What do you do when you are tired of a woman and she isn't of you?

DegenerateDood1 · Aug 16, 2008

Basically I'm tired of my Fiance, we had a child 7 months ago. I feel like ever since she got pregnant everything is different, she acts weird, after she had the child she was distant, no more sex, she had a shitty attitude towards me and talked down to me like I was dumb, she has also got fat and is no longer attractive. I just can no longer stand this person, she is currently in nursing school and she had the audacity to tell me to quit law school to raise the child so she could fulfill her dreams. I feel like this person is a total stranger and I just can't see any future in this.. I feel like I'm already half way down the highway.

What the fuck should I do? I'm being serious here.

teazeman · Aug 16, 2008

i suggest you get accustomed to paying child support, not something that you are likely going to be able to dodge even if you change addresses, the state you live in or your name. they will dog you day after day, week are fcuking week because they want and deserve to be paid. i'd think twice before entering a relationship with anyone if you're not willing to take on the responsibilty of holding up your end of the deal. my .02

HAT · Aug 16, 2008

You should man the fuck up and stick around at least until the kid is 2 or so. Of course things are different now.....It's a whole new dynamic with the kid around. It may or may not be only temporary...Same with the weight gain.

Tough it out (but by no means marry her)....If nothing changes over the next year or so, you can bail knowing that you tried your best for the kids sake. It might seem like a waste of a year if things don't work out, but at least you'll bond way more with your kid in that time than you would if you left now and only saw him/her a couple of times a month.

I was with my ex for more than 16 mostly happy years (married 7 of those) before we had our first kid. We (mutually) separated before my daughter's first B-Day because of all the change. I'll always kind of wonder what would've happened if we would've stuck it out for another year or so.

Seymour · Aug 16, 2008

I've been in the same exact situation as you - including law school - just minus the kid - don't let the kid be a factor in your decision - your still the father whether you're married or not - now listen close - THESE ARE THE DAYS OF YOUR LIFE - if your're miserable now it will only get worse - do not get married and move on - it may be hard now but its the only decision

DegenerateDood1 · Aug 16, 2008

It is hard to be a father in this situation due to her controlling everything and being possessive. Instead of letting me watch her this fall between classes shes using a baby sitter despite my protest, when I've giving her money to put in her bank account or an account for our daughter she will never give me th emoney back when I ask. I feel like I'm left out here to be honest. Like how can you be a dad when you do something wrong and are chastized then this person does the same thing. I also feel if I leave and go off to a different school my family will abandon me and she will feel her family full of lies and also my daughter forever ruining things.

bookie · Aug 16, 2008

I feel for you man.
IMO, do not quit school. It's going to be rough on both of you but you need your degree to make a decent living for the three of you.

I would also end the relationship but support them as bet you can. It doesn't benefit anyone to continue this relationship including your child.

bigtendominator · Aug 16, 2008

DegenerateDood1 said:
It is hard to be a father in this situation due to her controlling everything and being possessive. Instead of letting me watch her this fall between classes shes using a baby sitter despite my protest, when I've giving her money to put in her bank account or an account for our daughter she will never give me th emoney back when I ask. I feel like I'm left out here to be honest. Like how can you be a dad when you do something wrong and are chastized then this person does the same thing. I also feel if I leave and go off to a different school my family will abandon me and she will feel her family full of lies and also my daughter forever ruining things.

Is this are any way where you can discuss this with her rationally. I mean you have to have your bearings to if you are at least in law school, she must be able to see that you have the child's best interest, right?

Any chance you are responsible for any of this? Not asking to be a dick, but about 2 years ago, asked about divorce and complained about what she was complaining about. Majority said I was wrong, turns out they were right, i made changes and things returned to normal and we are as happy as we ever were.

Jetplane · Aug 16, 2008

Agreeing with the NO MARRIAGE yet idea. You'll probably want to arrange the child support idea. Let her know she needs to get her shit straight. You're the daddy.

Sugarbear · Aug 16, 2008

The psychological term for whats she is doing is called nesting. A nest that does not include you because she thinks at some point she will be on her own and have to do everything for the child while you do nothing or will not be allowed to do anything with it over time.

She does not feel she can depend on you and its a current state of the society thing than any one thing about you.

1. I suggest counseling before both of you explode in rage and very certainly before she starts upping her demands to completly unrealistic levels.

2. In case 1 does not work, or she is unreceptive, seek legal advice behind her back now so that you know where you stand. She will eventually start hurling threats at you about you having no rights and you need to know where you stand.

3. Keep a diary of her actions with dates and times. The time will come when she will deny it and you will have things to throw back in her face to make her look bad and support your case against her. This is highly effective and will work to your great advantage in the future.

