Was watching True Romance last night and couldnt help thinking about how Gary Oldman was just a total bad ass in the scene in the whore house. I got to wondering who are some of the best baddies of all time in the movies. off the top of my head I would go with Tom Berenger in Platoon, Denzel Washington in Training Day, Joe Pesci in Goodfellas or Casino, Tony Montana, Scarface. what are some of yours? I know it hasnt been released yet but it looks like Ledger's Joker in the new Batman is supposed to be a total bad ass..
Here are the worst ones:
Rank 'Em: Ten Worst Movie Villains
By Jason Perry
Bad movies are my forte; almost to the point of obsession. Granted, I haven't seen every single piece of cinematic crap in existence, but these eyes of mine have feasted on an abysmal buffet that stretches for miles with unsatisfying, spoiled pieces of meat that somehow pass as "films." And yes, because of this garbage buffet, I've puked enough times in a toilet that even Nicole Ritchie thinks I've got a problem (but she still hits me up for puking tips).
But like any buffet that even a starving dog would turn down, I still go back. Why? Because every buffet has that one morsel, one piece of food that you simply can't resist. Those crispy chicken tenders that somehow find a way to avoid being coated with the cook's armpit hair. Or the soft serve ice cream that puts a smile on your face, even as your stomach frowns. When it comes to myself and bad movies, I keep asking for more due to the material.
After all, that‘s what bad movies are: sources for comedic material. We've all laughed at an Uwe Boll film or Jennifer Lopez attempting to show the volume of her acting skills, as opposed to the volume of her ass. It's humorous to watch others fail, and it's even funnier when it's sprawled across the big screen.
Speaking of failures, let's get into the latest "Rank 'Em" list: the ten worst movie villains. Every villain on this list fails at something whether it be killing the hero or emitting a level of intimidation that wouldn't even scare a playground of pre-schoolers on Halloween. But what brings them together on this virtual scroll filled with cynicism? They're all embarrassing to the title of "villain."
You think I'm lying? Hold my hand, child, and let's go on a stroll through this Hall of Shame and Pain. These villains are so horrendous that it will cause you and your loved ones immense pain. Hope your grandmother doesn't have a bum-ticker.
10) Marie - Haute Tension (2003): Played by Cecile De France
She's the villain throughout the entire film. Whoops, guessed I just spoiled this steaming pile for you. Forum geeks slob the knob of this film like it's made out of honey, but normal people with a functional brain saw the Grand Canyon-sized plot holes littered throughout. As for Marie herself, she apparently envisions the appearance of her murderous personality to resemble the village plumber: the definition of fear. And for God's sake, she gets killed by a girl in a white nightgown.
9) Ghostface - Scream (1996): Played by assorted actors
Not only did this droopy-faced son of a bitch help make a mockery of the horror genre (like it needed the help anyway), but he literally ruined Halloween of 1997. Every delinquent across the land begged their parents to let them dress up as this flash-in-the-pan slasher. The result? Multiple neighborhoods of kids running around looking like they have Down syndrome. On the silver screen, Ghostface made all the pre-teen girls scared, but anyone with a sack knew that old slack-jaw was about as harmful as getting smacked in the face with a feather. A great spokesman for the National Down Syndrome Society, but an awful villain.
8) Kagan - Bloodrayne (2005): Played by Ben Kingsley
I'm more afraid of Count Chocula than this "King of the Vampires." Kagan looks like that creepy Aunt who is into tarot card readings and constantly says that your palm's throbbing lifeline indicates you‘ll father twenty kids. With some outlandish garb that could double as the curtains for a Chinese restaurant, Kagan ranks as one of the worst vampires this side of Drake in Blade: Trinity. And as a villain? Come on, he's more likely to sell you herbal tea than bite your neck. Ben Kingsley definitely lost a bet that forced him to play this role.
7) Zeus - No Holds Barred (1989): Played by Tony Lister
Even wrestling fans rolled their eyes at this goon. That lazy eye of his isn't going to help him win any stare down contests. A good villain needs the ability to shoot a mean stare at his victim, overwhelming the poor soul with terror. Zeus, the god of poor Sci-Fi costumes, will only cause confusion with his stare down as his victim will be left wondering "Is he actually looking at me?" The large "Z" belt buckle is a nice touch and really accentuates the whole Babylon 5 vibe he's got going.
