In the year 2000......
On Christmas Eve, Michael Jackson will be visited by a ghost who takes him on a journey to Christmas past. Unfortunately, Jackson will use the trip as an excuse to fondle himself as a child!
Sales of Oscar Mayer Wieners will plummet when it is revealed their design is based on Oscar Mayer's actual wiener.
There will be yet another spin-off of 'The Apprentice.' This time featuring O.J. Simpson and his signature catch phrase, "You're Murdered."
Ballpark Franks will no longer plump when you cook them. Instead they will spit at you and call you a whore."
"Because of one major rule change, Major League Baseball will become known as Major League Assball.''
Former members of the musical groups Sha Na Na and Bow Wow Wow will unite to form the super-group, Crap."
"Former Vice President, Dan Quayle, is rushed to the hospital after talking an intern into putting a cigar in his penis."
"Gangsta rappers become even more controversial after the release of Snoop Doggy Dogg's new album 'Messin' Up Da Pope."
"Gillette develops its sharpest razor yet. The first blade shaves your beard, while the second blade shaves your other beard."
"God at last reveals himself to humans, who are shocked and appalled by his really bad comb-over."
"God will schedule a press conference to announce the firing of Jesus and the hiring of Jet's coach Bill Parcells."
"Historical revisionists will shock the world with the revelation that Fuzzy Wuzzy was not a bear who had no hair, but instead was a cruel dictator who murdered his own people."
"Hollywood super-agent Mike Ovitz firmly secures his reputation as the best negotiator of all time when he lands a huge 3-picture deal for his newest client—diarrhea."
"Homosexuality will become so commonplace that men who don't have oral sex with each other will be considered fairies."
