CalvinTY..Please enter

Calvin,

ive been reading your threads for a while and always wanted to ask
what is it like being deaf in todays world?
i saw a few of your posts about using relay services for phonecalls, etc.
i now saw a thread about you and your g/f. is she deaf also?

you dont have to give me specific examples of your life directly if you don't want to..im just wondering in general what its like in todays world being deaf?

i dont have much contact with other deaf people around me to ask
what is it like going out to dinner just by yourself?
do they have special movie theatres for the deaf?

if you dont care to answer any of it thats fine too, im just sincerely curious

thanks for your time

ZZZZ, I was half-expecting some kind of teasing post on me esp when you said you'd post here in the RR, haha. I actually have to leave work now but will be happy to reply back to your questions as I know many are curious about this stuff.

I rarely come into RR only because I have more time at work and I avoid RR for obv reasons... during evenings, I end up being too busy making $$ to come down here, LOL. :thumbsup:

I'll be back later tonight.

* CalvinTy

CalvinTy said:

ZZZZ, I was half-expecting some kind of teasing post on me esp when you said you'd post here in the RR, haha. I actually have to leave work now but will be happy to reply back to your questions as I know many are curious about this stuff.

I rarely come into RR only because I have more time at work and I avoid RR for obv reasons... during evenings, I end up being too busy making $$ to come down here, LOL. :thumbsup:

I'll be back later tonight.

* CalvinTy

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haha
no im seriously interested in it

the government makes so many provisions for handicapped people, but you never really think much about how a deaf person goes through their day

even something like driving, etc

look forward to it, thanks

ZZZSpeedster said:

haha
no im seriously interested in it

the government makes so many provisions for handicapped people, but you never really think much about how a deaf person goes through their day

even something like driving, etc

look forward to it, thanks

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Maybe CalvinTy can be in his own Well Thread where we can ask him questions. Perhaps he would be too shy who knows?

quantumleap said:

Maybe CalvinTy can be in his own Well Thread where we can ask him questions. Perhaps he would be too shy who knows?

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I actually don't mind that idea... but I'd rather to pass the baton to other well-known posters first. (I still haven't gotten opportunity to read both Matt24 & Iceman's "The Well" threads yet).

I can always just answer the questions that ZZZZ did have for me. I just got home (again) after picking up my gf from school earlier so that I could play in theRX poker tourney at Stars at 10pm Eastern.

I'll actually answer the questions, I guess, sometime tomorrow since I believe the forum will be down from 10pm Eastern tonight for 4-5 hours. My answers shall come eventually, tho.

* CalvinTy

CalvinTy said:

I actually don't mind that idea... but I'd rather to pass the baton to other well-known posters first. (I still haven't gotten opportunity to read both Matt24 & Iceman's "The Well" threads yet).

I can always just answer the questions that ZZZZ did have for me. I just got home (again) after picking up my gf from school earlier so that I could play in theRX poker tourney at Stars at 10pm Eastern.

I'll actually answer the questions, I guess, sometime tomorrow since I believe the forum will be down from 10pm Eastern tonight for 4-5 hours. My answers shall come eventually, tho.

* CalvinTy

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cool
thanks

perhaps make a thread in the main section if you'd like
it would prob get a lot more views/discussion than down here

hno:

Alright, here I am, ready to answer your good questions. I'll try to keep my answers brief since I have a tendency to yak a bit.

Yes, my g/f is deaf as well. She can hear some, unlike me. She actually can use the phone a little (only to familiar voices) and loves music, especially Mariah Carey. I am practically deaf (the official word would be "profound deaf", I guess) as I can only hear loud sounds nearby. Though, most likely, the vibrations are what would make me aware of those sounds.

It's hard to answer "what's it like in today's world --being something--" whatever that something is, ya know? I mean, being black, brown, blind, deaf... they all have their own culture that it's hard to just describe. A rural-town person would leave a different live than someone who lives in the city all their lives, right?

But, no matter, let me mention a few things: as for movie theaters, many theaters nowadays have one of potential technological options: 1) open English subtitles in select theaters at specific viewing times that everyone will see, or 2) rear-view window thingy in newest theaters in where there is a gadget on the side/under the seat that would reflect words onto the gadget for deaf/alternative language readers to look at (I haven't experienced this particular approach yet, personally), or 3) simply wait for the DVD to come out to both save the costs of movie theater tickets & the need to go out to a public venue with 300+ people watching the same flick.

Really, about "government provisions", I'm not sure if you may be referring to the ADA (Americans with Disabilities Act of 1990) but while I don't pretend to know the innards of that law by heart, I could quickly point out a couple things. A big business who sets up a storefront but with only stairs leading into the store would be in violation of the ADA because it is not handicapping-accessible. Imagine a combat veteran in a wheelchair having to have someone push him up/pull him up in bouncy steps just to get into the store? That, along with many scenarios with the deaf, for instance, having the right to ask a hotel to provide "flashing lights" for the hotel room to be able to be alerted to --not ONLY the door but also to be alerted if there was a fire alarm going on--.