Here's a clip of Zeus in pre-Babylon 5 mode. In this scene, Zeus fights a bunch of hillbillies, complete with lots of yelling and a finishing move that is, literally, hair-raising. Looking for a way to remove unsightly hair? Zeus is your man. He charges extra for Brazilian bikini-waxes.
6) Shao Kahn - Mortal Kombat: Annihilation (1997): Played by Brian Thompson
In the Mortal Kombat video game series, Shao Kahn is a certified shit-ruiner. Despite the Mad Max-ish homoerotic outfit, he still managed to rock all sorts of his with his sarcastic taunts and a huge cement hammer that he literally pulled out of his rectum. You've got to be one tough hombre to pull a cement hammer from your Hershey tunnel, I say.
However, in the film Mortal Kombat: Annihilation, Shao Kahn couldn't have been any more feminine even if there was a close-up shot of a tampon dangling between his legs. That v-cut shirt just screams ‘roided-up gym rat suffering from impotence and not the Emperor of Outworld. Not to mention, I swear he stole that hammer from a Whack-a-Mole arcade game.
See for yourself:
5) Catherine Tramell - Basic Instinct II (2006): Played by Sharon Stone
Middle-aged women who have donated their bodies to plastic surgery are not scary, just pathetic. This air-brushed old hag returns 14 years later in a sequel no one asked for. Honestly, she's just a frigid bitch whose source of anger stems from that gaping hole between her legs; one festered with diseases that killed the Europeans over 200 years ago.
The guy in this scene must be grateful that he drowns. If he lived, you know damn well his wandering hand would've fallen off after contracting gangrene.
4) General M.Bison - Street Fighter: The Movie (1994): Played by Raul Julia
Poor old Bison here experiences the same game-to-film transition as Shao Kahn: bad ass in the game, slippery vagina in the film. I hope for Bison's sake that his hideout has central air, because if not, he's got to be sweating buckets in that leather jumpsuit. It looks like he's wearing the back seat of a 1947 Buick Special. This role unquestionably killed Raul Julia.
Watch and see why:
3) Terl - Battlefield:Earth (2000): Played by John Travolta
Quite possibly, the worst science fiction villain of all-time. The whole Rastafarian/receding hairline look doesn't quite scream "evil." In fact, nothing old Terly-pants does in Battlefield:Earth classifies as evil. He spends most of the film shooting the legs off cows, banging his large chrome-dome on ceilings, and hanging out with Forest Whitaker (which is just sad).
But of all the characteristics that make Terl the unlovable space fruitcake that he is, his voice makes him simply unbearable. He sounds like a failed audition from a Monty Python film.
2) Mr. Freeze - Batman & Robin (1997): Played by Arnold Schwarzenegger
Want to play a great drinking game that will completely demolish your brain cells? Take a shot (an ice cold one, of course) every time Mr. Freeze says something related to being cold. You'll die by the time the film ends (either by alcohol poisoning or the general crappiness of Batman & Robin). Chilly Willy here is supposed to pay homage to campy fun of the old Batman TV show, but instead he just creates a f-cking brain-freeze for anyone unfortunate to hear his voice. Seriously asshole, take the glowstick out of your mouth: you're a damn super villain not some ecstasy-laden rave whore. As a huge Arnold fan, I don't even acknowledge this on his film credentials. He makes a bigger ass out of himself in this movie than he did in Junior...and he was f-cking pregnant in Junior!
1) Bennett - Commando (1985): Played by Vernon Wells
At least we know who gave Arnold some pointers on how to suck it up as a villain on-screen. This flamboyant Australian appears to have a love for all things leather and chain mail. Not to mention a boisterous 70's pornstar mustache and flabby physique to match. Was Vernon Wells hamming it up in this role? I can't tell. All I know is that his near-orgasmic reaction to the idea of killing John Matrix near the film's conclusion must've made everyone filming that scene a little uncomfortable.
Credit to YouTube Members: quickerblade, Zoltarkill, YDGN, chavo86, dalkveron, curbsidetramp, MovieMedia, and alloveshondo for all the videos you have seen in this article.
Got a scoop, update, or corrections? Send us a note at news@justpressplay.net
Rank 'Em: Ten Worst Movie Villains
By Jason Perry
Bad movies are my forte; almost to the point of obsession. Granted, I haven't seen every single piece of cinematic crap in existence, but these eyes of mine have feasted on an abysmal buffet that stretches for miles with unsatisfying, spoiled pieces of meat that somehow pass as "films." And yes, because of this garbage buffet, I've puked enough times in a toilet that even Nicole Ritchie thinks I've got a problem (but she still hits me up for puking tips).
