OT -How long should a person grieve over spouse dying before they start dating again?

Journeyman · Jun 15, 2007

I guess this is somewhat subjective, and would depend on many things...

A woman I know , age 34, has two kids (ages 4-8) had a husband pass away at age 34 from cancer, he battled the disease for close to a year, he died in January of 2007.

She says she's ready for 'chapter 2' as she puts it ...it seems early to me...what do you guys think? She also said she's not going to tell her family til she knows she's found someone....seems way too soon to me.

Antonioli · Jun 15, 2007

Journeyman said:
I guess this is somewhat subjective, and would depend on many things...

A woman I know , age 34, has two kids (ages 4-8) had a husband pass away at age 34 from cancer, he battled the disease for close to a year, he died in January of 2007.

She says she's ready for 'chapter 2' as she puts it ...it seems early to me...what do you guys think? She also said she's not going to tell her family til she knows she's found someone....seems way too soon to me.

good for her, the hardest thing is to let it go and if she's able to do that you should all be supportive

MrJ · Jun 15, 2007

IMO it's a personal thing, there is no right or wrong.

mr21 · Jun 15, 2007

I would hope my wife wouldn't hookup that soon if I kick the bucket

Journeyman · Jun 15, 2007

it's tough all the way around I guess...

I wasn't judging her, like mr21 said though, if I had a wife who said she had the perfect life and here it was just 6 months later...I dunno.

She says it feels way longer...maybe since the sickness was a year before .

She's a beautiful woman too.

Doug · Jun 15, 2007

has two kids (ages 4-8)

Stay far away !

Dubpoet · Jun 15, 2007

Doug said:
has two kids (ages 4-8)

Stay far away !

Unless she has a career!

Journeyman · Jun 15, 2007

Doug said:
has two kids (ages 4-8)

Stay far away !

What is it with you and kids Doug? :missingte Not all kids are monsters.

Salsa · Jun 15, 2007

Doesn't matter how long she waits, as long as she's not leap-frogging any steps in the grieving process:

1) initial shock sparks a flurry of emotions - anger, sadness, shock, disbelief. (may go on for several weeks)
2) after initial shock has worn off, then there's the overwhelming pain of loss (very important not to bottle up by "being strong for others"
3) the beginning of reminiscenscence, trying to re-experience past events, looking through photo albums, wearing the deceased's jewelry, etc.
4) signs of adjustment to living without the deceased; discussions of "starting over" and other talks of reinvesting in one's life
5 and 6) the bereaved begins letting go of "past roles and relationships" with the deceased; the past relationship is replaced with a new "memory" relationship; the bereaved begins to actively reinvest themselves in a "new world" and a life without their loved one.
7) the bereaved may be able to think and speak of the deceased person without pain; sadness will be felt, but the pain has subsided.

Dubpoet · Jun 15, 2007

Missing the snot/spit-up/diaper stage is a real bonus! Tap it! If she works keep her!

Journeyman · Jun 15, 2007

Dubpoet said:
Missing the snot/spit-up/diaper stage is a real bonus! Tap it! If she works keep her!

This is not that kind of situation :WTF:

Who said it was me? :missingte

gbogo · Jun 15, 2007

hopefully she meets someone she doesnt already know

one of my friends died and his brother in law in plane crash

a close friend of b/in law who died comforted her and helped her with the kids- now the 2 are kind of caught in this endless loop now

so her life is similar to when she lost her husband

a fresh person with not the same baggage/knowledge of the situation would have been much better

maxdemo · Jun 15, 2007

I think its more of a personlel thing...if she is ready then she is ready (only she knows for sure and you'll be able to tell after you make the 1st move on her )

buddyboy · Jun 15, 2007

what a bunch of homo's

sorry guys, maybe this room should be re-named "girl talk - For Fans of Oprah, The View and Nancy Grace"

how long should a women wait till she starts dating after her husband dies?

:youmad: ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME!!!!

Anonymous1 · Jun 15, 2007

mr21 said:
I would hope my wife wouldn't hookup that soon if I kick the bucket

You mean, when you kick the bucket...

steaktartar · Jun 15, 2007

week at least

raidermattk · Jun 15, 2007

Soon as the dirt hits the grave

Salsa · Jun 15, 2007

steak tartar said:
week at least

I say you can tap dat ass whenever you please. Free kuntry!

al_corona · Jun 15, 2007

jan 07 its been almost 6 months

remember the HARDEST part is the first month

My best friends girlfriends dad just died at age 57 from a brain anerism.

She is obviously devastated.. but she is gettin better already.. and this happened last friday.

mr21 · Jun 15, 2007

cheapseats said:
You mean, when you kick the bucket...

oh shit, you're right :nohead:

OT -How long should a person grieve over spouse dying before they start dating again?

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