Get me out of jury duty

ECS · May 13, 2008

ok, lets try to not get this rubber roomed right away, I put off jury duty all last summer and now they are back trying to get me. If I was at your typical 9-5 job I would most likely just do it, but damnit, I have my summers off for a reason, not to sit and do jury duty.

I'm guessing that the first time you go its some sort of interview process, without being a total dick whats some things that maybe lawyers are looking to get rid of a potential juror, preferably someone that has gone through this :nopityA:

bigtendominator · May 13, 2008

ECS said:
ok, lets try to not get this rubber roomed right away, I put off jury duty all last summer and now they are back trying to get me. If I was at your typical 9-5 job I would most likely just do it, but damnit, I have my summers off for a reason, not to sit and do jury duty.

I'm guessing that the first time you go its some sort of interview process, without being a total dick whats some things that maybe lawyers are looking to get rid of a potential juror, preferably someone that has gone through this :nopityA:

I did it two weeks ago. I wanted to get picked. Many people have said it is worth serving on a jury once.

Also, you remind me of all the others there complaining about. Obviously you aren't that busy, you have time to bitch and moan about it to people who don't even know you. It is unfortunate that so many people take your attitude towards jury duty.

Ask yourself this, if you had a case on going criminal or civil, is that the way you wished 12 people in judged you, fuck this guy, I don't want to be here!

ECS · May 13, 2008

well, thats a good point, and kind of what i'm getting at. If their are so many people that WANT to do it, why not let them

shdw01 · May 13, 2008

Tell them you will only do it if on trial it will be a (insert racial slur)

bigtendominator · May 13, 2008

ECS said:
well, thats a good point, and kind of what i'm getting at. If their are so many people that WANT to do it, why not let them

If you really want to get out if, a prof. once said, say you don't believe in the judical system.

TTinCO · May 13, 2008

They'll ask you a bunch of questions relating to the case. Just come across as being a little biased in one of your answers towards the subject. Poof, you're gone.

lifexpired · May 13, 2008

just be racist or sexist and they'll boot you right away

HarryCaray · May 13, 2008

The two times I had duty I informed them my father in law was a city prosecutor and my uncle was a private defense lawyer in town.

Dismissed both times.

ECS · May 13, 2008

Thats all I wanted to hear, lets hope for the best.

Again, if I was your typical 9-5 job I would just do it, but as a teacher my summers is my family time, vacation time, do big projects around the house time, etc. I really don't wan't to use up the little time I have off in the summer for this. As a football coach my summers already pretty much end Aug 1, not to mention camps/workouts and all the other stuff.

Cap'nCrunk · May 13, 2008

HiPockets · May 13, 2008

Like most, I have been on the many -not 'both'- ends of this and have come to conclusion to go in and do civic duty and lay out the hardship case or honest prejudice (can't figure out how to spell 'prejudices') and let the chips fall. First mindset reset is that it isn't about you, that its about the functioning of our community to which you could contribute experience and wisdom. Show up, talk, serve, help.

fhmesq44 · May 13, 2008

buddy of mine was recently on it and here is a blow by blow of how he got off. Beyond that, dress like a slob, wear a hat, bring a book and leave your cell phone on and have a buddy call during a time when you are likely to be in front of the judge. Fall asleep while you are waiting, say racist things, claim the cops are racist or strongly indicate bias for one side or the other, ask to go to the bathroom repeatedly and when they ask why tell them you have a small bladder and pee a lot.

So my 3 weeks of jury duty nightmare has ended just shy of 2 days.
BTW- None of this was made up.

How to get kicked off jury duty:

1. When they ask you if you have ever been held in a holding
tank or visited a jail. Answer "YES". Then go on to tell them
that you were taken away for hitting a police officer.

2. When Asked if you would follow the LAW or follow your HEART.
Answer "Your Heart because the System sometimes puts innocent people
away and can't be trusted blindly".

3. Roll your eyes and smirk while other people are telling their stories
and answering the courts questions.

4. Look at the clock a lot and make sure that the court sees you do this. Huffing and puffing
and mouthing the words "are you fucking kidding me?" may also be effective.

5. Make as many comparisons between what you see in movies and your knowledge
of the court system.

Doug · May 13, 2008

ECS said:
ok, lets try to not get this rubber roomed right away, I put off jury duty all last summer and now they are back trying to get me. If I was at your typical 9-5 job I would most likely just do it, but damnit, I have my summers off for a reason, not to sit and do jury duty.

I'm guessing that the first time you go its some sort of interview process, without being a total dick whats some things that maybe lawyers are looking to get rid of a potential juror, preferably someone that has gone through this :nopityA:

don't acknowledge the first notice and postpone it.

You never got it, shred the thing... too late now !