But like any buffet that even a starving dog would turn down, I still go back. Why? Because every buffet has that one morsel, one piece of food that you simply can't resist. Those crispy chicken tenders that somehow find a way to avoid being coated with the cook's armpit hair. Or the soft serve ice cream that puts a smile on your face, even as your stomach frowns. When it comes to myself and bad movies, I keep asking for more due to the material.
After all, that‘s what bad movies are: sources for comedic material. We've all laughed at an Uwe Boll film or Jennifer Lopez attempting to show the volume of her acting skills, as opposed to the volume of her ass. It's humorous to watch others fail, and it's even funnier when it's sprawled across the big screen.
Speaking of failures, let's get into the latest "Rank 'Em" list: the ten worst movie villains. Every villain on this list fails at something whether it be killing the hero or emitting a level of intimidation that wouldn't even scare a playground of pre-schoolers on Halloween. But what brings them together on this virtual scroll filled with cynicism? They're all embarrassing to the title of "villain."
You think I'm lying? Hold my hand, child, and let's go on a stroll through this Hall of Shame and Pain. These villains are so horrendous that it will cause you and your loved ones immense pain. Hope your grandmother doesn't have a bum-ticker.
10) Marie - Haute Tension (2003): Played by Cecile De France
She's the villain throughout the entire film. Whoops, guessed I just spoiled this steaming pile for you. Forum geeks slob the knob of this film like it's made out of honey, but normal people with a functional brain saw the Grand Canyon-sized plot holes littered throughout. As for Marie herself, she apparently envisions the appearance of her murderous personality to resemble the village plumber: the definition of fear. And for God's sake, she gets killed by a girl in a white nightgown.
9) Ghostface - Scream (1996): Played by assorted actors
Not only did this droopy-faced son of a bitch help make a mockery of the horror genre (like it needed the help anyway), but he literally ruined Halloween of 1997. Every delinquent across the land begged their parents to let them dress up as this flash-in-the-pan slasher. The result? Multiple neighborhoods of kids running around looking like they have Down syndrome. On the silver screen, Ghostface made all the pre-teen girls scared, but anyone with a sack knew that old slack-jaw was about as harmful as getting smacked in the face with a feather. A great spokesman for the National Down Syndrome Society, but an awful villain.
8) Kagan - Bloodrayne (2005): Played by Ben Kingsley
I'm more afraid of Count Chocula than this "King of the Vampires." Kagan looks like that creepy Aunt who is into tarot card readings and constantly says that your palm's throbbing lifeline indicates you‘ll father twenty kids. With some outlandish garb that could double as the curtains for a Chinese restaurant, Kagan ranks as one of the worst vampires this side of Drake in Blade: Trinity. And as a villain? Come on, he's more likely to sell you herbal tea than bite your neck. Ben Kingsley definitely lost a bet that forced him to play this role.
7) Zeus - No Holds Barred (1989): Played by Tony Lister
Even wrestling fans rolled their eyes at this goon. That lazy eye of his isn't going to help him win any stare down contests. A good villain needs the ability to shoot a mean stare at his victim, overwhelming the poor soul with terror. Zeus, the god of poor Sci-Fi costumes, will only cause confusion with his stare down as his victim will be left wondering "Is he actually looking at me?" The large "Z" belt buckle is a nice touch and really accentuates the whole Babylon 5 vibe he's got going.
Here's a clip of Zeus in pre-Babylon 5 mode. In this scene, Zeus fights a bunch of hillbillies, complete with lots of yelling and a finishing move that is, literally, hair-raising. Looking for a way to remove unsightly hair? Zeus is your man. He charges extra for Brazilian bikini-waxes.
6) Shao Kahn - Mortal Kombat: Annihilation (1997): Played by Brian Thompson
In the Mortal Kombat video game series, Shao Kahn is a certified shit-ruiner. Despite the Mad Max-ish homoerotic outfit, he still managed to rock all sorts of his with his sarcastic taunts and a huge cement hammer that he literally pulled out of his rectum. You've got to be one tough hombre to pull a cement hammer from your Hershey tunnel, I say.
