STEVE BOSELL. MOST LITIGOUS MAN IN AMERICA
# His first lawsuit was against the County of Riverside for false advertising since their Chamber of Commerce brochures did not inform him about their hot weather so he wanted to get reimbursed for his $800 a month air conditioning bill.
# A lawsuit against the Parks and Recreation Department of the city of Riverside for putting a blue dye in their public pool that activated when one urinated in the pool. Steve was very embarrassed when he was caught urinating in the pool. As he left the pool after urinating, the blue evidence was everywhere. His whole family laughed at him.
# That same pool is being sued by Bozell because they had dive sticks in the pool and he was doing cannon ball dives into the pool. He landed on a dive stick and it went into his ass. he stepped out of the pool to the laughter of all the people there as the dive stick flopped around in the crack of his ass.
# NASA is another source of Bozell's litigation after it cancelled his trip on the space shuttle as an engineer. He had purchased a fancy helmet and wanted reimbursement.
# The company who built Steve's jacuzzi is also being sued because his wife April learned that she could use the jets to get sexual pleasure. This incensed Steve as he felt his marriage was in danger since April had found someone or something better than him!!
# Steve was a vegetarian and his wife and his best friend served him a meat meal as a joke. But Steve was eating jew jims because he thought that certain parts of a pig were kosher and therefore not meat!!!
# Steve Bosell (with a deeper Southern accent here) is filing suit against a hospital after they refuse him treatment and he's forced to amputate both of his arms and part of his own leg... with the plastic knife and spoon from his dinner plate.
# Steve is also suing a Civil War reenactment group because he did not know that the Confederates lost and that he would be killed in the reenactment. This was a cause of embarrassment to him in front of his family watching.
# He is suing AAMCO because he got scared during one of their radio commercials with the BEEP BEEP. He lost control of his car and ran in to a bus killing all the kids on the bus.
# Steve sued his neighbor one time for brandishing a shotgun at him. The neighbor was mad because he walked outside to find Steve hovering over and behind the neighbor's dog naked. Steve was mad that the dog was barking at him all the time and was using a technique to show the dog who was dominant. Steve thought the dog was "trying to ridicule him."
# Steve sued another neighbor that had a mynah bird. Every day as Steve came home from work, the mynah bird would make disparaging remarks to Steve. He was further harassed later when he started receiving threatening phone calls. He discovered after Star 69ing the calls that it was the mynah bird making the calls.
# A lawsuit against Britany Spears, Wango Tango and Rick Dees for alienation of marital affection. He was so turned on by young 16 year old Britany Spears that he was no longer turned on by his wife. He just fantasized about her big breasts and areolas. In fact, Steve could not even say breast, boobs,
, hogans or any word about breasts without stuttering.
# Steve sued his neighbor for taking video of him soiling his pants when he was scared to death on the golf course by a wandering coyote. He was particularly concerned when he saw a FEDEX truck pull up to his neighbor's to pick up the video for America's Funniest Home Videos.
# A lawsuit against a lumber company for failing to warn of dangers with their lumber. He was on a construction site, saw a pretty Asian girl get out of a Corvette and got turned on. So he grabbed a piece of lumber, WD40 and Paul's Plumbers Putty
and had relations with the board. To further the experience he twirled the board (simulating having sex with the Asian girl on a twirling love chair) and got splinters all over his privates. He felt the company should have had a warning on the lumber about this potential problem. And Paul's Plumbing Putty should warn its users that it is not a good lubricant for knothole sex!
# Steve once sued a friend of his, who is an airline captain, for putting a dildo wrapped in aluminum foil in his suitcase. Thus, when Steve went through security at LAX, the foil set off the detector and subsequently they pulled a dildo out of his suitcase. Of course everyone started laughing at him, which caused him to yell throughout the airport that the dildo wasn't his, and that he does not put dildo's up his butt. Obviously this created even more attention for Steve, and soon the whole terminal was laughing at him. Thus, he sued his friend for "making him look like a fool." (where have we heard that before?)
# Another lawsuit is pending against the phone company because Bozell feels the Star 69 feature is an invasion of his privacy since his ex-wife can use it to find out that his phone calls are coming from him.
# A while back Steve got sick and went to the bathroom to take his temperature anally. He did not want to wake his family so he left the lights off and did not realize that he was inserting a BIC pen up his ass.
# He is suing the Club company because his son started driving the car without realizing that the club must be removed before starting the car and crashed. Steve, as always feels there should be a warning label!
# He is suing the Corona library because he wanted to have a forum to explain that he was not gay which they all assumed that he was when he returned his wife's copy of The Bridges of Madison County. The librarian directed him to the gay section of the library and that made him cry.
# Steve Bozell sued a boating buddy last summer for making fun of him and encouraging laughter from Steve's wife and son. It seems it had taken boating safety a little too seriously. When his buddy got up to "dangerous speeds", Bozell got so scared he dove into the water screaming "We're going down!" This happened several times that afternoon. Later Phil determined the boat was only going five miles per hour!
# Shortly after Steve's mother's funeral, he sued the makers of the Furby toy. His daughter's Furby began to spout obscenities in the limo in which Bozell and his family were returning from the funeral. Steve figured that the Furby had chosen Steve's most vulnerable moment to taunt him. Amid the family's laughter, Steve wrestled with the Furby and tried to get it to shut up. He finally threw it out the car window.
# A Chinese restaurant is being sued for failing to warn Steve that their fortune cookies have a paper fortune in each cookie. Steve nearly choked to death not knowing there was paper inside the fortune cookie.
