After suffering through endless threads of the August and September Bashes, I can contain my silence no longer. I have to break the story that will rock the Rx. Unbeknownst to us "regular" posters, a clandestine group of Rx rebels staged their own bash, "the Our Ex Bash" yesterday in Laughlin, Nevada. Luckily, I was able to go undercover and get the scoop.
I arrived in this desert town by the river firmly in disguise so no one would know my own identity. Moseying up to the bar, I spy two beastly ogres who could generously be described as the offspring of sasquatch. I overhead "they had shootings here man, someone might kill themselves!" and I realize it is Skinsraj and DSethi. Since I had met them before, I was hesitant that they would recognize me in my Groucho Marx getup, but after offering up a ghost name and a "is your dad the Great Khali?" was satisfied that they did not discover my true identity.
Suddenly we were interrupted by loud, rude nonsensical noises from an Asian on top of the bar. "My blide will be heel soon, my blide will be heel soon!", he screamed. Once he calmed down, the beastly Indian twins grabbed him and our third "our exer" was introduced as Kimchee. He kept talking, but we ignored him and were startled when a large black woman and a short white male wearing full football uniform and a helmet with just one bar for a facemask sauntered up. "You DO look just like your avatar", the gridiron warrior said as he introduced himself to the rotund Timetopay as Whormoan and they joined the group. Off in the corner we noticed a quiet type dressed only in a white sheet. "Is Levistep going to join us?" raj asked?
Off to the afternoon and the annual "our exer" 4-on-4 basketball tournament. We headed to the courts only to see a pasty white kid in knee-high socks drilling three-pointer after three-pointer. Skins and Dsethi shared a chuckle as they realized it was THE MAN, themanej. He had mad skills draining 25 footer after 25 footer. Time to pick the teams and each captain picked three more to run with. Sadly, there were 9 Rxers present and no one picked themanej. The good news though is that Laurent Robinson and Randy Brown were playing on an adjacent court and theman hooped with them until the game was over. As for the game it was a blowout as former NBA player Blue Edwards dominated (notably Whormoan kept commenting "he looks JUST like his avatar") and the shirts beat the skins.
The group headed over to "Loser's Lounge" at the Riverside for the official "our ex" bash. Woofdaddy was already there in the corner muttering to himself something like "why won't this damn market tank already". He was joined at the table by his buddy Redeye, who looked a bit bleary for he had just come in on the red eye. That poster in the sheet who we assumed was Levistep just stood in the corner and wouldn't talk to anyone. Playersonly69 was busy chatting up a casino host about some obscure rule in one of their contest that he felt was unfair.
It was time for the drawings and money giveaways. Timetopay, acting as unofficial "our ex moderator" asked everyone to pull out their tickets. The first number was drawn and a couple from the back shouted gleefully that they won. The next number was drawn and the same man produced another ticket. This was done for all ten drawings and everyone looked on with envy as the same poster won every drawings. Among cries of rigged and fix, the cocky winner stumbled through the crowd and said "doesn't everyone win these?". I then glanced at the nametags that unmistakeably said "Mr Newlywed" and "Mrs Newlywed".
As people were drawn into small conversations Kimchee made his dramatic entrance. "My blide is heel, my blide is heel!". A hush went over the crowd when it was discovered that Kimchee's mail order bride was none other than beloved poster Mika. At that moment Gynecologist leapt up in excitement and said "free blow jobs for everyone". Out of the back of the room crept a pale white guy on his knees and he muttered "did someone call for me?". "Who the fuck are you?", smacked Joeyfitzclick in his unmistakeable Irish accent. "Isn't it obvious, I'm Levistep" said the boy on his knees.
Warning: Scooby-Doo ending upcoming
"Well if you're Levistep, then who is under the sheets?" said a large man with an orange Illini shirt covered in drool.
At that moment the sheet-clad mute poster removed his outer garments. Oohs and aahs were heard through the halls as standing before them with a Jack Wagner-esque face, chiseled guns and a lime green tank top was the mystery man.
"I am journeyman", he mumbled in his best Brendan Fraser "Encino Man" voice.
Stunned the silence was broken as Kimchee screamed out "Your not Journeyman, you are Carl you bastard". At that moment Mika broke free and ran to Journeyman/Carl and Kimchee was left with nothing but his own tears to console him. Skinsraj walked by to console him and left him some rope and a knife for later on.
