Adult children living at home?

mr21 · Mar 30, 2007

What is everyone's opinion on adults (mid-20s and older) that still live at home with their parents?

Many of my co-workers, in their late 20s and 30s, still live with their parents despite making over $50K-60K/year. I know that's not a huge salary but it should be enough to rent an apartment with a roommate or two.

I think they are pathetic because they would rather spend their money leasing a BMW, shopping, and traveling than being independent. I wouldn't be surprised if they also had a ton of credit card debt trying to live a lifestyle they can't afford. Coincidentally, they are all pretty immature for their age.

Talk about being selfish bastards who don't care that their parents have already done their job in raising them and should be able to finally enjoy some privacy in their lives. The parents also have to be given some blame for allowing this situation to develop.

I love my kids but there is no way they will be living with us past the age of 22-23. It's for their own good to struggle a little when trying to establish yourself.

WVU · Mar 30, 2007

Where the hell do you work?

Kruser6 · Mar 30, 2007

WVU said:
Where the hell do you work?

Chuck E Cheese or Toys R Us?

Dante · Mar 30, 2007

I love my son alot

but when he turns 18 in about 6 yrs I hope he wants to leave the house, if not I have done something wrong in bringing him up

Kruser6 · Mar 30, 2007

Dante said:
I love my son alot

but when he turns 18 in about 6 yrs I hope he wants to leave the house, if not I have done something wrong in bringing him up

18? Wow, rough dad.

TomBrady#1 · Mar 30, 2007

ALways an interesting topic. Most believe to get out and be an adult. I do not and think if you are a close family and have other factors that help...then it is fine to live at home and build your future. I am in the minority here though.

mr21 · Mar 30, 2007

WVU said:
Where the hell do you work?

local gov't agency (non law enforcement)

TheFalls · Mar 30, 2007

Most college grads return home after graduation until they get there feet on the ground and the job thing going...I know I did.

The home you grow up in should always be looked at as a safe haven if things ever get tough..but not for those reasons above.

bulldogboogers · Mar 30, 2007

if the parents don't mind, why not let the kids stay with them as long as they want !! just hope the parents are smart and make the kids chip in for food & rent. i have a 72 year old mom that stays with my wife & i she had a stroke about 6 years ago.... she can't walk or talk.....but understands everything and she still watches alot of tv. was considering having her put into an old folks home and let them take care of her, but the care that she needs would cost almost 5 thousand a month, so thats whys shes with us, just trying to save that $$$$$ ya know what i mean ??? sometimes i am glad she can't talk !!! otherwise i think sometimes she would drive me crazy !!!:discuss:

gtc08 · Mar 30, 2007

mr21 said:
What is everyone's opinion on adults (mid-20s and older) that still live at home with their parents?

Many of my co-workers, in their late 20s and 30s, still live with their parents despite making over $50K-60K/year. I know that's not a huge salary but it should be enough to rent an apartment with a roommate or two.

I think they are pathetic because they would rather spend their money leasing a BMW, shopping, and traveling than being independent. I wouldn't be surprised if they also had a ton of credit card debt trying to live a lifestyle they can't afford. Coincidentally, they are all pretty immature for their age.

Talk about being selfish bastards who don't care that their parents have already done their job in raising them and should be able to finally enjoy some privacy in their lives. The parents also have to be given some blame for allowing this situation to develop.

I love my kids but there is no way they will be living with us past the age of 22-23. It's for their own good to struggle a little when trying to establish yourself.

This same attitude is why the asians are ahead of us.

Polaris · Mar 30, 2007

I live at home.

Pretty much have to now the way I see it, someone has to take care of my mom and she is not getting younger.

I know a few people who live at home, give their parents some company, and lead independant lives. It helps that it is a big house that everyone stays out of each other space. Living at home does not make you a leech or dependant, especially if you're paying all the bills.

On the other hand, I also know people who do not live at home and are "independant", who occasionally ask for free $$$ money $$$ from their folks, to maintain their proud independance.

Then there are cases where it is just too expensive to live outside of your parents home.

If someone lives in a three or 5 bedroom house, then if he wants to go independant, should he/she get a couple of roommates in a one or two bedroom apartment. That's nuts I think. If you live in a big nice house in a good neighbourhood, there is no reason to move.