# Last winter Steve initiated a lawsuit against the California Highway Patrol. It took him three hours to go from Fontana to Northridge to a job site. Then on the way home he was pulled over for weaving. CHPs originally thought he was drunk. When he got out of the car, his pants were down exposing his manhood. Steve was both embarrassed and upset when the officer made comments to him like "what caliber is that thing?" As Phil questioned Steve further it seems that Steve "handles himself" when under stress. His stress was caused by his upset and concern about the recent unexpected departure of John and Ken from KFI drivetime. He had no idea what had happened and did not know if he would hear them again. He was very stressed and did this to relieve that stress. And of course the CHPs found the fact that he was doing this while Karel and Andrew (gay talk show hosts on LA's KFI radio station) were blaring on his radio very funny. Steve immediately called his lawyer.
# He is suing Erin Brockovitch for having a spontaneous emission when looking at a poster of her. He fainted right after seeing the poster and was made fun of by the paramedics who treated him for saying that he would need a change of pants.
# During a chili cook-off, Steve burned his rear end so bad he needed a donut to sit for a week after. He did not know chili could get that hot!! He wanted to sue the cook for public embarrassment, rectal bleeding and burning.
# Bozell wanted to sue Universal Studios in Los Angeles after he visited there on their special Halloween Fright Night. It seems that Steve soiled himself after a devil popped out and frightened him to death. All of his kids and their friends then made fun of him for the rest of the night. Steve seems to frighten easily.
# Steve is suing his neighbor, Roy Hutchins, for making fun of him for buying all these cases of KY Jelly which he had bought in anticipation of being raped by Road Warriors after the chaos of Y2K.
# Steve was embarrassed at Albertson's after he was arrested for shoplifting. He was taking stuff because he had heard the ad that said that Albertson's was his store so he thought all the stuff was his stuff.
# In early April, 2000 there was an article in USA Today saying that a study showed that men with ring fingers longer than their middle fingers were likely to be homosexual. While at work Steve was working on a door frame and a co-worker came by, saw that his ring finger was longer than his middle finger, and said "I'm surprised you have children. Read it and weep." and he tossed the newspaper at Steve. Steve frantically read through the paper until he found the article. When he read it he began crying. He was suing over embarrassment and sexual harassment. Though he said he wasn't homosexual, he said he might be because the article said he could be. If he was homosexual than it would be sexual harassment... but he isn't homosexual... but he might be.
# Prior to El Nino/La Nina arriving, there were dire warnings from the National Weather Service about the pending storms. Steve, always one to be prepared, went out and put a lot of money into storm proofing his roof. When the storms failed to materialize, Steve was furious he "had been duped" and wanted to get his money back so he was suing the National Weather Service. He even went so far as to have ads on LA Radio station KFI asking for others to join him in a class action law suit.
# Steve is suing Mattel because he was turned on by the new sexy Barbie which caused him embarrassment in front of his young daughter while they were at the store.
# On Mother's Day 2000 Steve took his family on a drive to Olivera Street in LA. While crossing the street, he was swept up in the Million Mom March. Further embarrassing him was the fact that a sign was thrust into his hands saying he was a mom opposed to guns. Steve was completely embarrassed as he is pro-gun. He marched with the group for three blocks until he was pulled out of the crowd by a security guard. On returning to his family, his kids made fun of him and were saying now they had two moms. Later that nite, April his wife started biting his nipples during love-making. Clearly, according to Bozell, she sees him as a woman since she has never done that before. April also mentioned he smelled like tuna. Later his kids painted his toe nails. He wants an apology from the organizers of the march or he will sue for a variety of reasons.
# Steve was terribly embarrassed on 5-22-2000 when he used the Andy Gump porta potty at his work site. He does not lock the Andy Gump because he was locked inside one once for several hours. This time he had his overalls down at his ankles and was bent over to pull them up when Cliff Pettigrew opened the Gump door exposing Bozell's ass to the world. To make matters worse, Cliff said,"Hey everyone. Bozell is showing us his ass. Look at the mo!!" (homosexual) Poor Steve then fell out of the portapotty and fell face first on the asphalt. Not only was he further embarrassed to tears but he severely burned the tip of his penis. His attorney Bill Blasingame is filing litigation against Pettigrew for public embarrassment and physical injury to Steve's member.
# Steve has now sued Oscar Meyer for the way they make their hot dogs. He had a BBQ for his family and employees over Memorial Day Weekend and was grilling Oscar Meyer hot dogs and bratwurst. He chomped down on a dog with mayonaisse and had mayo all over his face. One of his employees commented that it looked like he really liked dogs. Steve replied that he loved dogs. All the employees laughed because they thought Steve said he liked "dongs". As April, his wife, explained to him later, with the dog in his mouth and mayo all over his face he looked like he just took one in the face.So he called Oscar Meyer to suggest that they make hot dogs in another non-sexual shape like a loaf of bread. They hung up on him so he is suing them for his public embarrassment.
# Steve has been forced to sue again after having dinner at the Olive Garden in Corona last Saturday. He wears spurs as part of the Cowboy look he affects and came out of the bathroom with dirty toilet paper stuck to one of his spurs. The entire restaurant and his whole family were laughing hysterically. The busboy then asked Bozell if he was in intestinal distress. Ashely, Steve's four year old asked if Daddy had to go poo. April, his wife and his son, Steve Jr. were pounding the table and crying. Steve wants to sue the Olive Garden for the busboy's comments and the fact that they hung the paper hanger wrong. He wants to sue his wife and older kid. And he wants to sue Charmin because if their toilet paper were truly as soft as they say it is it would not have stuck to him.