During the 1990's before the cellphones/pagers craze, the deaf used TTY's to communicate via phone with each other. It was a device with an alphabet keyboard where we would put the headset of a telephone onto the device, and the device would translate the signals coming through into text . Similar to Instant Messages these days online except that we had use d special codes to let the other person know it's now their turn (same idea with CB radio). During that time, being a teenager, I obviously wanted to chat with my deaf friends all hours, LOL. I was lucky that there was a subsidy where TTY users got a considerable discount from the phone companies because it was proven that it takes like uhh... 3 minutes of typing to equal to 1 minute of voice (or worse).

I'm sure I have missed many things to say but will stop for now for further questions, smiles.

P.S. Maybe if there are some more questions from posters, we can end up asking the mods to move this back to main forum, dunno.

Later,

* CalvinTy

Sorry CalvinTy, I know there are honorable questions that everyone wants to know but this question has to be asked: have you ever used a call center to talk dirty to your girlfriend? (Thinking about the previous thread on the topic.)

uppy:

I think I know the question but this will prevent others from asking it in the future.

OK, I promise I'll behave now.

Calvin

thanks for taking the time to answer

Is it impossible for the deaf to drive?

When you go out to eat dinner lets say..and if it were only you..What is it like to order dinner for yourself? Do the employees tend to help you out, or get "annoyed" with you?

How about in your home as far as a doorbell type device? Do you have some sort of light or signal that alers you to someone at your door?

It has to be difficult when dealing with anyone who is not deaf, or does not know sign language...which Im sure is 80%+ of the people you deal with out in public

Moved to Offshore at request of threadstarter ZZZ Speedster..




wil.

quantumleap said:

Sorry CalvinTy, I know there are honorable questions that everyone wants to know but this question has to be asked: have you ever used a call center to talk dirty to your girlfriend? (Thinking about the previous thread on the topic.)

uppy:

I think I know the question but this will prevent others from asking it in the future.

OK, I promise I'll behave now.

Click to expand...

Haha. Now that this is back to Offshore, we gotta behave here, LOL.

Really, just like many out there, I certianly have done my share of dirty conversations with the women in my past. Though, this was either via TTY (directly from me to the deaf girl on the other end) or via IM/emails in the past 10 years or so. I only use the relay service to make calls to hearing people as needed (nowadays, it's usually only to businesses, whether for customer support or whatnot).

I have heard quite a lot of stories about the relay service (we should think of them as interpreters because that's what they are, basically). One of my friends, he has a hearing wife and while he can talk on phone too, but if he's sick or something, he has to use relay to reach his wife. His cool wife says that sometimes it felt funny to hear a female operator relaying "I love you, bye bye" to her that's coming from her hubby! That's a G-rated version, evidently.

* CalvinTy

Cal,

where are you in VA? and how old are u? just curious

ZZZSpeedster said:

Calvin

thanks for taking the time to answer

Is it impossible for the deaf to drive?

When you go out to eat dinner lets say..and if it were only you..What is it like to order dinner for yourself? Do the employees tend to help you out, or get "annoyed" with you?

How about in your home as far as a doorbell type device? Do you have some sort of light or signal that alers you to someone at your door?

It has to be difficult when dealing with anyone who is not deaf, or does not know sign language...which Im sure is 80%+ of the people you deal with out in public

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Oh no, I definitely can drive as well as many other deaf people. Heck, I had a very long commute for years driving daily from MD to VA to work. I would drive 25K-30K miles a year; even now that I live in VA but still 30 miles away from work, I still drive 20K+ a year. I have been in accidents, but nothing to do with my failure to hear anything (once for sleeping and hitting a parked car on highway shoulder; other time, making left turn when I felt I had a lot of time before an oncoming vehicle going downwards would pass).

I don't go "out for dinner by myself" to restaurants, no thanks. Just my personality as I prefer to go out for dinner with friends or even just 1 friend... if I want dinner by myself, I simply get food at the usual fast food joints or simply make myself dinner at home, etc. But I believe your question is more of how the restaurants deal with me & other deaf people... to answer that, yes, sometimes they feel awkward and fumble around for paper & pencil when I gesture for wanting paper & pencil at fast food places. Writing it down (even if I can lipread quite well depending on EACH person) is best for me so there's no more confusion of what I want to order. As for restaurants with menu, just this past weekend, my g/f and I went out for a very nice dinner at an Italian place very near my place & it was a breeze as I simply pointed to the menu on what my g/f wants as she would tell me (yes, I can order for my lady, ha, especially in that situation).

