I think all gamblers who have lived their single and independant life find marriage very hard as:
1 - It has retraints.
2 - It has responsibilities and most of all
3 - It isn't as fun as single life.
Then you have a kid and love the kid to bits and live life with that pleasure but in your heart knowing you're not really as happy as you could be. At this stage you are stuck - if you want out, you're finacially ruined and probably lose the child as well. Life sentence - no parole!
C'est la vie - trade offs in life.
1 - It has retraints.
2 - It has responsibilities and most of all
3 - It isn't as fun as single life.
Then you have a kid and love the kid to bits and live life with that pleasure but in your heart knowing you're not really as happy as you could be. At this stage you are stuck - if you want out, you're finacially ruined and probably lose the child as well. Life sentence - no parole!
C'est la vie - trade offs in life.
Here's my advice....1) Insread of being clear on what you don't want (In this case marriage.), try to figure out exactly what you do want. Example, maybe you don't want to be single, what you really want is freedom? Or to feel sexy again? Whatever. Is there a way to stay married and have what you want? 2) See a therapist by yourself. That should help you decid if you want to fix your marriage or if you really need a divorce. 3) Couples counseling. I have done it and I would bet many who are married on this forum have, but most won't admit it. If it saves your marriage and makes your kids lives better, then do it! 4) There comes a point where you're hurting your kids by staying together, more than helping. Sometimes you have to seperate FOR the kids sake. Hope it all works our for you my friend.
Mason
Mason
in the same boat ave have 3 kids 9 , 3 , 2
mean the world to me been unhappy for probally 6 years but still cant go anywhere because coulndt inmagine not tucking my kids into bed everynight . Is this being greedy i dont know i just know no matter how baD IT GETS ITS WORTH THEIR SMILES AND HEARING DADY WE LOVE U EVRYNIGHT AND NOT JUST ON THE WEEKENDS HANG IN THERE I AM FOR AT LEAST 15-20 MORE YEARSLOL
mean the world to me been unhappy for probally 6 years but still cant go anywhere because coulndt inmagine not tucking my kids into bed everynight . Is this being greedy i dont know i just know no matter how baD IT GETS ITS WORTH THEIR SMILES AND HEARING DADY WE LOVE U EVRYNIGHT AND NOT JUST ON THE WEEKENDS HANG IN THERE I AM FOR AT LEAST 15-20 MORE YEARSLOL
Me too, same program, just further down the road. 3 kids 13, 15 ( boys ), & 19 girl in college. I could not have imagined how deeply I could care about another human until having kids. They are what holds my wife and I together --- on many occasions. I have no regrets, they are worth wethering the storms that occur in a marriage. Nothing in my experiences in life, even come close to the joy of being a parent.
Now, when the last boy reaches 18 ----- I may be on to the next party ---- I'm not sure and won't be till I get to that point.
It's the best of times, and worst of times, all the time in life, in my view. I try to focus on the wins and forget about the losses as soon as possible.
On that note, I'm going to grab the kids and get the hell out of Houston before the storm hits --- even if she is stupid enough to think we should
" ride it out ".
If she decides to stay, my advice to her will be to keep her free hand high and don't forget to keep spurring till the ride stops !
Now, when the last boy reaches 18 ----- I may be on to the next party ---- I'm not sure and won't be till I get to that point.
It's the best of times, and worst of times, all the time in life, in my view. I try to focus on the wins and forget about the losses as soon as possible.
On that note, I'm going to grab the kids and get the hell out of Houston before the storm hits --- even if she is stupid enough to think we should
" ride it out ".
If she decides to stay, my advice to her will be to keep her free hand high and don't forget to keep spurring till the ride stops !
