Atten cleveland indians bullpen:my resume,lookin for work in your bullpen

HELLO MR INDIAN, i am inquiring about the listing for help in the bullpen.

SKILLS RELATING TO JOB OPENING: I AMVERY GOOD AT SITTING IN MY LIVING ROOM, IN MY RECLINER. I REALLY HAVE NO SKILLS REGARDING PITCHING A BASE BALL BUT THAT SHOULDN,T MATTER BECAUSE NOBODY ELSE CURRENTLY EMPLOYED IN THE INDIANS BULLPEN LOOKS LIKE THEY HAVE THROWN A BALL BEFORE EITHER. I AM VERY GOOD AT WALKING PEOPLE, AS I HAVE LEARNED THIS IS EASIER THAN THROWING STRIKES OR GETTING OUTS, AS I NOTICED THAT GUYS THAT CAN THROW LOTS OF WALKS ARE AN ASSETT HERE IN CLEVELAND.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

IN CLOSING: AFTER READING MY RESUME YOU WILL SEE THAT U NEED AND WANT ME FOR YOUR BULLPEN. AFTER REVIEWING THIS RESUME U WILL SEE THAT I HOLD ALL THE QUALITIES TO PITCH IN THE CLEVELAND INDIAN BULLPEN. SOME OF THESE TOP QUALITIES ARE: 1:BEING ABLE TO WALK GUYS ON COMMAND, 2:GIVING UP LEADS OF 5 OR MORE AFTER THE 7TH in. LAST ON THE LIST I CAN ROLL THE BALL TO THE PLATE, WHICH IS A LOT BETTER THEN GIVING UP GRAND SLAMS. tHIS ROLLING METHOD WILL EFFICIENTLY ALLOW ME TO WALK BATTERS ON A MORE CONSISTENT BASIS.
SO CLEVELAND INDIANS, U KNOW I AM THE RIGHT FIT FOR YOUR BULLPEN AN I CAN SUM IT UP IN ONE REASON: BECAUSE I HAVE NEVER PITCHED BEYOND COLT BASEBALL IN MY LIFE, WHICH MAKES ME A WAY MORE QUALIFIED CANDIDATE THAN ANYONE ALREADY EMPLOYED IN THE CLEV INDIAN BULLPEN
AND THANKS FOR YOUR TIME CHIEF YAHOO

What is your requested salary?

that BP is an enigma. They have gave up so many runs late in games and then turn around and just go lights out for a few days, then back to blowing up , and back again. No sort of consistency.

They might require a drug test @)





Good stuff. :lol:

God, it's like trying to a read a Coldweather post IN CAPSLOCK... a headache

the steriod part i could pass but the wacky tabacky test might be iffy real real iffy, actually they were solid last night up 5-0 bullpen comes in gives up 4 for a comfy 5-4 victory, i bet 4 ER in 2 innings and the bullpen ERA will go down, huh! lol

requested salary is what kerry wood makes, i mean shit from my skinny 165 6'1 ass to wood wouldnt be much of a dropoff in talent, I sure ass shit couldnt get anyone out, neither can he, I can definitely make the walk from the bullpen to the hill, so can Kerry-Ann. Last but not least I cannot throw strikes, either can Kerry-Ann or the rest of the cle pen. Oh and a little suggestion to the indian manager Eric Wedge, maybe u should audition your position players for the pen

shit i was at the bar with my buddies last night and after wedge pulled huff we were actually rooting for pitt to pull off the win.....

Lmfao! Hired.