# Steve recently threw a party for his friends. He went out and installed over $8,000 worth of sprinkler systems which he had bought at COSTCO. His idea was to have the party goers run through the sprinklers as he had as a child. He also served soft drinks and not liquor because he is a recovering alcoholic. He even had one female party goer get spreadeagle under one of the noodle pop up sprinklers because as he told her, "It always made me feel good as a child." His neighbor Roy leaned over the fence and told all his guests to come over to Roy's because Roy had liquor and a real pool to cool off in. All the guests took Roy up on his offer. So Steve has talked to his attorney, William Blasingame and is suing his neighbor Roy for alienation of affection of his guests. He is also suing COSTCO for failing to place a warning on their irrigation systems saying that it would flop at an adult party without liquor.
# Steve was suing New Line Cinema who made the movieBoogie Nights Steve was shocked by Mark Wahlberg's unit size and was later shocked to realize that it was a prosthetic. So he was suing New Line Cinema for not putting in a disclaimer on Wahlberg and his Johnson.
# Steve Bozell is thinking about suing Quentin Tarantino for reckless endangerment and alienation of affections over his movie Reservoir Dogs. Steve was lying around the house without pants on while he was watching the movie and saw a scene where a woman crazy-glued a man's penis to his stomach. Steve claims some kind of backward masking or subliminal message in the movie caused him to superglue his penis to his stomach. His wife came home, saw what happened, laughed and told the children, "You need to go next door to the Hutchins, I have to take Elmer to the emergency room". He was humiliated! While at the emergency room, Steve saw an attractive nurse which caused severe discomfort and inflammation, and his penis expanded exponentially; this created discomfort and jokes from the doctor. The doctor said, "Interesting choice of lubricant sir". He was humiliated! He also wants to sue the makers of Crazy Glue for not having a warning telling not to glue your penis to your stomach and the doctor at the emergency room.
# Steve as (owner of B & B Construction) is suing Pettigrew New Home Concepts (owned by a former employee) for $15 million, for alienation of affections (the white employees affections for Steve and from his wife because he won't make enough money to take her to Tahiti), tortuous business practices, and he's looking for a restraining order to prevent Pettigrew from having a job within 2 blocks of a B & B job. Pettigrew hires really good Mexicans and Steve hires white employees - Pettigrew's team gets paid the same, but gets the job done faster and better, not to mention a longer lunch break. Pettigrew told his employees in Spanish, "We're gonna put that monkey out of business". The Mexican's don't even take their shirts off because they can stand the sun, and that makes Steve's white employees feel bad! As an aside, Steve gets so upset Phil is complementing other callers he tries to kill himself by swallowing a handful of tranquilizers!
# Steve is ponderng a lawsuit against both Cliff Pettigrew, his construction foreman and Men In Touch with Men, a men's support group for public embarrassment and possible loss of business. Steve went out to a bar with Pettigrew and later went with him to what he thought was a party. It was mostly men at someone's house. The men were telling stories and crying and beating drums. Later they even were shaving their pubic area. Steve was moved by the group and took part in all the activities. Then Steve realized that the caterer of the party was one of his clients whose wife is a big blabbermouth. Steve now fears that his attendance and behavior at this party will be featured in the Orange County register. This would cause great damage to Steve and his company B&B Construction of Corona.
# Steve Bozell wore a new pair of plastic and leather pants to a Bon Jovi concert, where he bent over and the back of his leather pants split from beneath the belt to the zipper (under the bulge-scrotal area) Steve's ass and genitalia were exposed! People pointed and laughed! Steve is considering suing Jeans Discount Pleather (where he bought the jeans), his marriage counselor, Bon Jovi and his wife! Says his wife; "I don't want to have sex with you cause I've had to stare at your junk all night and it's shriveled up because of the cold".
# Steve went and saw the movie, Pearl Harbor, but was humiliated to find out, after giving the movie a standing ovation during the closing credits, that the main characters were fictional. He was called a "dumbass" by both Craig Taylor, another patron of the twinplex in banning, and the theater manager, all in front of Steve's son. Steve is suing Pearl Harbor film makers, Craig Taylor, the Banning Cineplex (with over two fine movie screens to serve you) and Ben Afleck, all for public humiliation.
# With the onset of war in Afghanistan, Steve had to sue two friends and their wives. They came to his house for a dinner party with deep tans. Steve views their "darkening up" as unpatriotic and frightening. In his lawsuit, Steve claims "torturous interference with the ability to achieve rational thought", "extreme emotional anguish by presenting the possibility of being Arabian" and "profound mental rape for ridiculing and demeaning [steve]." He also wants tanning salons shut down during the war in Afghanistan. In a related incident, Steve was charged with domestic battery for inadvertantly hitting his wife while trying to wrestle cocoa butter away from her.
# Steve Bozell had a problem at a security gate at Los Angeles Airport. He was wearing star shaped sunglasses, a hat with ostrich feathers, a pink bandanna (that belonged to Roy Rogers), a $2,000 pair of lambskin dress riders, boots with spurs on them. The spurs set off the metal detector. A guard gave Steve a hand pat down, Steve got an erection, Steve turned to the side and one of the security men said, "My God, you look like you're in the Village People". Steve panicked and ran for the bathroom, one of the security guards grabbed him, and Steve lost his mud! Of course, Delores Blasingme is suing for Steve again.