Lastly, the last group of people, usually when they do move out and be "independant", their folks buy them a house or condo or at least give them the down payment for it.

From what I have seen, it's no big deal.

fivestarjake · Mar 30, 2007

know what i struggled with an alcoholic vietnam father my entire childhood. been on my own since i was 15. been blessed with 2 wonderful babies. there is no fucking way i will allow those 2 to struggle like i did. evrything i have done since they were born is for their benefit in their lives and my future grandchildren. ive been teaching them the responsibilities of life and consequences on decisions they will have to make sooner or later. but should my babies falter in any way your damn straight my door will always be open to them.

RobFunk · Mar 30, 2007

Theres nothing wrong with it. I left home at 18 and had to go back for a little bit at 22 and then also at 24. To help me get back on my feet.

It depends on the familys culture and beliefs too.

Other times they just have a huge freaking house and like to share bills and enjoy each others company at dinner once in a while.

Many factors to consider.

wolfie_cr · Mar 30, 2007

my bro is 24 and is finishing college, he also works and pays a % of the bills of the house

in my opinion if the dad/mom is uncomfortable with him/her he should just tell ask him to go 'independent'

what is absolutely unaceptable to me is that they use it as a 'free dorm/laundry service/etc'

if you are making $ you should not get a free ride

bigtendominator · Mar 30, 2007

fivestarjake said:
know what i struggled with an alcoholic vietnam father my entire childhood. been on my own since i was 15. been blessed with 2 wonderful babies. there is no fucking way i will allow those 2 to struggle like i did. evrything i have done since they were born is for their benefit in their lives and my future grandchildren. ive been teaching them the responsibilities of life and consequences on decisions they will have to make sooner or later. but should my babies falter in any way your damn straight my door will always be open to them.

Couldn't agree with you more.

gtc08 · Mar 30, 2007

There is nothing wrong with staying with your family. Again, this is something I commend about other cultures and why we are the way they are now. Family values and morals have gone down the tube big time in this country.

Rawpimple · Mar 30, 2007

bulldogboogers said:
if the parents don't mind, why not let the kids stay with them as long as they want !! just hope the parents are smart and make the kids chip in for food & rent. i have a 72 year old mom that stays with my wife & i she had a stroke about 6 years ago.... she can't walk or talk.....but understands everything and she still watches alot of tv. was considering having her put into an old folks home and let them take care of her, but the care that she needs would cost almost 5 thousand a month, so thats whys shes with us, just trying to save that $$$$$ ya know what i mean ??? sometimes i am glad she can't talk !!! otherwise i think sometimes she would drive me crazy !!!:discuss:

Do you charge her room and board?:money8: :drink:

xpanda · Mar 30, 2007

I left home at 16. Can't even imagine spending my adult years with my parents every day. Now I am living with my grandparents (grandma is sick) and, to be quite honest, I hate the loss of freedom. So many limitations, so many things I can't do that I took for granted before.

If it's about saving money, I'd rather be broke than restricted.

mr21 · Mar 30, 2007

Thanks for the responses so far.

Just to clarify I'm not including health/disability issues because that's when family needs to be there for each other the most.

I'm just talking about adults that are too selfish/afraid to grow up and take responsibility for their own well-being.

I was in the military when I was 18-22 and then moved back home and started college. I couldn't stand losing my independence and freedom despite paying my parents for room/board. They had no rules or boundaries but I felt like shit about myself that I was living with my parents despite being an adult.

I moved out less than a year later and worked full-time while going to school full-time. It took me about an extra year to get my degree but I don't have any regrets.

Dante · Mar 30, 2007

fivestarjake said:
know what i struggled with an alcoholic vietnam father my entire childhood. been on my own since i was 15. been blessed with 2 wonderful babies. there is no fucking way i will allow those 2 to struggle like i did. evrything i have done since they were born is for their benefit in their lives and my future grandchildren. ive been teaching them the responsibilities of life and consequences on decisions they will have to make sooner or later. but should my babies falter in any way your damn straight my door will always be open to them.

great post Jake

but

I do not think krusers question was about if anyone's door would be open to there kids if they faltered .....when I posted if my son is 18 I hope he wants to leave to go out on his own he should want to test the world he only has ONE life

but of course my door is always open to him

of course it is and always will be it should be open for all children of a family to come home when needed