FairWarning · May 13, 2008

Without looking like a clown, this is what you do. Dress business-like and walk in with a newspaper. The defense doesn't want anyone who looks like they may have an opinion on a case. The prosecution doesn't want you there potentially sharing facts with a newspaper. Also by dressing business-like, you will look smarter than 99% of the people, something the defense doesn't want either.

This has worked for me every time. My uncle is a lawyer and told me how to do this.

billsfan · May 13, 2008

fhmesq44 said:
buddy of mine was recently on it and here is a blow by blow of how he got off. Beyond that, dress like a slob, wear a hat, bring a book and leave your cell phone on and have a buddy call during a time when you are likely to be in front of the judge. Fall asleep while you are waiting, say racist things, claim the cops are racist or strongly indicate bias for one side or the other, ask to go to the bathroom repeatedly and when they ask why tell them you have a small bladder and pee a lot.

So my 3 weeks of jury duty nightmare has ended just shy of 2 days.
BTW- None of this was made up.

How to get kicked off jury duty:

1. When they ask you if you have ever been held in a holding
tank or visited a jail. Answer "YES". Then go on to tell them
that you were taken away for hitting a police officer.

2. When Asked if you would follow the LAW or follow your HEART.
Answer "Your Heart because the System sometimes puts innocent people
away and can't be trusted blindly".

3. Roll your eyes and smirk while other people are telling their stories
and answering the courts questions.

4. Look at the clock a lot and make sure that the court sees you do this. Huffing and puffing
and mouthing the words "are you fucking kidding me?" may also be effective.

5. Make as many comparisons between what you see in movies and your knowledge
of the court system.

Aren't you a lawyer?

fhmesq44 · May 13, 2008

another thing, they will probably ask you questions related to the case. For instance, if it is a murder trial they are likely to ask if anyone you know has been murdered or accused of murder. Say yes and strongly indicate a bias (your cousin was wrongly accused of murder and the cops made up evidence...).

fhmesq44 · May 13, 2008

billsfan said:
Aren't you a lawyer?

yes. Why? Were you expecting righteous indignation that he would try to escape his civic duty? BTW, if it wasn't clear from my initial post, 1-5 are how he claims to have gotten off.

FairWarning · May 13, 2008

fhmesq44 said:
buddy of mine was recently on it and here is a blow by blow of how he got off. Beyond that, dress like a slob, wear a hat, bring a book and leave your cell phone on and have a buddy call during a time when you are likely to be in front of the judge. Fall asleep while you are waiting, say racist things, claim the cops are racist or strongly indicate bias for one side or the other, ask to go to the bathroom repeatedly and when they ask why tell them you have a small bladder and pee a lot.

So my 3 weeks of jury duty nightmare has ended just shy of 2 days.
BTW- None of this was made up.

How to get kicked off jury duty:

1. When they ask you if you have ever been held in a holding
tank or visited a jail. Answer "YES". Then go on to tell them
that you were taken away for hitting a police officer.

2. When Asked if you would follow the LAW or follow your HEART.
Answer "Your Heart because the System sometimes puts innocent people
away and can't be trusted blindly".

3. Roll your eyes and smirk while other people are telling their stories
and answering the courts questions.

4. Look at the clock a lot and make sure that the court sees you do this. Huffing and puffing
and mouthing the words "are you fucking kidding me?" may also be effective.

5. Make as many comparisons between what you see in movies and your knowledge
of the court system.

1 would never work in Michigan. You have to declare that on the jury questionaire. You can get a contempt of court charge for lying about that. Better off writing everything on your questionaire so it shows that you have some idea of how the system works.

JohnnyB · May 13, 2008

fhmesq44 said:
murder trial they are likely to ask if anyone you know has been murdered or accused of murder.

Them: Do you know anyone who has been murdered or been accused of murder?

You: No, but I know a guy who accidentally hung himself while jerking off, if that counts for anything.

asufan550 · May 13, 2008

ECS said:
Thats all I wanted to hear, lets hope for the best.

Again, if I was your typical 9-5 job I would just do it, but as a teacher my summers is my family time, vacation time, do big projects around the house time, etc. I really don't wan't to use up the little time I have off in the summer for this. As a football coach my summers already pretty much end Aug 1, not to mention camps/workouts and all the other stuff.

Is this a joke? I don't want to be an asshole, but those of us that do have "9-5" jobs (more like 7 or 8-5 by the way) don't get all of this free-time and are still expected to do things like jury duty. You work (as a teacher--anything else you do is on your own accord) 8 months out of the year and complain about not having enough time off--and don't pretend these are full 8 hour days you're working either--yet you have great benefits and make something ridiculous hourly if you actually calculate salary/hours worked.
No offense here, but that's retarded. Fucking teachers never know how good they have it. I wish that's what I'd done with my life.