# When Steve Bosell got home on Friday, he was upset to find his neighbor Roy Hutchins having a barbeque and having his hot tub running on Good Friday. To make a point, Steve pushed barbed wire around his head and said to Roy, "I died on your cross so you could have your cookout." He then went into his garage and made a make-shift cross, nailed one of his daughters dolls on it and made it look like Jesus and splashed ketchup on the head and the hands, and he then raised it above the fence... and what did Roy do? He just put more butter on his corn. Roy then called the police and said that Steve was harassing him. And what do you know, Steve is suing as usual for public humilation.
# Steve Bosell says if you know Catholics or live around Catholics, you could be risk. Steve just found out that his neighbors the Hutchins were Catholic, and Steve contacted his attorney because he remember the last two times he's gone camping with Roy Hutchins, while sharing a tent, when he woke up in the morning, he was bleeding from his rectum, and he thinks Roy raped him! He also wants to sue Alta Deena dairy because maybe the cheese caused constipation which caused his rectal bleeding, hence they are responsible for product abuse because it made him bleed which made him think he was raped.
# Steve Bozell of Corona, CA discusses the War on Terror along with the recent terrorist warnings issued today by the FBI. Mr.Bozell feels that because of his wife and kids, he is a target for terror and therefore has decided to leave them behind and move to Norway until the FBI gives the "all clear." In addition, he has joined up with attorney Delores Blasingame and filed a legal claim against his wife April for pulling access to his checking account and for mental cruelty at the hands of a terrorist attack. Yes, there's nothing Steve is more afraid of than being "exploded" and he's willing to take any measure necessary to make sure he's not next!!
# His first lawsuit was against the County of Riverside for false advertising since their Chamber of Commerce brochures did not inform him about their hot weather so he wanted to get reimbursed for his $800 a month air conditioning bill.
# A lawsuit against the Parks and Recreation Department of the city of Riverside for putting a blue dye in their public pool that activated when one urinated in the pool. Steve was very embarrassed when he was caught urinating in the pool. As he left the pool after urinating, the blue evidence was everywhere. His whole family laughed at him.
# That same pool is being sued by Bozell because they had dive sticks in the pool and he was doing cannon ball dives into the pool. He landed on a dive stick and it went into his ass. he stepped out of the pool to the laughter of all the people there as the dive stick flopped around in the crack of his ass.
# NASA is another source of Bozell's litigation after it cancelled his trip on the space shuttle as an engineer. He had purchased a fancy helmet and wanted reimbursement.
# The company who built Steve's jacuzzi is also being sued because his wife April learned that she could use the jets to get sexual pleasure. This incensed Steve as he felt his marriage was in danger since April had found someone or something better than him!!
# Steve was a vegetarian and his wife and his best friend served him a meat meal as a joke. But Steve was eating jew jims because he thought that certain parts of a pig were kosher and therefore not meat!!!
# Steve Bosell (with a deeper Southern accent here) is filing suit against a hospital after they refuse him treatment and he's forced to amputate both of his arms and part of his own leg... with the plastic knife and spoon from his dinner plate.
# Steve is also suing a Civil War reenactment group because he did not know that the Confederates lost and that he would be killed in the reenactment. This was a cause of embarrassment to him in front of his family watching.
# He is suing AAMCO because he got scared during one of their radio commercials with the BEEP BEEP. He lost control of his car and ran in to a bus killing all the kids on the bus.
# Steve sued his neighbor one time for brandishing a shotgun at him. The neighbor was mad because he walked outside to find Steve hovering over and behind the neighbor's dog naked. Steve was mad that the dog was barking at him all the time and was using a technique to show the dog who was dominant. Steve thought the dog was "trying to ridicule him."
# Steve sued another neighbor that had a mynah bird. Every day as Steve came home from work, the mynah bird would make disparaging remarks to Steve. He was further harassed later when he started receiving threatening phone calls. He discovered after Star 69ing the calls that it was the mynah bird making the calls.
# A lawsuit against Britany Spears, Wango Tango and Rick Dees for alienation of marital affection. He was so turned on by young 16 year old Britany Spears that he was no longer turned on by his wife. He just fantasized about her big breasts and areolas. In fact, Steve could not even say breast, boobs,
, hogans or any word about breasts without stuttering.# Steve sued his neighbor for taking video of him soiling his pants when he was scared to death on the golf course by a wandering coyote. He was particularly concerned when he saw a FEDEX truck pull up to his neighbor's to pick up the video for America's Funniest Home Videos.
# A lawsuit against a lumber company for failing to warn of dangers with their lumber. He was on a construction site, saw a pretty Asian girl get out of a Corvette and got turned on. So he grabbed a piece of lumber, WD40 and Paul's Plumbers Putty
and had relations with the board. To further the experience he twirled the board (simulating having sex with the Asian girl on a twirling love chair) and got splinters all over his privates. He felt the company should have had a warning on the lumber about this potential problem. And Paul's Plumbing Putty should warn its users that it is not a good lubricant for knothole sex!
# Steve once sued a friend of his, who is an airline captain, for putting a dildo wrapped in aluminum foil in his suitcase. Thus, when Steve went through security at LAX, the foil set off the detector and subsequently they pulled a dildo out of his suitcase. Of course everyone started laughing at him, which caused him to yell throughout the airport that the dildo wasn't his, and that he does not put dildo's up his butt. Obviously this created even more attention for Steve, and soon the whole terminal was laughing at him. Thus, he sued his friend for "making him look like a fool." (where have we heard that before?)
# Another lawsuit is pending against the phone company because Bozell feels the Star 69 feature is an invasion of his privacy since his ex-wife can use it to find out that his phone calls are coming from him.
