ZEN SARCASM 2008
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1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead.
Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow.
Do not walk beside me either.
Just pretty much leave me the hell alone</SPAN>.<XXSTYLE=XX>
2. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fanbelt</SPAN> <XXSTYLE=XX>and a leaky tire.</SPAN><XXSTYLE=XX>
3. It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal your neighbor's newspaper, that's the best time to do it.</SPAN><XXSTYLE=XX>
4. Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.</SPAN><XXSTYLE=XX>
5. Always remember that you're unique. Just like everyone else.</SPAN></SPAN><XXSTYLE=XX> </SPAN><XXSTYLE=XX> <XXSTYLE=XX>
6. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.</SPAN><XXSTYLE=XX>
7. If you think nobody cares if you're alive, just miss a couple of car payments.</SPAN></SPAN><XXSTYLE=XX> </SPAN><XXSTYLE=XX> <XXSTYLE=XX>
8. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes.</SPAN></SPAN><XXSTYLE=XX> </SPAN><XXSTYLE=XX>That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.</SPAN><XXSTYLE=XX>
9. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.</SPAN><XXSTYLE=XX>
10. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.</SPAN><XXSTYLE=XX>
11. If you lend someone $20 and you never see that person again, it was probably worth it.</SPAN><XXSTYLE=XX>
12. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything</SPAN><XXSTYLE=XX>.</SPAN><XXSTYLE=XX> </SPAN><XXSTYLE=XX>
13. Some days you're the bug. Other days, you're the windshield.</SPAN><XXSTYLE=XX>
14. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.</SPAN><XXSTYLE=XX>
15. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back into your pocket.</SPAN><XXSTYLE=XX> </SPAN><XXSTYLE=XX> </SPAN><XXSTYLE=XX>
16. A closed mouth gathers no foot.</SPAN><XXSTYLE=XX>
17. Duct tape is like 'The Force.' It has a light side and a dark side, and holds the universe together</SPAN><XXSTYLE=XX>.</SPAN><XXSTYLE=XX>
</SPAN><XXSTYLE=XX>18. There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.</SPAN><XXSTYLE=XX>
19. Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips are moving.</SPAN><XXSTYLE=XX>
20. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.</SPAN><XXSTYLE=XX>
21. Never miss a good chance to shut up.</SPAN><XXSTYLE=XX>
</SPAN><XXSTYLE=XX>AND FINALLY......</SPAN><XXSTYLE=XX>
22. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night !!!</SPAN><O></O>
<XXSTYLE=XX>
1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead.
Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow.
Do not walk beside me either.
Just pretty much leave me the hell alone</SPAN>.<XXSTYLE=XX>
2. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fanbelt</SPAN> <XXSTYLE=XX>and a leaky tire.</SPAN><XXSTYLE=XX>
3. It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal your neighbor's newspaper, that's the best time to do it.</SPAN><XXSTYLE=XX>
4. Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.</SPAN><XXSTYLE=XX>
5. Always remember that you're unique. Just like everyone else.</SPAN></SPAN><XXSTYLE=XX> </SPAN><XXSTYLE=XX> <XXSTYLE=XX>
6. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.</SPAN><XXSTYLE=XX>
7. If you think nobody cares if you're alive, just miss a couple of car payments.</SPAN></SPAN><XXSTYLE=XX> </SPAN><XXSTYLE=XX> <XXSTYLE=XX>
8. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes.</SPAN></SPAN><XXSTYLE=XX> </SPAN><XXSTYLE=XX>That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.</SPAN><XXSTYLE=XX>
9. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.</SPAN><XXSTYLE=XX>
10. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.</SPAN><XXSTYLE=XX>
11. If you lend someone $20 and you never see that person again, it was probably worth it.</SPAN><XXSTYLE=XX>
12. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything</SPAN><XXSTYLE=XX>.</SPAN><XXSTYLE=XX> </SPAN><XXSTYLE=XX>
13. Some days you're the bug. Other days, you're the windshield.</SPAN><XXSTYLE=XX>
14. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.</SPAN><XXSTYLE=XX>
15. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back into your pocket.</SPAN><XXSTYLE=XX> </SPAN><XXSTYLE=XX> </SPAN><XXSTYLE=XX>
16. A closed mouth gathers no foot.</SPAN><XXSTYLE=XX>
17. Duct tape is like 'The Force.' It has a light side and a dark side, and holds the universe together</SPAN><XXSTYLE=XX>.</SPAN><XXSTYLE=XX>
</SPAN><XXSTYLE=XX>18. There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.</SPAN><XXSTYLE=XX>
19. Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips are moving.</SPAN><XXSTYLE=XX>
20. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.</SPAN><XXSTYLE=XX>
21. Never miss a good chance to shut up.</SPAN><XXSTYLE=XX>
</SPAN><XXSTYLE=XX>AND FINALLY......</SPAN><XXSTYLE=XX>
22. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night !!!</SPAN><O></O>