Latest Sign of the Apocalypse: Fishermen being DRUG TESTED WTF

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24 September 2006
EXCLUSIVE: PILLCHARDS
EXCLUSIVE Top anglers drug tested at fishing competition
By Simon Wright
TOP championship anglers were left shocked... after being asked to submit to drug tests.
Competitors at last week's World Angling Championships were told to give urine samples or face losing their prizes.
Astonishingly, the tests - which they all passed - were made because officials fear stimulants could give cheats an unfair advantage by sharpening their reflexes when they get a bite.
The regime is part of a move to bring angling up to Olympic standards ahead of a bid to make it an official sport.
But it caught anglers by surprise. Briton Sean Ashby, who came third in the individual competition and was part of the England team which won the overall event, said: "At first I thought it was a wind-up. There are one or two jokers in the pack and I was convinced someone was having a laugh. My first thought was, 'What drug could possibly help anyone catch more fish?'"
But, after his initial shock, the 39-year-old admitted he came round to the testing plan.​
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"I think it's a good thing," he added. "It gives the sport credibility because we are subject to the same anti-doping tests as other sports. At this level, we all take angling very seriously.

"We want it to be in the Olympics one day, so we have to fall in line with other sports.

"Speed of reflexes is very important and I suppose it would be possible for some drugs to help with that. When a fish starts to bite, you have to be quick to strike with your rod if you're going to end up catching it."

Experts suggest the use of amphetamines or cocaine could improve reaction times.

Angling is by far the most popular sport in Britain, with more than 10 million people regularly taking part. The top three fishermen at last week's world championships all passed their drug tests.

However, the tests did not go entirely smoothly and had to be carried out twice after the initial sample batch proved faulty. The anglers all passed a second time. "I know that most competitive anglers just drink water when they're fishing," said Sean. "There's too much at stake to take your eye off your float in order to eat."

A spokesman for the governing body, the National Federation of Anglers, said: "Many top anglers dedicate their lives to the sport. They travel the country every weekend competing in contests and they all welcome the onset of drug testing. It gives the sport a higher status."

Many top anglers are professional, earning a living by entering competitions with prizes of up to £500.

WHAT THEY MIGHT SAY..

Tuna in, turn on... drop out

Got any smackerel?

It's the drug squid

Is that a roach?

I'm hooked on lines

Fancy some seaweed?

Let's have an octopuff​
 

www.youtubecom/hubbardsmusic
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:missingte :missingte stay off the No-Doz and coffee boys!!!
 

I'm all about low expectations
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there goes my dream of becoming a professional fisherman... what's next, bowlers?
 

2009 RX Death Pool Champion
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gotta be from "the nations finest news source" the onoin! but funny as hell as is all of their stuff!
 

RX Senior
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Just wild.

whoever came up with the idea, needs to get a life.

Even if it is just tending to an ant farm, it would be a massive upgrade.
 

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Oct 16, 2005
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that's hilarious.

the fishermen don't make the connection - the fact that their sport is only adding drug testing for olympic compliance means that athletic enhancement brings no real advantages to the participants - that means it's NOT an olympic sport.

There's an interesting litmus test in the "is it a sport or not" debate...does doping help you out at it.
 

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The U.S. Dept. of Education is awarding 12 grants this year to School Districts willing to randomly drug test their high school student athletes.
They get a "puffer" machine that can detect drug residue on lockers, car doors, books, and anything else.
Sounds like a witch hunt, considering the abuses that could take place with technology like that.
Sure glad I grew up in a different era.
 

Respect My Steez
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Surpirsed it wasn't a test for other recreational drugs like marijuana....just because
 

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