# A while back Steve got sick and went to the bathroom to take his temperature anally. He did not want to wake his family so he left the lights off and did not realize that he was inserting a BIC pen up his ass.
# He is suing the Club company because his son started driving the car without realizing that the club must be removed before starting the car and crashed. Steve, as always feels there should be a warning label!
# He is suing the Corona library because he wanted to have a forum to explain that he was not gay which they all assumed that he was when he returned his wife's copy of The Bridges of Madison County. The librarian directed him to the gay section of the library and that made him cry.
# Steve Bozell sued a boating buddy last summer for making fun of him and encouraging laughter from Steve's wife and son. It seems it had taken boating safety a little too seriously. When his buddy got up to "dangerous speeds", Bozell got so scared he dove into the water screaming "We're going down!" This happened several times that afternoon. Later Phil determined the boat was only going five miles per hour!
# Shortly after Steve's mother's funeral, he sued the makers of the Furby toy. His daughter's Furby began to spout obscenities in the limo in which Bozell and his family were returning from the funeral. Steve figured that the Furby had chosen Steve's most vulnerable moment to taunt him. Amid the family's laughter, Steve wrestled with the Furby and tried to get it to shut up. He finally threw it out the car window.
# A Chinese restaurant is being sued for failing to warn Steve that their fortune cookies have a paper fortune in each cookie. Steve nearly choked to death not knowing there was paper inside the fortune cookie.
# Last winter Steve initiated a lawsuit against the California Highway Patrol. It took him three hours to go from Fontana to Northridge to a job site. Then on the way home he was pulled over for weaving. CHPs originally thought he was drunk. When he got out of the car, his pants were down exposing his manhood. Steve was both embarrassed and upset when the officer made comments to him like "what caliber is that thing?" As Phil questioned Steve further it seems that Steve "handles himself" when under stress. His stress was caused by his upset and concern about the recent unexpected departure of John and Ken from KFI drivetime. He had no idea what had happened and did not know if he would hear them again. He was very stressed and did this to relieve that stress. And of course the CHPs found the fact that he was doing this while Karel and Andrew (gay talk show hosts on LA's KFI radio station) were blaring on his radio very funny. Steve immediately called his lawyer.
# He is suing Erin Brockovitch for having a spontaneous emission when looking at a poster of her. He fainted right after seeing the poster and was made fun of by the paramedics who treated him for saying that he would need a change of pants.
# During a chili cook-off, Steve burned his rear end so bad he needed a donut to sit for a week after. He did not know chili could get that hot!! He wanted to sue the cook for public embarrassment, rectal bleeding and burning.
# Bozell wanted to sue Universal Studios in Los Angeles after he visited there on their special Halloween Fright Night. It seems that Steve soiled himself after a devil popped out and frightened him to death. All of his kids and their friends then made fun of him for the rest of the night. Steve seems to frighten easily.
# Steve is suing his neighbor, Roy Hutchins, for making fun of him for buying all these cases of KY Jelly which he had bought in anticipation of being raped by Road Warriors after the chaos of Y2K.
# Steve was embarrassed at Albertson's after he was arrested for shoplifting. He was taking stuff because he had heard the ad that said that Albertson's was his store so he thought all the stuff was his stuff.
# In early April, 2000 there was an article in USA Today saying that a study showed that men with ring fingers longer than their middle fingers were likely to be homosexual. While at work Steve was working on a door frame and a co-worker came by, saw that his ring finger was longer than his middle finger, and said "I'm surprised you have children. Read it and weep." and he tossed the newspaper at Steve. Steve frantically read through the paper until he found the article. When he read it he began crying. He was suing over embarrassment and sexual harassment. Though he said he wasn't homosexual, he said he might be because the article said he could be. If he was homosexual than it would be sexual harassment... but he isn't homosexual... but he might be.
# Prior to El Nino/La Nina arriving, there were dire warnings from the National Weather Service about the pending storms. Steve, always one to be prepared, went out and put a lot of money into storm proofing his roof. When the storms failed to materialize, Steve was furious he "had been duped" and wanted to get his money back so he was suing the National Weather Service. He even went so far as to have ads on LA Radio station KFI asking for others to join him in a class action law suit.
# Steve is suing Mattel because he was turned on by the new sexy Barbie which caused him embarrassment in front of his young daughter while they were at the store.
# On Mother's Day 2000 Steve took his family on a drive to Olivera Street in LA. While crossing the street, he was swept up in the Million Mom March. Further embarrassing him was the fact that a sign was thrust into his hands saying he was a mom opposed to guns. Steve was completely embarrassed as he is pro-gun. He marched with the group for three blocks until he was pulled out of the crowd by a security guard. On returning to his family, his kids made fun of him and were saying now they had two moms. Later that nite, April his wife started biting his nipples during love-making. Clearly, according to Bozell, she sees him as a woman since she has never done that before. April also mentioned he smelled like tuna. Later his kids painted his toe nails. He wants an apology from the organizers of the march or he will sue for a variety of reasons.
# Steve was terribly embarrassed on 5-22-2000 when he used the Andy Gump porta potty at his work site. He does not lock the Andy Gump because he was locked inside one once for several hours. This time he had his overalls down at his ankles and was bent over to pull them up when Cliff Pettigrew opened the Gump door exposing Bozell's ass to the world. To make matters worse, Cliff said,"Hey everyone. Bozell is showing us his ass. Look at the mo!!" (homosexual) Poor Steve then fell out of the portapotty and fell face first on the asphalt. Not only was he further embarrassed to tears but he severely burned the tip of his penis. His attorney Bill Blasingame is filing litigation against Pettigrew for public embarrassment and physical injury to Steve's member.