4. Rally your family memebers/friends now and let them know what might happen and how you feel.

Under no circumstances what so ever are you to endure this quietly or alone. Many will tell you that you should, but its the positive worse thing you can do. I can assure you she is doing the same thing right now.

4. The kid in the short term is the least of your problems. Do not let her use it as a tool against you to modify your behavior. Nothing you do will ever be enough. She will always want more.

DegenerateDood1 · Aug 16, 2008

She say's the problem is I need to prove to her I can be a good man and a good dad for our daughter. This goes back to me being in a motorcycle accident and losing my spleen/gall bladder gaining 50 lbs..throwing up blood daily and just holing up in my room and not talking to anyone daily thinking I was going to die until about mid-june and early july I started feeling normal again losing weight and coming out of my shell. I feel like I really did nothing wrong here and most would of done the same, she has proven in the past she will lie about shit directly to my face. I forgave her for these things but I notice she continus these actions, I also feel she has some alterior motive, and she hangs out with some 44 year old nurse from work aswell(which i find weird, its a she/who will be ''babysitting our daughter this fall'')

I'm honestly about 90% getting my passport and just flying the fuck out of here into the sunset.

ProPokerPlayer · Aug 16, 2008

I knew 2 weeks after i got married i picked the wrong ...waited 11 yrs to dump her..
Had it to do over it would have lasted 2 weeks and 1 day...

GoForBroke · Aug 16, 2008

HAT said:
You should man the fuck up and stick around at least until the kid is 2 or so. Of course things are different now.....It's a whole new dynamic with the kid around. It may or may not be only temporary...Same with the weight gain.

Tough it out (but by no means marry her)....If nothing changes over the next year or so, you can bail knowing that you tried your best for the kids sake. It might seem like a waste of a year if things don't work out, but at least you'll bond way more with your kid in that time than you would if you left now and only saw him/her a couple of times a month.

Completely agree. Whatever you decide on, don't fuck your kid over.

Sugarbear · Aug 16, 2008

DegenerateDood1 said:
She say's the problem is I need to prove to her I can be a good man and a good dad for our daughter.

Read my post again and follow the instructions.

You can add she needs to prove she can be a good woman and not an irrational one sided my way or the highway type attitude. In other words throw it back at her.

If nothing else keep that dairy and get legal advice.

Nothing you do may ever be enough. That in the end will turn out to be the real problem.

kidslick · Aug 16, 2008

DegenerateDood1 said:
I also feel she has some alterior motive, and she hangs out with some 44 year old nurse from work as well(which i find weird, its a she/who will be ''babysitting our daughter this fall'')

Maybe thats the plan. They will both raise the newborn at your financial expense. 18 years of child support

silver7 · Aug 16, 2008

BINGO!! Listen To One Who's Gone Down

ProPokerPlayer said:
I knew 2 weeks after i got married i picked the wrong ...waited 11 yrs to dump her..
Had it to do over it would have lasted 2 weeks and 1 day...

This road. #1: DO NOT marry her under any circumstances. 2: resign yourself to the $$ over the next 18 yrs. 3. be tuff you have as many rights as she does. The child will be better off not being part of a loveless situation. Life will go on, but don't stay any longer, get out and start anew. But you do have to pay the $$ piper.

WorldNumberOne · Aug 16, 2008

get ready to start writing a check every month for anywhere between 600 and 1000 bucks and move the fuck out..

only choice you have.

or kill her and head off to prison .

nhoj · Aug 16, 2008

Sounds like she is a dike and you were the sperm donor. Get the hell out and chalk this up as a costly learning experence in life. By no way quit on your law degree. When this is over you will see how much lawyer make and may even mold your way to family law. No reason to be unhappy for the rest of your life. When all the legal parts are done start banging one of her best friends. Im not a doctor but I did stay at a Holiday Inn Express last night.

"I also feel she has some alterior motive, and she hangs out with some 44 year old nurse from work aswell(which i find weird, its a she/who will be ''babysitting our daughter this fall'')"

C.P. · Aug 16, 2008

get a set

man up to the kid

DO NOT QUIT SCHOOL

dump that controlling b*tch

move on

life is really short, in the grand scheme of things

you have your whole life ahead of you

I'm Dr. Phil and I approve this message. :103631605

lapdance · Aug 16, 2008

C.P. said:
get a set

man up to the kid

DO NOT QUIT SCHOOL

dump that controlling b*tch

move on

life is really short, in the grand scheme of things

you have your whole life ahead of you

I'm Dr. Phil and I approve this message.