proper etiquette advice

flacapper · Oct 2, 2007

Someone explain this please......

Ok I moved from Connecticut to Florida 5 yrs ago.
Now every time there is a nephews birthday or niece or some wedding anniversary from my brothers wives I get an invitation to RSVP like im Trump or something hopping on planes for baptisms and stuff lol.
I have never said a word except to my wife about how dumb it is.
I mean its nice that they are thinking of me but this feels like a Seinfeld episode.
What do they want me to do actually call them and say I cant make it? All I do is crumble them up and go on with life.
I have always wanted to ask why they do this but never have.
Am I wrong here or is this just weird?

WVU · Oct 2, 2007

They don't necessarily expect you to show up, but I am sure they are hoping you will send a gift or a bit of cash

Hal01 · Oct 2, 2007

flacapper said:
Am I wrong here or is this just weird?

Both.

flacapper · Oct 2, 2007

WVU said:
They don't necessarily expect you to show up, but I am sure they are hoping you will send a gift or a bit of cash

I hear ya but I know their birthdays I dont need the fake invitation to know their birthdays.

BestPlay2day · Oct 2, 2007

I agree, they are just looking for you to send a birthday or anniversary card with cash. I would send something to your nieces & nephews (depends how many you have and if they send you cards and a gift for your kids) but not for a wedding anniversary unless it's your parents.

buddyboy · Oct 2, 2007

they are sending you those invites so they won't have to hear you bitch about not being invited.

sounds like your relatives are in a no win situation.

DonMelchor · Oct 2, 2007

that's because they'e expecting a number of people and they need to accommodate them , so it would be better if they actually knew how many people are gonna show up....

flacapper · Oct 2, 2007

buddyboy said:
they are sending you those invites so they won't have to hear you bitch about not being invited.

sounds like your relatives are in a no win situation.

Oh yeah I would bitch if I wasnt invited to their 3rd birthday nice try douche.

flacapper · Oct 2, 2007

Don Melchor said:
that's because they'e expecting a number of people and they need to accommodate them , so it would be better if they actually knew how many people are gonna show up....

Did you read the opening line? Im in Florida

DonMelchor · Oct 2, 2007

you could be in africa, still the same thing.....

Betallsports · Oct 2, 2007

It is proper etiquette to Respond to the Invite....

It doesn't matter if you are in CT. or Fl or Overseas !

They send them out more then Knowing some people will not make it, but it is the right thing to do.

All you need to do is reply to the Invite and asend a gift if you feel it is the right thing to do.

flacapper · Oct 2, 2007

Betallsports said:
It is proper etiquette to Respond to the Invite....

It doesn't matter if you are in CT. or Fl or Overseas !

They send them out more then Knowing some people will not make it, but it is the right thing to do.

All you need to do is reply to the Invite and asend a gift if you feel it is the right thing to do.

I send the gifts.
I am not sending back that invite of course im not going to the 3r birthday party im in Florida I cant jump on planes every time or id be there most of the year.
Am I wrong here this seems easy.

BigPIG19 · Oct 2, 2007

it is easy to be in you boat, because you were raised up north where most(notherners with etiquite do not jump on me) people are completely etiqute-free. I have spent many a summer in the New England area and they have absolutely no sense of etiquite. Quit being diffcult and respond the invitations so that the relative throwing the party will know how many people are going to be there. Is it that hard to be nice these days or are you so busy that you cannot make a 30 second phone call.

p.s. you are weird and wrong

Betallsports · Oct 2, 2007

flacapper said:
I send the gifts.
I am not sending back that invite of course im not going to the 3r birthday party im in Florida I cant jump on planes every time or id be there most of the year.
Am I wrong here this seems easy.

You are Only Half Wrong !! LOL

Why won't you RSVP ? The Gift is fine....and they most likely think you will NOT show up...But you did ask what is the Proper Etiquette..

patswin · Oct 2, 2007

Like others said they are probably sending you invites because they feel they should, not because they expect you to come. I'd tell them in a nice way that they don't have to send you invitations because you won't be attending so they can save the postage. I'm sure they'd be ok with that as long as you are.

flacapper · Oct 2, 2007

Ok got it thanks
Knew I could count on this board to find out whats up

fhmesq44 · Oct 2, 2007

More than likely they send the invites to the kids parties b/c you are a close family member and they want to include you (at least that is why I would send them). They may be searching for a gift, but that is less likely as most kids have far more stuff (whether toys or clothes) than they need to the parents want. Our immediate family is mainly close by, but we do send an invite to my sister and daughter's godfather who are all outside the area to assure they are included, not b/c we want or expect a gift. In fact, I would prefer she actually didn't send a gift.

They ask for RSVPs so they can figure out how many people will attend. It isn't specifically intended for you, but they also aren't printing up two separate sets of invitations.

I don't know why you would get notices of wedding anniversary unless they are having an anniversary party and you are invited. I have never heard of that.

Doug · Oct 2, 2007

Why don't email the invites to those that are unlikely to attend ?

buddyboy · Oct 2, 2007

Dear Family,

As you already know I moved far away. Yet for some reason you feel it necessary to include me in your unsolicited junk mail list.

What the hell are you people thinking? Here is a clue: I moved away from you.

Do you think I'm a retard? I remember things. I send your kids gifts and cards. Stop treating me like a baby. I am an adult and don't need reminded about birthdays and such.

Please remove me from your junk mail list.

Regards,

Clueless

P.S. Stop sending me all those stupid pictures via email, I know what you guys look like and it takes forever to download.

buddyboy · Oct 2, 2007

Dear Far Away Family Member,

We will be celebrating Uncle Jim and Aunt Flo's 50th Wedding anniversery. We assume you will not be attending.

Sorry if this notice has offended you, but Grandma insisted that we invite you.

Signed,

Your ungratefull cousin