Need advice - problem gambling

DodgerBlues · Jul 31, 2006

I have a huge problem caused by my sports betting - baseball and Wnba - losing. I have been getting destroyed the last two months and this weekend was it for me. I just keep losing and losing.

I did some transactions that I don't have the money in my checking account and it's going to hit today. Should I call my bank and tell them I intentionally am going to bounce insta cash eft's? Or Neteller? What are they going to do when my bank sends them back? I do not have the money, not even close to what I did.

I don't know what to do. I am about to lose my wife and home over this losing. It's incredible the amount of money I've lost. It might not be much to people on this forum, but to me, it's more than I make in 6 months.

Has anybody in here gone thru this? I am going to have to go to GA or something. My wife is going to kill me when this all goes down.

I want to see what you people think I should do or what my options are (other than suicide, I got kids that I want to see grow up). Thanks, Mike

gynecologist · Jul 31, 2006

Learn from your mistakes and never bet with money you don't have ever
again.

A couple of questions..

Are You are still employed?

And how good is your credit?

Hal01 · Jul 31, 2006

You took a shot at a book and lost. Go to your bank and get a loan.

Hal

JimmyHoffa · Jul 31, 2006

Dodger Blues said:
I am going to have to go to GA

There is your answer.

Tell your family the truth. There's no shortcut fix to your problem. Get GA help and good luck.

passingthewind · Jul 31, 2006

Mike worry about your wife and kids first and get help for your problem and the rest will fall in place. Suicide is no answer especially when you have kids. Get the help you need asap and do whatever it takes to get that help. Good Luck. As far as the bank answers I do not know that.

Brock Landers · Jul 31, 2006

1st off, i can tell you presonally i have been there with the Neteller Instacash situation, and best advice i can give you is to quit now and FORGET paying them back...they can't do a god damn thing to you and its better to save you family/wife and house then to give away more money that you don't have...

Just let the bank return the instacash's and move on from there...

Fishhead · Jul 31, 2006

First off DB, welcome to TheRX.

My very first recommendation to you is to take a few deep breaths and RELAX and realize nothing is ever as bad as it seems at the time.

You will find many posters here that will give you quality advice about your current situation and believe it or not, ACTUALLY DO CARE ABOUT YOUR WELL BEING...........and a few can actually relate from firsthand experiences what you are going through.

You will be fine, just be patient DB ........and do the right thing from here on out.

Wish you all the best,

-FH-

gynecologist · Jul 31, 2006

Brock Landers said:
1st off, i can tell you presonally i have been there with the Neteller Instacash situation, and best advice i can give you is to quit now and FORGET paying them back...they can't do a god damn thing to you and its better to save you family/wife and house then to give away more money that you don't have...

Just let the bank return the instacash's and move on from there...

Are you sure? My buddy still hasn't taken care of his Instacash debacle
and he gets emails from Neteller saying they are going to report it
to Experian, Equifax and TransUnion..

DodgerBlues · Jul 31, 2006

Thanks for the responses guys.

My credit is terrible - long story. I do have a mediocre job.

I am so screwed up it's not even fixable.

I can/should be the poster child for banning internet sports gambling cause I was out of control and gambling with money I do not have.

X-Files · Jul 31, 2006

Dodger Blues said:
I can/should be the poster child for banning internet sports gambling cause I was out of control and gambling with money I do not have.

You could be the poster child for banning the stock market too.

goodcall · Jul 31, 2006

GA would be a great help...a lot of people there have gone through the exact same thing as you're describing. I'm sure it's hard to go to that first meeting, but they should really be able to help you out. It sounds like you're aware of your situation and know you need to do this already.

Here's a list of meetings in California:
http://www.gamblersanonymous.org/mtgdirCA.html

And you might want to send an email much like your post to:
isomain@gamblersanonymous.org

I think that's really your best choice.

Good luck with everything

DodgerBlues · Jul 31, 2006

I don't know how you guys gamble all the time and survive tough losses and not go crazy on your bankroll.

I am in deep shit. My wife is going to leave me, this will be the final straw.

Mr.NBA · Jul 31, 2006

Its tough dodger to give advice for several reasons. I dont know your relationshio with your wife.....dont know your credit score.....dont know whether you rent or own.....etc. etc. etc. but i do know this....

LOSING MONEY IS NOT THE END OF THE WORLD. Chalk it up as a bad investment.....it happens daily in all investment avenues, not just gambling. If you have a job and can pay for food and home for your family thats all you need my friend......everything else is bonus. As far as the EFT's go I would work something out with neteller.....something that is realistic. I am not going to tell to never gamble again because thats not realistic either......

GL,

MN

goodcall · Jul 31, 2006

Dodger Blues said:
I don't know how you guys gamble all the time and survive tough losses and not go crazy on your bankroll.

