Here it is PPP, check out this guys blog!

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Rx. Senior
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May 20, 2001
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He is hilarious! He reminds so much of what you would do in tournaments. He is from Biloxi and has this very popular blog. He got kicked out of the last big tournament at Coushatta!


The guy was REALLY loud and obnoxious and I wasnt even at his table. I will try and find some of his older blogs from April-May that were hilarious and post them here

http://pokermonkeytalk.blogspot.com/


You have got to meet this guy PPP. So are we going to Biloxi next week?
 

Rx. Senior
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You have to like this statement.

"The best I think was when this lady, who had been shoving like a claustraphobic mental patient at a rock concert"



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So...this weekend, yeah. I started on Saturday with $474.32. Right now...Sunday at 6:39pm, I have $406.63. I must have played, I would guess...150 MTTS and/or SNGs in the last two days...and for my efforts I have lost 68 dollars. That is awesome. I won't bore you with details of my wonderful assrapes, but they have been plentiful. K10 continues to torment me. The best I think was when this lady, who had been shoving like a claustraphobic mental patient at a rock concert shoves 2360 (with blinds at 100/200) in this $22 MTT, and I have KK in the BB. Hmmm...I sort of have her K10 dominated. Flop? Anyone? Come on....you can do it.....this is EASY!

J-Q-9

Um. I think that makes a straight.

Then there was this one. I am second in chips, in a $33 sng, with 45 players...and 8 left. 7 get paid. I pick up AA UTG. I like to limp here, hoping that a smaller stack picks up something 'he has to shove with' and does that. But instead what I get, is the ONE guy who has me covered going all in. And turns over 10-10. Which I hate. I hate it whenever that player has ANY pair. Have anything...AK, KJ, A10, QJ...ANYTHING...just not a pair. NOT deuces...not 6's...no PAIR! What happens? He hits a fucking 10. And I go out on the BUBBLE! Instead of having a RIDICULOUS amount of chips...with 8 left...and a shot at $300...I get....oh yeah, NOTHING!
 

Rx. Senior
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This must be part of a blog that he stole from you PPP


"First this. I wonder who the haters are out there and their reasons for trying to fuck me. Is it that they truly hate me? Or do they just hate that I win tourneys and get to enjoy that. So they go out of their way to do everything they can do to fuck me? Are they miserable human beings? Is it jealousy? Do their kids hate them? Is their wife fucking the milkman or the boy at the video store who is so 'interesting' and gives her the attention she craves? What is it? Did their dog bite them after toying with a rabid raccoon and now they are suffering neurological episodes that preceed the eventual full blown rabies? I don't know. I do, however really want to understand what energizes some of these pathetic fucks to sit down, and write an email to the manager of Harrah's New Orleans 'informing him' that a guy named Monkey was '86'd this summer at Ceaser's Palace in Las Vegas, and Monkey claims he was only 86'd at Harrah's west division. But he thinks that Monkey should REALLY be 86'd at all of the Harrah's and can he please 'look into this."
 

I'll be in the Bar..With my head on the Bar
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This part here could have been lifted out of 100 of my threads here...lol

Saturday. First hand. 22. Flop. A-2-J rainbow. Win the hand. In fact, double up. Wow! Is this going to be 'my weekend' finally online? That one I have been waiting for? For so long now?

Its one thing to go cash 4 or 5 times at a circuit event. Its one thing to win a couple huge field tourneys in Las Vegas, win lots of cash...and feel otherwise really good about yourself and your life.

Its another to wish like hell that you could translate what you think are skills to the wonderful game of online poker, and actually click that button that says 'withdrawal' one time. Instead of depositing your $500 or so, and watching yourself run around on the wheel of variance like a rat on a wheel. Laptops get tossed, mouses get thrown at walls, wifes get snapped at, thus causing marital discord, dogs get pushed off the bed when you take YET another harrowing defeat. It never changes. It never stops. They keep coming. Like the zombies in 'Night of the Living Dead' the bad players just keep coming....walking....slowly...arms lifted...blood dripping from every orifice...longing to suck out on you....calling your name.

"Monkeyyyyyyy.....Monnkkkkkeeeeeyyyy......I dont care if you have AhKh....I dont care if I got busted trying to squeeze raise with 2c6c....monnnnkkkeeeeyyyyyyy....I'm gonna look you up with your 4x re-raise of me........aaaaahhhhhhh....ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh....."

That's right. Hand #2 of the day. That was the one. Flop? A-3-10, one club. I bet out...quite a bit...because this is POKERSTARS bitch! now in real life...I would bet maybe half the pot there. Oh this is a different animal though, huh? Zombista calls. Yep. With 2-6. He has completely MISSED the flop. The turn brings...Ahem....the K of clubs. Now most GOOD players are probably checking here right? Thinking, "hmmmm, he must have an ace, eh? I suppose by checking here, I might cause him to think I was merely running a continuation bet, and me not betting here may just possible induce him to bet, and probably too much, and then I can take all his chips."

Right? Aren't all of you GOOD players thinking that? Well. You would be SPOT ON. However, again, I have to stress, we are on Pokerstars. It is Saturday. Nothing in my poker life can ever compare to the mental stress that is endured on the numerous Saturdays that I have labored on this mother(*#Q# site. And what I really love, is when that assshole will type into the chat bar....

"hey if you hate it so much, go play somewhere else."

If anyone know where this prick lives, please email me his address, I would like to walk up to his door, ring his doorbell, and when he answers I want to immediately punch him in the throat. IF he gets up, I am going to hand him a grenade. Then I am going to pull the pin and run like hell.

Dude. DO NOT THINK for ONE SECOND that I have not TRIED to play on other sites. Full Tilt. Ultimate Scam. Absolute bullshit. BoFag. Yeah I've tried them all. There is NO traffic on those sites. You wait forever for a game. And the players are just as bad. If not worse. There is ZERO difference in the play on any of the sites. Its just straight up an ONLINE thing. And I do NOT know why. I've tried to play Ultimate Bets satellites to try and save the 5k buyin for Aruba...but fuck ME, there arent ANY PLAYERS playing those. I expect UB to qualify about 10 players through the online alley.

Back to this hand. AK.....with two pair on the board. I have been watching this fool for quite some time, and have determined that he calls EVERY bet...so I figure I may as well put in another one. And larger. So I do. Well, he NOW has a club draw so of COURSE he's calling now. In fact, I am shocked that he didn't move all in! The river....this is where it gets quite funny. He rivers the 5 of clubs. I am planning to check call now. Which is what I do. Only one problem. He doesnt bet. He checks! Huh? And wins with his 26 flush. I hurl something across the room.
 

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