<TT>U.S. MINT: Hi, this is Cheryl. Thank you for calling...
JOHN HARGRAVE: [Frantically] Cheryl, my child is choking on a DIME!!
USM: ...
JH: What do I do? He's six months old, and he's choking on one of YOUR DIMES.
USM: I think you need to call 911.
JH: I can't do that right now. He's choking! CHOKING!
USM: Sir. You need to hang up the phone and call 911.
JH: It's lodged sideways in his windpipe. I can see it. How do I get it out?
USM: Please hang up the phone right now and call 911.
JH: I've tried slapping him on the back. Should I try to grab it with my fingers?
USM: Sir...
JH: SHOULD I!?
USM: ...
JH: Hang on.
[Much rustling of the phone, a few screams from my "child," and some loose change hitting the table.]
JH: Hello, Cheryl?
USM: Yes sir.
JH: It's out. I got the dime. Oh, man. That was scary.
USM: Sir, next time you need to call 911 right away.
JH: I can't believe you're making this my fault. You guys should put a warning on those things.
USM: [Rustling on the other end, then angry older woman takes the phone] Hello, this is Ms. Johnstone. I am a supervisor monitoring this call. Next time you need to call 911 RIGHT AWAY so you can take care of your child.
JH: But YOU GUYS made the DIME!
USM: Beyond the point, when your child is choking, you should call 911 so a paramedic can come assist you.
JH: [Worried] He's not making any noise. Is that normal?
USM: We are going to hang up this phone right now so you can call 911.
JH: What do they know about dimes? YOU GUYS ARE THE DIME EXPERTS!
USM: If you don't hang up, then we will call 911 for you.
JH: All I'm saying is that you guys should put some kind of warning on our coins, like "KEEP OUT OF REACH OF CHILDREN" or "MAY BE HARMFUL OR FATAL IF SWALLOWED."
USM: OK sir, what is your name so I can report this to 911?
JH: John Myers. I don't know what's wrong with you people, that you can't make our coinage more child-safe.
USM: And your zip code?
JH: 02199. I mean, the quarters and half-dollars are fine. They're big. But the dimes and pennies ... it's like using live cobras for currency.
USM: And what is your phone number, sir?
JH: [I give her my phone number.] Let me tell you, you're lucky my child didn't choke to death. I'd sue you for every last penny. Then I'd move onto the nickels.
USM: OK, thank you. We are calling 911.
[She pretends to hang up, and I patiently wait]
JH: Hello?
USM: [Now even angrier] Is there anything else we can do for you, sir?
JH: I don't know why you feel the need to call 911. He's fine. It's out now.
USM: Because you said he was having problems breathing, and he needs medical attention.
JH: No, he's fine. He's crawling around on the floor, playing with his piggy bank.
USM: [Furious] Is there anything else we can do for you today, sir?
JH: Just tell me why you don't make our coins out of some sort of large, pliable rubber or childsafe plastic?
USM: They've been making coins like this for hundreds of years, sir. Now we are going to end this call. Is there anything else?
JH: I can't believe how long it took to track down your number. All the while my child was choking. You should put, like, a toll-free number on every coin!
USM: [She interrupts me, and we begin talking over each other] I do not ... I am ending this call now for quality assurance purposes.
[Hangs up]</TT>
JOHN HARGRAVE: [Frantically] Cheryl, my child is choking on a DIME!!
USM: ...
JH: What do I do? He's six months old, and he's choking on one of YOUR DIMES.
USM: I think you need to call 911.
JH: I can't do that right now. He's choking! CHOKING!
USM: Sir. You need to hang up the phone and call 911.
JH: It's lodged sideways in his windpipe. I can see it. How do I get it out?
USM: Please hang up the phone right now and call 911.
JH: I've tried slapping him on the back. Should I try to grab it with my fingers?
USM: Sir...
JH: SHOULD I!?
USM: ...
JH: Hang on.
[Much rustling of the phone, a few screams from my "child," and some loose change hitting the table.]
JH: Hello, Cheryl?
USM: Yes sir.
JH: It's out. I got the dime. Oh, man. That was scary.
USM: Sir, next time you need to call 911 right away.
JH: I can't believe you're making this my fault. You guys should put a warning on those things.
USM: [Rustling on the other end, then angry older woman takes the phone] Hello, this is Ms. Johnstone. I am a supervisor monitoring this call. Next time you need to call 911 RIGHT AWAY so you can take care of your child.
JH: But YOU GUYS made the DIME!
USM: Beyond the point, when your child is choking, you should call 911 so a paramedic can come assist you.
JH: [Worried] He's not making any noise. Is that normal?
USM: We are going to hang up this phone right now so you can call 911.
JH: What do they know about dimes? YOU GUYS ARE THE DIME EXPERTS!
USM: If you don't hang up, then we will call 911 for you.
JH: All I'm saying is that you guys should put some kind of warning on our coins, like "KEEP OUT OF REACH OF CHILDREN" or "MAY BE HARMFUL OR FATAL IF SWALLOWED."
USM: OK sir, what is your name so I can report this to 911?
JH: John Myers. I don't know what's wrong with you people, that you can't make our coinage more child-safe.
USM: And your zip code?
JH: 02199. I mean, the quarters and half-dollars are fine. They're big. But the dimes and pennies ... it's like using live cobras for currency.
USM: And what is your phone number, sir?
JH: [I give her my phone number.] Let me tell you, you're lucky my child didn't choke to death. I'd sue you for every last penny. Then I'd move onto the nickels.
USM: OK, thank you. We are calling 911.
[She pretends to hang up, and I patiently wait]
JH: Hello?
USM: [Now even angrier] Is there anything else we can do for you, sir?
JH: I don't know why you feel the need to call 911. He's fine. It's out now.
USM: Because you said he was having problems breathing, and he needs medical attention.
JH: No, he's fine. He's crawling around on the floor, playing with his piggy bank.
USM: [Furious] Is there anything else we can do for you today, sir?
JH: Just tell me why you don't make our coins out of some sort of large, pliable rubber or childsafe plastic?
USM: They've been making coins like this for hundreds of years, sir. Now we are going to end this call. Is there anything else?
JH: I can't believe how long it took to track down your number. All the while my child was choking. You should put, like, a toll-free number on every coin!
USM: [She interrupts me, and we begin talking over each other] I do not ... I am ending this call now for quality assurance purposes.
[Hangs up]</TT>