However, in the film Mortal Kombat: Annihilation, Shao Kahn couldn't have been any more feminine even if there was a close-up shot of a tampon dangling between his legs. That v-cut shirt just screams ‘roided-up gym rat suffering from impotence and not the Emperor of Outworld. Not to mention, I swear he stole that hammer from a Whack-a-Mole arcade game.
See for yourself:
5) Catherine Tramell - Basic Instinct II (2006): Played by Sharon Stone
Middle-aged women who have donated their bodies to plastic surgery are not scary, just pathetic. This air-brushed old hag returns 14 years later in a sequel no one asked for. Honestly, she's just a frigid bitch whose source of anger stems from that gaping hole between her legs; one festered with diseases that killed the Europeans over 200 years ago.
The guy in this scene must be grateful that he drowns. If he lived, you know damn well his wandering hand would've fallen off after contracting gangrene.
4) General M.Bison - Street Fighter: The Movie (1994): Played by Raul Julia
Poor old Bison here experiences the same game-to-film transition as Shao Kahn: bad ass in the game, slippery vagina in the film. I hope for Bison's sake that his hideout has central air, because if not, he's got to be sweating buckets in that leather jumpsuit. It looks like he's wearing the back seat of a 1947 Buick Special. This role unquestionably killed Raul Julia.
Watch and see why:
3) Terl - Battlefield:Earth (2000): Played by John Travolta
Quite possibly, the worst science fiction villain of all-time. The whole Rastafarian/receding hairline look doesn't quite scream "evil." In fact, nothing old Terly-pants does in Battlefield:Earth classifies as evil. He spends most of the film shooting the legs off cows, banging his large chrome-dome on ceilings, and hanging out with Forest Whitaker (which is just sad).
But of all the characteristics that make Terl the unlovable space fruitcake that he is, his voice makes him simply unbearable. He sounds like a failed audition from a Monty Python film.
2) Mr. Freeze - Batman & Robin (1997): Played by Arnold Schwarzenegger
Want to play a great drinking game that will completely demolish your brain cells? Take a shot (an ice cold one, of course) every time Mr. Freeze says something related to being cold. You'll die by the time the film ends (either by alcohol poisoning or the general crappiness of Batman & Robin). Chilly Willy here is supposed to pay homage to campy fun of the old Batman TV show, but instead he just creates a f-cking brain-freeze for anyone unfortunate to hear his voice. Seriously asshole, take the glowstick out of your mouth: you're a damn super villain not some ecstasy-laden rave whore. As a huge Arnold fan, I don't even acknowledge this on his film credentials. He makes a bigger ass out of himself in this movie than he did in Junior...and he was f-cking pregnant in Junior!
1) Bennett - Commando (1985): Played by Vernon Wells
At least we know who gave Arnold some pointers on how to suck it up as a villain on-screen. This flamboyant Australian appears to have a love for all things leather and chain mail. Not to mention a boisterous 70's pornstar mustache and flabby physique to match. Was Vernon Wells hamming it up in this role? I can't tell. All I know is that his near-orgasmic reaction to the idea of killing John Matrix near the film's conclusion must've made everyone filming that scene a little uncomfortable.
Credit to YouTube Members: quickerblade, Zoltarkill, YDGN, chavo86, dalkveron, curbsidetramp, MovieMedia, and alloveshondo for all the videos you have seen in this article.
Got a scoop, update, or corrections? Send us a note at news@justpressplay.net
William "Bill the Butcher" Cutting (Daniel Day Lewis) from Gangs of New York
Another Scosese villian:
Robert DiNiro as Max Cady in the 1991 remake of Cape Fear.
Was Travis Bickle (Di Niro) the real villian of Taxi Driver or was it the evil pimp "Sport" Matthew played by Harvey Keitel the real villian in that movie?
wil.
Another Scosese villian:
Robert DiNiro as Max Cady in the 1991 remake of Cape Fear.
Was Travis Bickle (Di Niro) the real villian of Taxi Driver or was it the evil pimp "Sport" Matthew played by Harvey Keitel the real villian in that movie?
wil.
Dr. Miguelito Loveless the midget guy on "The Wild, Wild West" (the original TV series).
<object width="425" height="355"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/Ksy1GET6nqE"></param><param name="wmode" value="transparent"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/Ksy1GET6nqE" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" width="425" height="355"></embed></object>
Freddy Krueger.
<object width="425" height="355"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/Ksy1GET6nqE"></param><param name="wmode" value="transparent"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/Ksy1GET6nqE" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" width="425" height="355"></embed></object>
Freddy Krueger.
