joke to tell after stuffing your face and watching the Packers beat the Lions tomorrow....
>Top Four Adult Jokes
>
> Fourth Place:
>
> A man bumps into a woman in a hotel lobby and as he does, his elbow goes
>into her breast. They are both quite startled. The man turns to her and
>says, "Ma'am, if your heart is as soft as your breast, I know you'll
> forgive me." She replies,
> "If your penis is as hard as your elbow,
> I'm in room 221."
>-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
>
>Third Place:
>
> One night, as a couple lays down for bed, the husband starts rubbing
>his wife's arm.
>The wife turns over and says "I'm sorry honey, I've got a gynecologist
>appointment tomorrow and I want to stay fresh.
> "The husband, rejected, turns over.
>A few minutes later, he rolls back over and taps his wife again.
>"Do you have a dentist appointment tomorrow too?"
>------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
>
>Runner Up:
>
> Bill worked in a pickle factory. He had been employed there for a number
>of years when he came home one day to confess to his wife that he had a
>terrible compulsion. He had an urge to stick his penis into the pickle
>slicer. His wife suggested that he should see a sex therapist to talk
>about it, but Bill said he would be too embarrassed. He vowed to overcome
>the compulsion on his own.
>
>One day a few weeks later ,
>Bill came home and his wife could see at once that something was seriously
>wrong.
> W hat's wrong, Bill?" she asked.
>"Do you remember that I told you how I had this tremendous urge to put my
>penis into the pickle slicer?"
> Oh, Bill, you didn't" she exclaimed.
> Yes, I did." he replied.
> My God, Bill, what happened?"
> "I got fired."
>"No, Bill. I mean, what happened with the pickle slicer?"
>"Oh...she got fired too."
>-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
>Winner:
>
> A couple had been married for 50 years. They were sitting at the breakfast
>table one morning when the wife says, "Just think, fifty years ago we were
>sitting here at this breakfast table together." "I know," the old man said.
>"We were probably sitting here naked as a jaybird fifty years ago. "Well,"
>Granny snickered. "Let's relive some old times." Where upon, the two
>stripped to the buff and sat down at the table. "You know, honey," the
>little old lady breathlessly replied, "My nipples are as hot for you today
>as they were fifty years ago."
> "I wouldn't be surprised," replied Gramps.
>"One's in your coffee and the other is in your oatmeal."
>
>Top Four Adult Jokes
>
> Fourth Place:
>
> A man bumps into a woman in a hotel lobby and as he does, his elbow goes
>into her breast. They are both quite startled. The man turns to her and
>says, "Ma'am, if your heart is as soft as your breast, I know you'll
> forgive me." She replies,
> "If your penis is as hard as your elbow,
> I'm in room 221."
>-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
>
>Third Place:
>
> One night, as a couple lays down for bed, the husband starts rubbing
>his wife's arm.
>The wife turns over and says "I'm sorry honey, I've got a gynecologist
>appointment tomorrow and I want to stay fresh.
> "The husband, rejected, turns over.
>A few minutes later, he rolls back over and taps his wife again.
>"Do you have a dentist appointment tomorrow too?"
>------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
>
>Runner Up:
>
> Bill worked in a pickle factory. He had been employed there for a number
>of years when he came home one day to confess to his wife that he had a
>terrible compulsion. He had an urge to stick his penis into the pickle
>slicer. His wife suggested that he should see a sex therapist to talk
>about it, but Bill said he would be too embarrassed. He vowed to overcome
>the compulsion on his own.
>
>One day a few weeks later ,
>Bill came home and his wife could see at once that something was seriously
>wrong.
> W hat's wrong, Bill?" she asked.
>"Do you remember that I told you how I had this tremendous urge to put my
>penis into the pickle slicer?"
> Oh, Bill, you didn't" she exclaimed.
> Yes, I did." he replied.
> My God, Bill, what happened?"
> "I got fired."
>"No, Bill. I mean, what happened with the pickle slicer?"
>"Oh...she got fired too."
>-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
>Winner:
>
> A couple had been married for 50 years. They were sitting at the breakfast
>table one morning when the wife says, "Just think, fifty years ago we were
>sitting here at this breakfast table together." "I know," the old man said.
>"We were probably sitting here naked as a jaybird fifty years ago. "Well,"
>Granny snickered. "Let's relive some old times." Where upon, the two
>stripped to the buff and sat down at the table. "You know, honey," the
>little old lady breathlessly replied, "My nipples are as hot for you today
>as they were fifty years ago."
> "I wouldn't be surprised," replied Gramps.
>"One's in your coffee and the other is in your oatmeal."
>