Column: My new career as a football official
By JAMES GROB, Courier sports editor
OTTUMWA DAILY COURIER (OTTUMWA, Iowa)
OTTUMWA, Iowa — With a little luck, this column might be the last duty I ever perform as a sports editor.
I just might have found my true calling in life.
If I play my cards right, there’s a good chance that by this time tomorrow, I’ll be gainfully employed as a Conference USA football official.
I’ve looked into other professions, of course. For a while, my life’s ambition was to become a guitar player in a popular heavy metal power trio.
That hasn’t worked out for me.
Heavy metal music isn’t topping the charts the way it once was, and as I’ve found out, in order to be any kind of guitar player, you have to know how to play the guitar, at least a little bit.
Which is why I’ve chosen this exciting new profession. Apparently, one doesn’t need any skill or talent whatsoever in order to be a Conference USA football official.
You’d think that it would be necessary for a college football official to have a certain amount of knowledge when it comes to the rules of college football.
Not in Conference USA. In Conference USA, it’s okay to just make up rules as you go along.
Making up rules can be fun.
Recently, I watched the Outback Bowl on television. It was an exciting game between solid teams from two very good college football conferences — the Iowa Hawkeyes of the Big Ten and the Florida Gators of the Southeastern Conference. The game was officiated by a crew from Conference USA, who took the opportunity to make up a lot of new rules as the game went along. It was amazing to watch.
For example, I had no idea that the old football rule about each team having ll players on the field at a time is actually more of a loose guideline. Several times Florida opted to use 12 players, and to me, that seems fair. That 12th player practices just as hard as the other 11, and deserves some playing time. Personally, I was proud when Iowa found a way to score a touchdown against Florida’s powerful 5-3-4 defensive alignment, which was employed by the Gators several times throughout the game. Watch it on tape if you can — time and time again, Florida managed to get that lucky extra player into the game.
I also had no idea that a player could be penalized for allowing his opponent to grab his facemask. I think this might be a good rule — players need to keep their facemasks to themselves, and not have them sticking out all over the place for other players to grab.
Marking the football at the end of the play has always been an inexact science. It’s difficult for any official to determine exactly where to put the ball. They’re developing a system in Conference USA, however, that takes a lot of pressure off the officials. As witnessed in the Outback Bowl, officials don’t even have to look anymore — they have the authority to mark the ball wherever the heck they want to, regardless of forward progress of the play. This system is much more efficient.
I’ve always been in favor of strict rules to protect punters and kickers. A punter is in a very vulnerable position after a kick, and any contact can result in serious injury. So I’m pleased that the roughing rule, as it applies to punters, has been expanded. In Conference USA, you can now be penalized for “frightening the punter.” I’m looking forward to further expansion of this rule, as I think it should also be illegal in football to “annoy the punter.”
I’m not as sure that rules that protect quarterbacks should be interpreted so liberally, however. In the Outback Bowl, an Iowa defender was penalized for tackling. I think rules that ban tackling will make the game of football less exciting. Just my opinion.
Offsides — now there’s a rule that’s always been way too easy to call. When a player is over the line of scrimmage, he is considered offsides and his team is penalized. If a player is not over the line of scrimmage, there is no reason for an offsides call, so usually, no call is made.
But apparently in Conference USA, “offsides” is more of a philosophical concept. A player is offsides if an official decides he is offsides, regardless of where he is physically. In Conference USA, apparently you might get hit with an unexpected offsides penalty at any time during the game. You don’t have to actually be offsides to get penalized — heck, I’m not sure you even have to be in the game at all. You might get called for offsides on the sideline on your way over the to Gatorade bucket.
This keeps players on their toes.
These exciting new rules and others have me pumped. I’m really looking forward to becoming a Conference USA football official, and hope I get my chance to prove myself.
One potential problem for me arises due to the fact that, since I was raised a Christian, I developed a high sense of morality at a very young age. I’ve never stolen anything in my life, so it’s going to be difficult for me to learn the art of robbery.
And robbery seems to be the one thing Conference USA officials do quite well.
