I get all the good ones. Lived with two of them (separately) in my 20s and 30s, now I'm 49 one for eight years. Never been married. Now I seem to find the pyschos or ones with kids.
Here's my latest....
I've been friends with Billy for about 12 years. We both like the OTB and have mutuel friends. Billy is 6-5, 400-plus. Jovial guy. He's a mortgage broker, and gave me a great rate when I bought a new house in December. About a year ago Billy, who is 37, mentions that there's this appraiser who I should meet. He said we're compatible. Well, I hate blind dates and was going with someone and didn't want the hassle.
Well, Billy, who is married and has an eight-year-old daughter, brings her to the OTB one day. We talk, it's cool, but I'm still going with someone and didn't want to start over.
This appraiser buys a house 40 miles away with her sister and Billy says one night that he's going over to help her work on it. To be a nice guy, I go along. Well, me and the appraiser hit it off while Billy is outside sitting on the porch. This is in late April.
Three weeks ago, I dump my other girlfriend and ask the appraiser out. We have a good time, and we're sitting in my living room watching TV, nothing going on, when the doorbell rings at 11 p.m.. It's Billy. I figure maybe he hit at the track and wants to talk about it.
He walks in and says to the appraiser, "Did you tell him?' and she said no. I'm thinking, is there something wrong with my mortgage and I'm going to get kicked out of my house?
Well, he said he and the appraiser have been seeing each other for eight months. This doesn't exactly floor me, but it is a surprise because Billy is huge. So anyway, he starts blubbering like a baby and says his daughter wrote him a letter about breaking up their family and he has to go back to his wife--who he was having problems with for eight months.
Well, the appraiser takes him home and he bothers her for a few days and then it's apparently over.
Since he's been a friend and did me some favors, I can't get pissed. She has been divorced twice and said Billy was there when she needed someone to talk to, and I figure well, if I would have acted faster, that probably would have been me. So I let it go and his crying binge stops after a few days.
So I've been seeing the appraiser for about three weeks, pretty steady. I've met her two grown daughters and her parents. There hasn't been any overnighters, but I planned for that this weekend.
So late yesterday afternoon she calls. She had a racquetball match set for 6:30 so I didn't call her. She says she's late for the match because Billy stopped by her house to talk. She said he also was going to be there later after she got done. Well this caught me off guard, but she was up front about it so I wished her luck with her match and said I see her for lunch today.
Well she lives a couple of blocks off the street that I travel to get to work. For the hell of it, I drove past at 4:30 a.m. today and Billy's Suburban is still in her driveway. Now I'm pissed.
Billy lives about 35 miles away and this appraiser just can't tell this guy to go to hell. What I think happened is he spent the night on the couch, but I'm old enough and experienced enough to know other things might have happened.
OK, enough backround. The question is what do I do now? Do I call her and ask her out for lunch and see what she says? Do I blow her off for good? Do I go home from work, mow the grass, go work out and grill out and have a few beers and see if she comes over? Do I take her phone calls?
What pisses me off is I really believe she's a good woman. She been's twice divorced, once in her early 20s (guy was a druggie and drunk) and then last year (guy was nine years older than her--she's 50) and had issues with being in Viet Nam).
Pretty entertaining story, huh? Well, fire away.
Here's my latest....
I've been friends with Billy for about 12 years. We both like the OTB and have mutuel friends. Billy is 6-5, 400-plus. Jovial guy. He's a mortgage broker, and gave me a great rate when I bought a new house in December. About a year ago Billy, who is 37, mentions that there's this appraiser who I should meet. He said we're compatible. Well, I hate blind dates and was going with someone and didn't want the hassle.
Well, Billy, who is married and has an eight-year-old daughter, brings her to the OTB one day. We talk, it's cool, but I'm still going with someone and didn't want to start over.
This appraiser buys a house 40 miles away with her sister and Billy says one night that he's going over to help her work on it. To be a nice guy, I go along. Well, me and the appraiser hit it off while Billy is outside sitting on the porch. This is in late April.
Three weeks ago, I dump my other girlfriend and ask the appraiser out. We have a good time, and we're sitting in my living room watching TV, nothing going on, when the doorbell rings at 11 p.m.. It's Billy. I figure maybe he hit at the track and wants to talk about it.
He walks in and says to the appraiser, "Did you tell him?' and she said no. I'm thinking, is there something wrong with my mortgage and I'm going to get kicked out of my house?
Well, he said he and the appraiser have been seeing each other for eight months. This doesn't exactly floor me, but it is a surprise because Billy is huge. So anyway, he starts blubbering like a baby and says his daughter wrote him a letter about breaking up their family and he has to go back to his wife--who he was having problems with for eight months.
Well, the appraiser takes him home and he bothers her for a few days and then it's apparently over.
Since he's been a friend and did me some favors, I can't get pissed. She has been divorced twice and said Billy was there when she needed someone to talk to, and I figure well, if I would have acted faster, that probably would have been me. So I let it go and his crying binge stops after a few days.
So I've been seeing the appraiser for about three weeks, pretty steady. I've met her two grown daughters and her parents. There hasn't been any overnighters, but I planned for that this weekend.
So late yesterday afternoon she calls. She had a racquetball match set for 6:30 so I didn't call her. She says she's late for the match because Billy stopped by her house to talk. She said he also was going to be there later after she got done. Well this caught me off guard, but she was up front about it so I wished her luck with her match and said I see her for lunch today.
Well she lives a couple of blocks off the street that I travel to get to work. For the hell of it, I drove past at 4:30 a.m. today and Billy's Suburban is still in her driveway. Now I'm pissed.
Billy lives about 35 miles away and this appraiser just can't tell this guy to go to hell. What I think happened is he spent the night on the couch, but I'm old enough and experienced enough to know other things might have happened.
OK, enough backround. The question is what do I do now? Do I call her and ask her out for lunch and see what she says? Do I blow her off for good? Do I go home from work, mow the grass, go work out and grill out and have a few beers and see if she comes over? Do I take her phone calls?
What pisses me off is I really believe she's a good woman. She been's twice divorced, once in her early 20s (guy was a druggie and drunk) and then last year (guy was nine years older than her--she's 50) and had issues with being in Viet Nam).
Pretty entertaining story, huh? Well, fire away.