Yea, I do have a doorbell alert device called Alertmaster that would tell me who's at the door as well as any loud noises coming around; I also use the vibrator part as my alarm clock/alerting.

I understand that some people do know SOME sign language but without any practice, they lose touch with remembering those. I already forgot a lot of French after years of not writing French since my college days so I understand that for most, they don't know how to best communicate... that's why writing and typing often is best approach.

It can be a challenge in public venues like bars or sporting events where I'd love to really communicate with others but not the type of situation where I wanna to have paper & pen to chit-chat through that, ya know? I then try to make best of it by either talking slowly and hoping people understand me (my coworkers understand me just fine, I mean, 80-90% of time... mainly because they are used to my voice).

* CalvinTy

Dsethi said:

Cal,

where are you in VA? and how old are u? just curious

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I live in Leesburg and work in the Skyline area between Falls Church & Alexandria (Bailey's Crossroads).

I already told Raj that I am looking forward to checking out Champps in Reston for the March Madness stuff. I prolly will be not want to burn my saved hours at work on that (since I got sick a few times this winter already), so I might be there for the night games instead.

Oh, sometimes I don't even know my age but I am 31, a late bloomer in many ways, ha. Tho, finished college & got a job in the IT field 8 years ago and am still plugging away with the same company after 2 position changes (transfer of location & promotion).

* CalvinTy

sounds good, man

Dsethi said:

sounds good, man

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no pun intended?

uppy:

ZZZSpeedster said:

no pun intended?

uppy:

Click to expand...

haha wow, that didn't even cross my mind...my fault

Dsethi said:

haha wow, that didn't even cross my mind...my fault

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Haha. I had to laugh at that one.

I didn't realize it either but I would not 'bother' to use this phrase, "I hope to hear from you soon" to someone. I dunno what I'd say instead but when I think about it, I think on IM's, friends would say "see you around".

Interesting how even sometimes there are little things that we do but don't realize how it can be fascinating to others.

One more tidbit that I gotta share: when you are in an elevator with just 1 other person, I find myself having to be near the corner of the elevator so that I can have a broad view inside the elevator. Reason: I'm serious but it's like 30%-50% of time, especially women of any age, they feel the need to talk out of blue. When I see them move their head out of the corner of my eye & realize they're trying to start up a 5-second chat, LOL, I then have to gesture, "I can't hear... I lipread". I could speak those words out loud, but that usually makes them talk too quickly thinking I can understand them perfectly while their words go over my head!

Most of time, that makes them sheepish and embarrassed (when they realize they had started a convo with a deaf person) but sometimes they do continue & repeat what they had in mind to bring up. No problems either way, but simply fascinating how I need to stand in right place in elevator to even know if someone is trying to talk to me.

* CalvinTy

CalvinTy said:

Haha. I had to laugh at that one.

I didn't realize it either but I would not 'bother' to use this phrase, "I hope to hear from you soon" to someone. I dunno what I'd say instead but when I think about it, I think on IM's, friends would say "see you around".

Interesting how even sometimes there are little things that we do but don't realize how it can be fascinating to others.

One more tidbit that I gotta share: when you are in an elevator with just 1 other person, I find myself having to be near the corner of the elevator so that I can have a broad view inside the elevator. Reason: I'm serious but it's like 30%-50% of time, especially women of any age, they feel the need to talk out of blue. When I see them move their head out of the corner of my eye & realize they're trying to start up a 5-second chat, LOL, I then have to gesture, "I can't hear... I lipread". I could speak those words out loud, but that usually makes them talk too quickly thinking I can understand them perfectly while their words go over my head!

Most of time, that makes them sheepish and embarrassed (when they realize they had started a convo with a deaf person) but sometimes they do continue & repeat what they had in mind to bring up. No problems either way, but simply fascinating how I need to stand in right place in elevator to even know if someone is trying to talk to me.

* CalvinTy

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from reading your replies, it doesnt seem as "bad or hard" as I would think it would be for a deaf person
Its just something that intrigues me because it's not something you run into often. It's not a matter of wanting to get into your private business, but more of a general sense.

I would have to think the hardest part is what you described. being in a confined place with someone who is trying to talk to you. i bet you more times than you know you've been in a mall or some other area where people may be trying to grab your attention by yelling to you, and you are none the wiser that its happening

the movie was just one idea that popped up that we probably take advantage of..im sure there are other daily scenarios that you come across which are different for you, but YOU dont FIND different because its what you are used to

it sounds like in general tho people are sympathetic to your needs and dont really make you feel weird. overall especially being in the low 30's in age you're very used to it by now

im sure its also nice to be able to read lips, a lot of us would like to be able to do so!

Cal,

how good can you lipread and whenever you go out did you ever just intercept people's conversations by looking at their lips, even though they weren't talking to you