By JAMES GROB, Courier sports editor
OTTUMWA DAILY COURIER (OTTUMWA, Iowa)
OTTUMWA, Iowa — With a little luck, this column might be the last duty I ever perform as a sports editor.
I just might have found my true calling in life.
If I play my cards right, there’s a good chance that by this time tomorrow, I’ll be gainfully employed as a Conference USA football official.
I’ve looked into other professions, of course. For a while, my life’s ambition was to become a guitar player in a popular heavy metal power trio.
That hasn’t worked out for me.
Heavy metal music isn’t topping the charts the way it once was, and as I’ve found out, in order to be any kind of guitar player, you have to know how to play the guitar, at least a little bit.
Which is why I’ve chosen this exciting new profession. Apparently, one doesn’t need any skill or talent whatsoever in order to be a Conference USA football official.
You’d think that it would be necessary for a college football official to have a certain amount of knowledge when it comes to the rules of college football.
Not in Conference USA. In Conference USA, it’s okay to just make up rules as you go along.
Making up rules can be fun.
Recently, I watched the Outback Bowl on television. It was an exciting game between solid teams from two very good college football conferences — the Iowa Hawkeyes of the Big Ten and the Florida Gators of the Southeastern Conference. The game was officiated by a crew from Conference USA, who took the opportunity to make up a lot of new rules as the game went along. It was amazing to watch.
For example, I had no idea that the old football rule about each team having ll players on the field at a time is actually more of a loose guideline. Several times Florida opted to use 12 players, and to me, that seems fair. That 12th player practices just as hard as the other 11, and deserves some playing time. Personally, I was proud when Iowa found a way to score a touchdown against Florida’s powerful 5-3-4 defensive alignment, which was employed by the Gators several times throughout the game. Watch it on tape if you can — time and time again, Florida managed to get that lucky extra player into the game.
I also had no idea that a player could be penalized for allowing his opponent to grab his facemask. I think this might be a good rule — players need to keep their facemasks to themselves, and not have them sticking out all over the place for other players to grab.
Marking the football at the end of the play has always been an inexact science. It’s difficult for any official to determine exactly where to put the ball. They’re developing a system in Conference USA, however, that takes a lot of pressure off the officials. As witnessed in the Outback Bowl, officials don’t even have to look anymore — they have the authority to mark the ball wherever the heck they want to, regardless of forward progress of the play. This system is much more efficient.
I’ve always been in favor of strict rules to protect punters and kickers. A punter is in a very vulnerable position after a kick, and any contact can result in serious injury. So I’m pleased that the roughing rule, as it applies to punters, has been expanded. In Conference USA, you can now be penalized for “frightening the punter.” I’m looking forward to further expansion of this rule, as I think it should also be illegal in football to “annoy the punter.”
I’m not as sure that rules that protect quarterbacks should be interpreted so liberally, however. In the Outback Bowl, an Iowa defender was penalized for tackling. I think rules that ban tackling will make the game of football less exciting. Just my opinion.
Offsides — now there’s a rule that’s always been way too easy to call. When a player is over the line of scrimmage, he is considered offsides and his team is penalized. If a player is not over the line of scrimmage, there is no reason for an offsides call, so usually, no call is made.
But apparently in Conference USA, “offsides” is more of a philosophical concept. A player is offsides if an official decides he is offsides, regardless of where he is physically. In Conference USA, apparently you might get hit with an unexpected offsides penalty at any time during the game. You don’t have to actually be offsides to get penalized — heck, I’m not sure you even have to be in the game at all. You might get called for offsides on the sideline on your way over the to Gatorade bucket.
This keeps players on their toes.
These exciting new rules and others have me pumped. I’m really looking forward to becoming a Conference USA football official, and hope I get my chance to prove myself.
One potential problem for me arises due to the fact that, since I was raised a Christian, I developed a high sense of morality at a very young age. I’ve never stolen anything in my life, so it’s going to be difficult for me to learn the art of robbery.
And robbery seems to be the one thing Conference USA officials do quite well.