# Steve has now sued Oscar Meyer for the way they make their hot dogs. He had a BBQ for his family and employees over Memorial Day Weekend and was grilling Oscar Meyer hot dogs and bratwurst. He chomped down on a dog with mayonaisse and had mayo all over his face. One of his employees commented that it looked like he really liked dogs. Steve replied that he loved dogs. All the employees laughed because they thought Steve said he liked "dongs". As April, his wife, explained to him later, with the dog in his mouth and mayo all over his face he looked like he just took one in the face.So he called Oscar Meyer to suggest that they make hot dogs in another non-sexual shape like a loaf of bread. They hung up on him so he is suing them for his public embarrassment.
# Steve has been forced to sue again after having dinner at the Olive Garden in Corona last Saturday. He wears spurs as part of the Cowboy look he affects and came out of the bathroom with dirty toilet paper stuck to one of his spurs. The entire restaurant and his whole family were laughing hysterically. The busboy then asked Bozell if he was in intestinal distress. Ashely, Steve's four year old asked if Daddy had to go poo. April, his wife and his son, Steve Jr. were pounding the table and crying. Steve wants to sue the Olive Garden for the busboy's comments and the fact that they hung the paper hanger wrong. He wants to sue his wife and older kid. And he wants to sue Charmin because if their toilet paper were truly as soft as they say it is it would not have stuck to him.
# Steve recently threw a party for his friends. He went out and installed over $8,000 worth of sprinkler systems which he had bought at COSTCO. His idea was to have the party goers run through the sprinklers as he had as a child. He also served soft drinks and not liquor because he is a recovering alcoholic. He even had one female party goer get spreadeagle under one of the noodle pop up sprinklers because as he told her, "It always made me feel good as a child." His neighbor Roy leaned over the fence and told all his guests to come over to Roy's because Roy had liquor and a real pool to cool off in. All the guests took Roy up on his offer. So Steve has talked to his attorney, William Blasingame and is suing his neighbor Roy for alienation of affection of his guests. He is also suing COSTCO for failing to place a warning on their irrigation systems saying that it would flop at an adult party without liquor.
# Steve was suing New Line Cinema who made the movieBoogie Nights Steve was shocked by Mark Wahlberg's unit size and was later shocked to realize that it was a prosthetic. So he was suing New Line Cinema for not putting in a disclaimer on Wahlberg and his Johnson.
# Steve Bozell is thinking about suing Quentin Tarantino for reckless endangerment and alienation of affections over his movie Reservoir Dogs. Steve was lying around the house without pants on while he was watching the movie and saw a scene where a woman crazy-glued a man's penis to his stomach. Steve claims some kind of backward masking or subliminal message in the movie caused him to superglue his penis to his stomach. His wife came home, saw what happened, laughed and told the children, "You need to go next door to the Hutchins, I have to take Elmer to the emergency room". He was humiliated! While at the emergency room, Steve saw an attractive nurse which caused severe discomfort and inflammation, and his penis expanded exponentially; this created discomfort and jokes from the doctor. The doctor said, "Interesting choice of lubricant sir". He was humiliated! He also wants to sue the makers of Crazy Glue for not having a warning telling not to glue your penis to your stomach and the doctor at the emergency room.
# Steve as (owner of B & B Construction) is suing Pettigrew New Home Concepts (owned by a former employee) for $15 million, for alienation of affections (the white employees affections for Steve and from his wife because he won't make enough money to take her to Tahiti), tortuous business practices, and he's looking for a restraining order to prevent Pettigrew from having a job within 2 blocks of a B & B job. Pettigrew hires really good Mexicans and Steve hires white employees - Pettigrew's team gets paid the same, but gets the job done faster and better, not to mention a longer lunch break. Pettigrew told his employees in Spanish, "We're gonna put that monkey out of business". The Mexican's don't even take their shirts off because they can stand the sun, and that makes Steve's white employees feel bad! As an aside, Steve gets so upset Phil is complementing other callers he tries to kill himself by swallowing a handful of tranquilizers!
# Steve is ponderng a lawsuit against both Cliff Pettigrew, his construction foreman and Men In Touch with Men, a men's support group for public embarrassment and possible loss of business. Steve went out to a bar with Pettigrew and later went with him to what he thought was a party. It was mostly men at someone's house. The men were telling stories and crying and beating drums. Later they even were shaving their pubic area. Steve was moved by the group and took part in all the activities. Then Steve realized that the caterer of the party was one of his clients whose wife is a big blabbermouth. Steve now fears that his attendance and behavior at this party will be featured in the Orange County register. This would cause great damage to Steve and his company B&B Construction of Corona.
# Steve Bozell wore a new pair of plastic and leather pants to a Bon Jovi concert, where he bent over and the back of his leather pants split from beneath the belt to the zipper (under the bulge-scrotal area) Steve's ass and genitalia were exposed! People pointed and laughed! Steve is considering suing Jeans Discount Pleather (where he bought the jeans), his marriage counselor, Bon Jovi and his wife! Says his wife; "I don't want to have sex with you cause I've had to stare at your junk all night and it's shriveled up because of the cold".
# Steve went and saw the movie, Pearl Harbor, but was humiliated to find out, after giving the movie a standing ovation during the closing credits, that the main characters were fictional. He was called a "dumbass" by both Craig Taylor, another patron of the twinplex in banning, and the theater manager, all in front of Steve's son. Steve is suing Pearl Harbor film makers, Craig Taylor, the Banning Cineplex (with over two fine movie screens to serve you) and Ben Afleck, all for public humiliation.
