Ted Cottrell, the Chargers defensive coordinator knew he had to come up with a great gameplan to defeat the only undefeated team of the last 30 years. One that no one had been able to devise before. To do that he would have to understand the inner-workings of the Patriots most potent weapon: The Brady.
To fully understand just how The Brady works, Cottrell had to journey far into the Himalayan mountains with his defensive assistants to find the reclusive inventor Reginald Bravari. Bravari created The Brady in his lab some 30 years ago in an effort to make the perfect human being. In Himalayan mountain society, one's worth and social standing is based not on what you actually do, but on how far you can throw something. For example, here in the U.S. Bill Gates and George Bush are both very high up the social ladder. But in the Himalayas, Chris Weinke would be seen as more prestigious than either of them. This could even be applied to historical figures. In Himalayan society, Benjamin Franklin would have been a chimney sweeper because he could not throw a football 10 yards, while Jack Geraldo, 280-pound butcher and weekend flag football player would have been a near deity because he can toss a long bomb.
But Bravari's super throwing creation had other plans, and he went to America to play in their professional football league. It was from Bravari that Cottrell hoped to learn the very secret of what makes The Brady tick, and hopefully how to defeat it in battle. "I built no real weaknesses into The Brady superstructure," said Bravari when questioned by the Charger coaching staff in his mountain home. He pulled up a blueprint of The Brady and laid it out on the table. "He was designed to throw, and I made it so it would be very hard to ever stop him from throwing. I don't follow the rules of this football of yours, but there is one thing that can stop The Brady, one item I crafted out of the very ingredients he is made of. It's his Kryptonite, if you will. I keep it locked in this box."
The coaching staff knew they were close to finding the very substance that could weaken The Brady and maybe even cause him to throw an interception. Bravari turned the key and opened the box to reveal...a handgun.
"Wait a minute, this is the only thing that can stop Tom Brady? A gun?" said Cottrell angrily.
"Yes, if you shoot him in the face he will most certainly not throw a touchdown for the rest of the game. But the face is the key, that is his weakspot. Anywhere else and he's probably still going to be able to hit Randy Moss for an 80-yard bomb. What are the rules for using guns in your football?"
"You can't use them."
"Well then. You are probably screwed," noted Bravari.
Sure enough the Chargers could not defeat The Brady on Sunday, and the Patriots marched on towards another Super Bowl title.
Thought this was a hilarious article from: http://www.sportscomedian.com/
To fully understand just how The Brady works, Cottrell had to journey far into the Himalayan mountains with his defensive assistants to find the reclusive inventor Reginald Bravari. Bravari created The Brady in his lab some 30 years ago in an effort to make the perfect human being. In Himalayan mountain society, one's worth and social standing is based not on what you actually do, but on how far you can throw something. For example, here in the U.S. Bill Gates and George Bush are both very high up the social ladder. But in the Himalayas, Chris Weinke would be seen as more prestigious than either of them. This could even be applied to historical figures. In Himalayan society, Benjamin Franklin would have been a chimney sweeper because he could not throw a football 10 yards, while Jack Geraldo, 280-pound butcher and weekend flag football player would have been a near deity because he can toss a long bomb.
But Bravari's super throwing creation had other plans, and he went to America to play in their professional football league. It was from Bravari that Cottrell hoped to learn the very secret of what makes The Brady tick, and hopefully how to defeat it in battle. "I built no real weaknesses into The Brady superstructure," said Bravari when questioned by the Charger coaching staff in his mountain home. He pulled up a blueprint of The Brady and laid it out on the table. "He was designed to throw, and I made it so it would be very hard to ever stop him from throwing. I don't follow the rules of this football of yours, but there is one thing that can stop The Brady, one item I crafted out of the very ingredients he is made of. It's his Kryptonite, if you will. I keep it locked in this box."
The coaching staff knew they were close to finding the very substance that could weaken The Brady and maybe even cause him to throw an interception. Bravari turned the key and opened the box to reveal...a handgun.
"Wait a minute, this is the only thing that can stop Tom Brady? A gun?" said Cottrell angrily.
"Yes, if you shoot him in the face he will most certainly not throw a touchdown for the rest of the game. But the face is the key, that is his weakspot. Anywhere else and he's probably still going to be able to hit Randy Moss for an 80-yard bomb. What are the rules for using guns in your football?"
"You can't use them."
"Well then. You are probably screwed," noted Bravari.
Sure enough the Chargers could not defeat The Brady on Sunday, and the Patriots marched on towards another Super Bowl title.
Thought this was a hilarious article from: http://www.sportscomedian.com/
