Here is a site for ya then:
http://www.heavethehawk.com/
HE GONE
This website is dedicated to the removal of White Sox television broadcaster Ken "Hawk" Harrelson. Mr. Harrelson's unique blend of non-standard English and ego-maniacal blather have made the mute button a must for Sox T.V. viewers during the last three decades.
HeavetheHawk.com will offer the most up-to-date and obnoxious Hawk-related action...every minute on the minute...or at least once a week.
Check back soon to view the debut of our animated series featuring Hawk and his daily exploits. Also, look for bonus coverage including our Ken Harrelson timeline, quote archives, Darrin Jackson fodder, and vertical line poem. We have more ideas than R. Kelly's got crabs. Big Ups, Chicago. You're classy and you deserve the best!
1. Repetitive nature. See Hawkisms. He's been "describing" the events in a ballgame with the same stale catch phrases for more than 20 seasons.
2. Dead Air. “The Hawk” is the most boring announcer in the game. He routinely goes 2-3 minutes without saying a single word, especially when the Sox are losing.
3. Homer. “The Hawk” is the most obnoxious homer ever. He calls the Sox the “good guys,” and the opponents, “bad guys.” Other broadcasters exhibit partiality but he "raises" the bar entirely. He’s more cheerleader than broadcaster. Cardinals' announcer Mike Shannon is a bit of a homer too, but he grew up in St. Louis and played for the Cardinals. Different story. Why is Harrelson such a rabid Sox fan anyway? Frankly, it's a little weird.
4. Hick. "The Hawk" is not from Chicago. He didn't play for the Sox. Harrelson is more qualified to bark at carnivals than announce White Sox games. Would Orioles fans want a South Carolinian, Conway Twitty sound-alike doing their broadcasts? Doubt it. Why must Chicago, the third largest media market in the country, listen to a backwoods hillbilly who has NO White Sox connection? But wait, he was GM for a year, you say. That's right. Read on.
5. GM Schmee-Em. Harrelson's .239 career batting average looks good compared to his run as Sox GM in 1986. He fired Tony LaRussa, the most successful manager in the game today, over personal differences. He traded Bobby Bonilla for a pitching machine (Jose DeLeon). He almost single-handedly sent the team to Florida. How can any self-respecting Sox fan support "The Hawk?"
6. Lame stories. When he's extra fired up, Harrelson tells dopey stories like they're going out of style. He yaps incessantly about Carl Yastrzemski like he was Jesus in stirrups. OK Ken, we get it...now just quit your job already.
7. Because he sounds like this.
8. Because he used to play baseball with cow patties.
9. Because he's been a douche for quite some time now.
10. Because Jay Mariotti wants to clock him. Oh wait, Mariti sucks too.
http://www.heavethehawk.com/
HE GONE
This website is dedicated to the removal of White Sox television broadcaster Ken "Hawk" Harrelson. Mr. Harrelson's unique blend of non-standard English and ego-maniacal blather have made the mute button a must for Sox T.V. viewers during the last three decades.
HeavetheHawk.com will offer the most up-to-date and obnoxious Hawk-related action...every minute on the minute...or at least once a week.
Check back soon to view the debut of our animated series featuring Hawk and his daily exploits. Also, look for bonus coverage including our Ken Harrelson timeline, quote archives, Darrin Jackson fodder, and vertical line poem. We have more ideas than R. Kelly's got crabs. Big Ups, Chicago. You're classy and you deserve the best!
1. Repetitive nature. See Hawkisms. He's been "describing" the events in a ballgame with the same stale catch phrases for more than 20 seasons.
2. Dead Air. “The Hawk” is the most boring announcer in the game. He routinely goes 2-3 minutes without saying a single word, especially when the Sox are losing.
3. Homer. “The Hawk” is the most obnoxious homer ever. He calls the Sox the “good guys,” and the opponents, “bad guys.” Other broadcasters exhibit partiality but he "raises" the bar entirely. He’s more cheerleader than broadcaster. Cardinals' announcer Mike Shannon is a bit of a homer too, but he grew up in St. Louis and played for the Cardinals. Different story. Why is Harrelson such a rabid Sox fan anyway? Frankly, it's a little weird.
4. Hick. "The Hawk" is not from Chicago. He didn't play for the Sox. Harrelson is more qualified to bark at carnivals than announce White Sox games. Would Orioles fans want a South Carolinian, Conway Twitty sound-alike doing their broadcasts? Doubt it. Why must Chicago, the third largest media market in the country, listen to a backwoods hillbilly who has NO White Sox connection? But wait, he was GM for a year, you say. That's right. Read on.
5. GM Schmee-Em. Harrelson's .239 career batting average looks good compared to his run as Sox GM in 1986. He fired Tony LaRussa, the most successful manager in the game today, over personal differences. He traded Bobby Bonilla for a pitching machine (Jose DeLeon). He almost single-handedly sent the team to Florida. How can any self-respecting Sox fan support "The Hawk?"
6. Lame stories. When he's extra fired up, Harrelson tells dopey stories like they're going out of style. He yaps incessantly about Carl Yastrzemski like he was Jesus in stirrups. OK Ken, we get it...now just quit your job already.
7. Because he sounds like this.
8. Because he used to play baseball with cow patties.
9. Because he's been a douche for quite some time now.
10. Because Jay Mariotti wants to clock him. Oh wait, Mariti sucks too.
Hawk is a serious golfer though. He quit baseball to join the PGA Tour in 1971.
He is brutal and so is his sidekick Darrin Jackson. The first year in the booth together, Harrelson almost kicked DJ's ass during a game on the air. Nice thing when the Sox are losing, Hawk barely says anything.
For equal opportunity, Remy is brutal too.
He is brutal and so is his sidekick Darrin Jackson. The first year in the booth together, Harrelson almost kicked DJ's ass during a game on the air. Nice thing when the Sox are losing, Hawk barely says anything.
For equal opportunity, Remy is brutal too.