# With the onset of war in Afghanistan, Steve had to sue two friends and their wives. They came to his house for a dinner party with deep tans. Steve views their "darkening up" as unpatriotic and frightening. In his lawsuit, Steve claims "torturous interference with the ability to achieve rational thought", "extreme emotional anguish by presenting the possibility of being Arabian" and "profound mental rape for ridiculing and demeaning [steve]." He also wants tanning salons shut down during the war in Afghanistan. In a related incident, Steve was charged with domestic battery for inadvertantly hitting his wife while trying to wrestle cocoa butter away from her.
# Steve Bozell had a problem at a security gate at Los Angeles Airport. He was wearing star shaped sunglasses, a hat with ostrich feathers, a pink bandanna (that belonged to Roy Rogers), a $2,000 pair of lambskin dress riders, boots with spurs on them. The spurs set off the metal detector. A guard gave Steve a hand pat down, Steve got an erection, Steve turned to the side and one of the security men said, "My God, you look like you're in the Village People". Steve panicked and ran for the bathroom, one of the security guards grabbed him, and Steve lost his mud! Of course, Delores Blasingme is suing for Steve again.
# When Steve Bosell got home on Friday, he was upset to find his neighbor Roy Hutchins having a barbeque and having his hot tub running on Good Friday. To make a point, Steve pushed barbed wire around his head and said to Roy, "I died on your cross so you could have your cookout." He then went into his garage and made a make-shift cross, nailed one of his daughters dolls on it and made it look like Jesus and splashed ketchup on the head and the hands, and he then raised it above the fence... and what did Roy do? He just put more butter on his corn. Roy then called the police and said that Steve was harassing him. And what do you know, Steve is suing as usual for public humilation.
# Steve Bosell says if you know Catholics or live around Catholics, you could be risk. Steve just found out that his neighbors the Hutchins were Catholic, and Steve contacted his attorney because he remember the last two times he's gone camping with Roy Hutchins, while sharing a tent, when he woke up in the morning, he was bleeding from his rectum, and he thinks Roy raped him! He also wants to sue Alta Deena dairy because maybe the cheese caused constipation which caused his rectal bleeding, hence they are responsible for product abuse because it made him bleed which made him think he was raped.
# Steve Bozell of Corona, CA discusses the War on Terror along with the recent terrorist warnings issued today by the FBI. Mr.Bozell feels that because of his wife and kids, he is a target for terror and therefore has decided to leave them behind and move to Norway until the FBI gives the "all clear." In addition, he has joined up with attorney Delores Blasingame and filed a legal claim against his wife April for pulling access to his checking account and for mental cruelty at the hands of a terrorist attack. Yes, there's nothing Steve is more afraid of than being "exploded" and he's willing to take any measure necessary to make sure he's not next!!
STEVE BOSELL AGAIN
Duct Tape Lawsuit
Man Sues Tom Ridge Over Duct Tape Fears
Corona, CA IF. Tom Ridge's advice to Americans to stock up on duct tape and plastic has sparked a lawsuit which has been filed against him, the Department of Homeland Security and President George W. Bush.
Steven J. Bosell, the owner of B & B Construction in Corona, California, has filed a lawsuit claiming emotional distress, personal injury and sexual dysfunction after he wrapped his "privates" in duct tape to protect them from a biological attack.
"After watching Mr. Ridge on television advising us to stock up on duct tape and plastic, I went to the local Costco and bought $100 worth of duct tape to protect myself", Bosell said. "When I got home, I taped up my windows and doors. After I did that I realized if survivors like myself are going to reproduce and populate the Earth after a biological attack, we have to protect our privates as well."
Bosell claimed in his lawsuit he wrapped his "privates" in duct tape as test of "Homeland Security". When he tried to remove the tape, Bosell injured himself when the tape began peeling off skin and body hair. After calling an ambulance, Bosell was taken to the hospital where the doctors and nurses laughed at him.
"I told the doctors and nurses at the hospital if they laughed, I would file a lawsuit against them and the hospital. They laughed anyways and I now have another lawsuit pending" Bosell said with tears streaming down his face. "They went out their way to make me look like a fool. Once I saw the doctors scalpel go toward my privates, I totally lost it and blacked out."
Also named in the lawsuit is the President of the United States, George W. Bush. "President Bush is just as liable for injury to my reproductive future because he hired Mr. Ridge to run the Department of Homeland Security and Mr. Ridge gave the nation bad advice. They also make me look like a fool." Bosell sobbed.
The Department of Homeland Security and the Bush Administration have no comment on Mr. Bosell's lawsuit.
I truly believe this man was put on this earth to serve as an example of what can go wrong when someone born with no brain, can have access to the legal system.
Duct Tape Lawsuit
Man Sues Tom Ridge Over Duct Tape Fears
Corona, CA IF. Tom Ridge's advice to Americans to stock up on duct tape and plastic has sparked a lawsuit which has been filed against him, the Department of Homeland Security and President George W. Bush.
Steven J. Bosell, the owner of B & B Construction in Corona, California, has filed a lawsuit claiming emotional distress, personal injury and sexual dysfunction after he wrapped his "privates" in duct tape to protect them from a biological attack.
"After watching Mr. Ridge on television advising us to stock up on duct tape and plastic, I went to the local Costco and bought $100 worth of duct tape to protect myself", Bosell said. "When I got home, I taped up my windows and doors. After I did that I realized if survivors like myself are going to reproduce and populate the Earth after a biological attack, we have to protect our privates as well."