THE END
Socc
I arrived in this desert town by the river firmly in disguise so no one would know my own identity. Moseying up to the bar, I spy two beastly ogres who could generously be described as the offspring of sasquatch. I overhead "they had shootings here man, someone might kill themselves!" and I realize it is Skinsraj and DSethi. Since I had met them before, I was hesitant that they would recognize me in my Groucho Marx getup, but after offering up a ghost name and a "is your dad the Great Khali?" was satisfied that they did not discover my true identity.
Suddenly we were interrupted by loud, rude nonsensical noises from an Asian on top of the bar. "My blide will be heel soon, my blide will be heel soon!", he screamed. Once he calmed down, the beastly Indian twins grabbed him and our third "our exer" was introduced as Kimchee. He kept talking, but we ignored him and were startled when a large black woman and a short white male wearing full football uniform and a helmet with just one bar for a facemask sauntered up. "You DO look just like your avatar", the gridiron warrior said as he introduced himself to the rotund Timetopay as Whormoan and they joined the group. Off in the corner we noticed a quiet type dressed only in a white sheet. "Is Levistep going to join us?" raj asked?
Off to the afternoon and the annual "our exer" 4-on-4 basketball tournament. We headed to the courts only to see a pasty white kid in knee-high socks drilling three-pointer after three-pointer. Skins and Dsethi shared a chuckle as they realized it was THE MAN, themanej. He had mad skills draining 25 footer after 25 footer. Time to pick the teams and each captain picked three more to run with. Sadly, there were 9 Rxers present and no one picked themanej. The good news though is that Laurent Robinson and Randy Brown were playing on an adjacent court and theman hooped with them until the game was over. As for the game it was a blowout as former NBA player Blue Edwards dominated (notably Whormoan kept commenting "he looks JUST like his avatar") and the shirts beat the skins.
The group headed over to "Loser's Lounge" at the Riverside for the official "our ex" bash. Woofdaddy was already there in the corner muttering to himself something like "why won't this damn market tank already". He was joined at the table by his buddy Redeye, who looked a bit bleary for he had just come in on the red eye. That poster in the sheet who we assumed was Levistep just stood in the corner and wouldn't talk to anyone. Playersonly69 was busy chatting up a casino host about some obscure rule in one of their contest that he felt was unfair.
It was time for the drawings and money giveaways. Timetopay, acting as unofficial "our ex moderator" asked everyone to pull out their tickets. The first number was drawn and a couple from the back shouted gleefully that they won. The next number was drawn and the same man produced another ticket. This was done for all ten drawings and everyone looked on with envy as the same poster won every drawings. Among cries of rigged and fix, the cocky winner stumbled through the crowd and said "doesn't everyone win these?". I then glanced at the nametags that unmistakeably said "Mr Newlywed" and "Mrs Newlywed".
As people were drawn into small conversations Kimchee made his dramatic entrance. "My blide is heel, my blide is heel!". A hush went over the crowd when it was discovered that Kimchee's mail order bride was none other than beloved poster Mika. At that moment Gynecologist leapt up in excitement and said "free blow jobs for everyone". Out of the back of the room crept a pale white guy on his knees and he muttered "did someone call for me?". "Who the fuck are you?", smacked Joeyfitzclick in his unmistakeable Irish accent. "Isn't it obvious, I'm Levistep" said the boy on his knees.
Warning: Scooby-Doo ending upcoming
"Well if you're Levistep, then who is under the sheets?" said a large man with an orange Illini shirt covered in drool.
At that moment the sheet-clad mute poster removed his outer garments. Oohs and aahs were heard through the halls as standing before them with a Jack Wagner-esque face, chiseled guns and a lime green tank top was the mystery man.
"I am journeyman", he mumbled in his best Brendan Fraser "Encino Man" voice.
Stunned the silence was broken as Kimchee screamed out "Your not Journeyman, you are Carl you bastard". At that moment Mika broke free and ran to Journeyman/Carl and Kimchee was left with nothing but his own tears to console him. Skinsraj walked by to console him and left him some rope and a knife for later on.
THE END
Socc
hno:
