientist to know what is wrong and right - and this would be WRONG!

also - i might be a hopeless romantic - but to me - if you are in a committed relationship with someone - that means when it comes time for showing your feelings and emotions - it should be done with your partner and not someone yo used to "F"

i would HATE for my partner to do this to me - and as much as i HATE 2-faced people - i could never do it to someone and would never tolerate it from my partner (if/when i had one)

Dante · Apr 30, 2005

of course 100% yes!!For anyone that doesn't know, bonus sex is when you run into an ex girl friend, ex wife, ex f_ck friend and just decide, well it was good before, why not one more time.

of couse 100% yes!

Question for all: Bonus SEX -- Yes or No?

Bonus sex: Yes or no?

Yes: Hot nasty forbidden sex

No: Be good and wonder why you didn't do it later on

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