Bosell claimed in his lawsuit he wrapped his "privates" in duct tape as test of "Homeland Security". When he tried to remove the tape, Bosell injured himself when the tape began peeling off skin and body hair. After calling an ambulance, Bosell was taken to the hospital where the doctors and nurses laughed at him.
"I told the doctors and nurses at the hospital if they laughed, I would file a lawsuit against them and the hospital. They laughed anyways and I now have another lawsuit pending" Bosell said with tears streaming down his face. "They went out their way to make me look like a fool. Once I saw the doctors scalpel go toward my privates, I totally lost it and blacked out."
Also named in the lawsuit is the President of the United States, George W. Bush. "President Bush is just as liable for injury to my reproductive future because he hired Mr. Ridge to run the Department of Homeland Security and Mr. Ridge gave the nation bad advice. They also make me look like a fool." Bosell sobbed.
The Department of Homeland Security and the Bush Administration have no comment on Mr. Bosell's lawsuit.
I truly believe this man was put on this earth to serve as an example of what can go wrong when someone born with no brain, can have access to the legal system.
AGAIN
California Man sues CBS, Janet Jackson and Justin Timberlake
CORONA, CA (Corona Times) - A man is suing CBS, Janet Jackson and Justin Timberlake for an on-air incident involving the exposure of one of Ms. Jackson's breasts.
Steve Bosell of Corona, California has filed a lawsuit claiming that the incident left him physically ill, induced vomiting, psychologically scarred his children and has ruined sexual relations with his wife.
"I just couldn't believe what I saw during the Superbowl Halftime Show. How could CBS allow Justin Timberlake to expose one of Janet Jackson's breasts on the air?" Bosell said. "I had just eaten two foot long sub sandwiches, which I bought at the local Subway sandwich shop. When Janet's breast appeared on TV I became physically ill and vomited before I could even make it to the restroom".
According to the lawsuit, filed within hours of the incident by Riverside attorney Delores Blasingame, Mr. Bosell claims his children were psychologically scarred because they were first frightened and then laughed at him.
"My own children ran away from me screaming like I was some sort of puking boogeyman who was coming to get them. After I finished vomiting on the living room floor, the children realized I was in a weakened, pathetic state and began to laugh at me. I am now in the process of hiring psychiatrists for my children." Bosell said in a strained voice.
"Later in the evening, my wife refused to be intimate with me after I had cleaned up. When she finally agreed to be intimate and took her top off in the dim light of our bedroom, all I could see was Janet Jackson's big ugly breast with a metal star covering the nipple staring back at me. Then to top it off, I swear that it morphed into Michael Jackson's face! I suddenly realized I was still aroused with Michael's face staring back at me. At this point my manhood totally stopped working" Bosell said while breaking down sobbing. "I don't think I'll ever be able to get it up again!"
CBS and representatives for Janet Jackson and Justin Timberlake did not return calls regarding Mr. Bosell's lawsuit.
"I demand compensation because CBS, Janet Jackson and Justin Timberlake went absolutely out of their way to make me look like a fool" Mr. Bosell said. "I am asking other people to come foward and join my lawsuit against CBS, Janet Jackson and Justin Timberlake."
Mr. Bosell can be reached through his attorney Delores Blasingame at 1-800-449-8686.
Copyright 2004 - Corona Times
California Man sues CBS, Janet Jackson and Justin Timberlake
CORONA, CA (Corona Times) - A man is suing CBS, Janet Jackson and Justin Timberlake for an on-air incident involving the exposure of one of Ms. Jackson's breasts.
Steve Bosell of Corona, California has filed a lawsuit claiming that the incident left him physically ill, induced vomiting, psychologically scarred his children and has ruined sexual relations with his wife.
"I just couldn't believe what I saw during the Superbowl Halftime Show. How could CBS allow Justin Timberlake to expose one of Janet Jackson's breasts on the air?" Bosell said. "I had just eaten two foot long sub sandwiches, which I bought at the local Subway sandwich shop. When Janet's breast appeared on TV I became physically ill and vomited before I could even make it to the restroom".
According to the lawsuit, filed within hours of the incident by Riverside attorney Delores Blasingame, Mr. Bosell claims his children were psychologically scarred because they were first frightened and then laughed at him.
"My own children ran away from me screaming like I was some sort of puking boogeyman who was coming to get them. After I finished vomiting on the living room floor, the children realized I was in a weakened, pathetic state and began to laugh at me. I am now in the process of hiring psychiatrists for my children." Bosell said in a strained voice.
"Later in the evening, my wife refused to be intimate with me after I had cleaned up. When she finally agreed to be intimate and took her top off in the dim light of our bedroom, all I could see was Janet Jackson's big ugly breast with a metal star covering the nipple staring back at me. Then to top it off, I swear that it morphed into Michael Jackson's face! I suddenly realized I was still aroused with Michael's face staring back at me. At this point my manhood totally stopped working" Bosell said while breaking down sobbing. "I don't think I'll ever be able to get it up again!"
CBS and representatives for Janet Jackson and Justin Timberlake did not return calls regarding Mr. Bosell's lawsuit.
"I demand compensation because CBS, Janet Jackson and Justin Timberlake went absolutely out of their way to make me look like a fool" Mr. Bosell said. "I am asking other people to come foward and join my lawsuit against CBS, Janet Jackson and Justin Timberlake."
Mr. Bosell can be reached through his attorney Delores Blasingame at 1-800-449-8686.
Copyright 2004 - Corona Times
