Suicide Prevention

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<object width="480" height="430"><param name="allowfullscreen" value="true" /><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always" /><param name="movie" value="http://media.theonion.com/flash/video/embedded_player.swf?&videoid=17129" /><param name="wmode" value="transparent" /><embed src="http://media.theonion.com/flash/video/embedded_player.swf"type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowScriptAccess="always" allowFullScreen="true" wmode="transparent" width="480" height="430"flashvars="videoid=17129"></embed></object><br /><a href="http://www.theonion.com/articles/video,17129/">Stouffers To Include Suicide Prevention Tips On Single Serve Microwavable Meals</a>
 

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Oh it's real. There's nothing fake about this stuff.

<object width="480" height="430"><param name="allowfullscreen" value="true" /><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always" /><param name="movie" value="http://media.theonion.com/flash/video/embedded_player.swf?&videoid=17041" /><param name="wmode" value="transparent" /><embed src="http://media.theonion.com/flash/video/embedded_player.swf"type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowScriptAccess="always" allowFullScreen="true" wmode="transparent" width="480" height="430"flashvars="videoid=17041"></embed></object><br /><a href="http://www.theonion.com/articles/video,17041/">Kentucky Violated NCAA Rules While Recruiting Basketball-Playing Dog</a>
 

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