I am in deep shit. My wife is going to leave me, this will be the final straw.

Obviously I don't know anything about your relationship with your wife, but if you get help (soon!) by going to GA or something, it might help her realize you're fixing things and that it won't happen again.

RickA · Jul 31, 2006

DB,

Get to GA and work the program. You will find out that you are not the only one going through this, and will hear from people that have survived much worse.

Rick

Dreamer · Jul 31, 2006

mike go to close friends and family and borrow what you need to clean this major fuck-up up. then get an extra job and pay these people back in a timely manner. if the wife has to find out ,sit her down in a calm fashion and explain you weere EXTREMELY STUPID and will never do this again. at this point all you can do is recognize,correct, and move on in a positive manner.if you don't think you can get a grip on your own then by all means go to g.a. for help. you will find others like yourself and get assistance. you mentioned kids, bro i am sure you will agree betting on sports is no where near losing your family over! it will be hard at first but get easier as you progress. you will also find your quality of life will improve without the pressures of losing beating you down.take control of your life now and get this mess behind you. ipromise life will get good again as you move forward and put this dark time behind you god bless

passingthewind · Jul 31, 2006

Dodger dont be the first to think that none of the posters here have gone through or still go through what you do. If they say they dont they are full of it, at least you admit it. There is no perfect world in gambling where things happen and you feel like the end is coming.

gynecologist · Jul 31, 2006

Tell her you have learned from your mistakes and you will never gamble
again. Be Honest. I wish you luck bro.

Twenty Questions

1.Did you ever lose time from work or school due to gambling?
2.Has gambling ever made your home life unhappy?
3.Did gambling affect your reputation?
4.Have you ever felt remorse after gambling?
5.Did you ever gamble to get money with which to pay debts or otherwise solve financial difficulties?
6.Did gambling cause a decrease in your ambition or efficiency?

7.After losing did you feel you must return as soon as possible and win back your losses?
8.After a win did you have a strong urge to return and win more?
9.Did you often gamble until your last dollar was gone?
10.Did you ever borrow to finance your gambling?
11.Have you ever sold anything to finance gambling?

12.Were you reluctant to use "gambling money" for normal expenditures?
13.Did gambling make you careless of the welfare of yourself or your family?
14.Did you ever gamble longer than you had planned?
15.Have you ever gambled to escape worry or trouble?
16.Have you ever committed, or considered committing, an illegal act to finance gambling?
17.Did gambling cause you to have difficulty in sleeping?
18.Do arguments, disappointments or frustrations create within you an urge to gamble?
19.Did you ever have an urge to celebrate any good fortune by a few hours of gambling?
20.Have you ever considered self destruction or suicide as a result of your gambling?

Most compulsive gamblers will answer yes to at least seven of these questions

HarryCaray · Jul 31, 2006

I have been there with the insta-cash situation. Let them go through your bank. Your bank will most likely cover them, plus a $30 NSF charge per transaction. This will send your account WELL into the negative. I have been there trust me. You will have nothing to worry about from Neteller as your bank will most likely cover the transactions.
After the transactions go through your bank go in and talk to a customer rep. Explain to them you have a gambling problem, blah blah blah, a few tears probably wouldn't hurt. At this point (at least from my experience) they will most likely waive most if not all NSF fees. My bank waived over $400 of NSF and overdrawn balance fees. Whatever the remaining balance is they will set you up on a "charge-off." You will have to pay the balance down or it will remain on your credit report. The good thing is, at least in my case, they didn't charge a dime of interest. I could just go in whenever I wanted and pay whatever amount I could at the time. Took me about 8 months to pay them back all the way, but they were always really nice about everything and I felt like I was doing the right thing and controlling the situation.

Once you can get the bank paid off, open a savings account only. You can pay your bills by money order. This way you have NO way to fund an online book, unless you Western Union them or something, but I think you will be able to control yourself.

GL

NickPappagiorgio · Jul 31, 2006

If this is the final straw you get what you deserve. Shes obviously been through this with you before. You knew the consequences when you gambled so now be a man and take whatever comes your way.

Suicide is not the answer to this. Accept the consequences of your actions. If your wife leaves you, enjoy the time she lets you spend with your kids. If your wife and kids were important enough to you, you would not have let yourself get into this situation.

Going forward, stop gambling completely. That includes the lottery. Clean yourself up and pick up the pieces to your life. As bad as it seems now, you will be proud of yourself in years when you are back on your feet.

You are not the poster child to ban internet gambling, as a matter of fact, no one is. The fact that you are a moron should not affect us people that know how to set limits for ourselves and have our priorities straight. Why should I be punished for doing it right because you cant control yourself.

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