Does Your Wife/SO Have a Dog, But YOU Have To Take Care of It??

barman · May 30, 2008

I actually installed this thread in the Politics forum, but I need more wide ranging feedback to determine how many of you are as whipped as me.

===============
SO about a month ago, The SheBar finally busts loose and gets a dog for first time since the year 2000 when we were just three years in as mates and she had to put here then 17 year old wire terrier down.

I now have several sub-topics with which I invite discussion

1) "I" am taking care of "her" dog, at the expense of my hedonistic and narcicisstic lifestyle

2) I am officially Old and Lame, because the dog is a fucking POODLE

3) There is an amazingly high Ass Quotient (human females, that is) at PETSMART most days

Let's now take them in order

barman · May 30, 2008

1) "I" am taking care of "her" dog, at the expense of my hedonistic and narcicisstic lifestyle

Okay, it's one thing to join her and The Dog (at least I got to name him - Ziggy Stardust...aka ZIGGY for her) for a 30 minute walk through the neighborhood because she and I can both use the walking.

But now I'm having to take TheDog out at absurd hours like 3am when I should be either hard at work sending out media PR information to newspapers and radio on drug policy topics; hard at work handicapping the next day's sporting events; hard at work reviewing the latest postings at RedTube.com or at least hard at work creating and expanding Hot Topics in the RxForum PoliticoPub.

NOPE...here he comes....Mister Fucking Happy Face....Tail wagging, "HEY BAR! Let's go walk outside so I can piss and shit. Even though I COULD go out the side patio door into the garden area and do it...I really want YOU to take me, BARMAN!

(I hate it when he calls me Barman after only knowing me a few weeks)

At least the SheBar is honoring my two urgent Edicts regarding TheDog.

1) He goes out on patio with door shut when she leaves for work at 9am so I don't have to hear him bark at our cats while I'm on the back end of 5mg of Ambien and a bowl of Kind.

2) She does not permit TheDog on to my sainted marital bed

barman · May 30, 2008

2) I am officially Old and Lame, because the dog is a fucking POODLE

This one is fairly self-explanatory just by the words used above

But if you don't quite get it, dig me looking Incredibly UnManly in these two cute fucking photos

barman · May 30, 2008

3) There is an amazingly high Ass Quotient (human females, that is) at PETSMART most days

Holy Cow

I am way late to this party, obviously.

But I'm telling ya...If anything ever happens to my Beloved Spousal Unit, first stop for me is fucking Petsmart with whatever dog I've got in tow.

Not sure if Florida women (ranging in age from 16-55 solid) make a special deal to get fixed up before going to that goddamn Petsmart, but WOW...

Maybe it's just because I'm making my first trips there during springtime in Florida....

But man oh man

And the thing is, when they see my Cute Fucking Little Dog on the leash, 85% of 'em get weak in the knees and just have to come up and start talking to me.

ME! (scroll back up to Old UnManly Guy photos to further emphasize how this is Muy Increible)

Of course, the downside is that I bet a lot of those fine looking women buying dog food have BIG ASS dogs that fucking sleep IN THEIR BED

Sorry for that buzzkill....Just scroll back up to the general theme of Lots Of Scantily Clad Good Looking Women in Florida PetSmarts and start over.

JohnnyB · May 30, 2008

?

barman · May 30, 2008

Johnny, I actually tried to use that pic to contribute to the DEMOTIVATIONAL PICS thread in the Rubber Room using the theme

JESUS
He's Everywhere, Man

But the website where you create the posters shrunk the pic and you can't really Get It.

JohnnyB · May 30, 2008

barman said:
Johnny, I actually tried to use that pic to contribute to the DEMOTIVATIONAL PICS thread in the Rubber Room using the theme

JESUS
He's Everywhere, Man

But the website where you create the posters shrunk the pic and you can't really Get It.

I don't buy that for a second. I think this is the real reason you hang out at Petsmart.

Betallsports · May 30, 2008

barman said:
2) I am officially Old and Lame, because the dog is a fucking POODLE

This one is fairly self-explanatory just by the words used above

But if you don't quite get it, dig me looking Incredibly UnManly in these two cute fucking photos

I guess the Only thing Missing with these Pictures is...

:lol:

barman · May 30, 2008

Ayuh...DAWOOFDADDY already took me to task for the gay sandals

BlackBart · May 31, 2008

The Whole Foods on Dale Mabry is a veritable assfest.

MackDonald · May 31, 2008

Dawoofdaddy's got you on that sandle business.

billsfan · May 31, 2008

Black Bart said:
The Whole Foods on Dale Mabry is a veritable assfest.

LMAO! I love this place! Barman, give the Shebar a break, she just started a new job!! Nice pics of you and the dog.%^_

nctarheelfans · May 31, 2008

barman said:
2) I am officially Old and Lame, because the dog is a fucking POODLE

This one is fairly self-explanatory just by the words used above

But if you don't quite get it, dig me looking Incredibly UnManly in these two cute fucking photos

Are those fukin Jean shorts that you are wearing????????

Holly SHITT....sell the fukin dog and do a little shopping at a store that sells clothes from the 2000's.

billhill999 · May 31, 2008

I am the desiginated dog shit picker upper in the family.
Cooper the oldest was here before me.

DarrylParsons · May 31, 2008

Hey Bar, have you tried the rubber room yet? I bet a lot of would-be responses are inhibited by the language constraints in here.

AngleBroom · May 31, 2008

My wife and kids begged to get a dog, but I was against it foreseeing that nobody would take it for a walk, or feed it, or just take care of it.
They then plea bargained for a parakeet which we got, and I do all the maintenance to keep that poor ****** alive. I didn't even want a pet.

barman · May 31, 2008

Darryl Parsons said:
Hey Bar, have you tried the rubber room yet? I bet a lot of would-be responses are inhibited by the language constraints in here.

Nah....I'm getting it pretty good here (and in the Politico thread).

I'm sufficiently self-deprecating that I can make up for any lack of bite that comes my way on this one.

Just wait until tomorrow when I post my latest chapter from Whippedville wherein I will detail tonight's upcoming date with The SheBar to see the movie version of that Sex And The City.

barman · May 31, 2008

nctarheelfans said:
Are those fukin Jean shorts that you are wearing????????

Holly SHITT....sell the fukin dog and do a little shopping at a store that sells clothes from the 2000's.

I had just got off work, man.

I wear the jean shorts when doing my lawn/garden biz.

I save my clothing jack for when I actually go out at night or traveling on an airplane.

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