Well, you could always call the gas, electric, cable, water, etc , claim to be the relative who's being a pain in the ass (will need to know tel# and poss ss# of the relative), somewhere around the middle of December and tell them that on Dec. 24th, you're moving to Florida (Costa Rica, anywhere, really) for the winter, and you need your utilities shut off.
Don't forget to mention that, Oh yeah, and by the way, my son & daughter are terrible kids, use drugs, etc and they may call you and claiming to be me to try and get the utilities turned back on. Since "your son/daughter" is always getting in trouble and you don't want them staying at your place while you're away, and the only way to do that is to have the utilities off. So, if they call and claim to be me (although you are impersonating the ass relative) to get the utility turned back on. Don't do it - matter of fact, lets setup a password that unless I give you the password don't turn anything back on.
Anyway, do you have any idea how hard it is to get your utilities turned back on Christmas Eve or Christmas Day? Just about impossible. Can make for one hell of a shitty holiday, ya know what I mean?
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Disclaimer - the above is only an example of how to be mean and should NOT be done & is NOT recommended to be done
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And then there is always the $5.00 donation that can be sent to the xxx religion that is looking to "save" people, along with a note saying you need help but don't know where to turn. You're an "early morning person" but since you work Monday - Saturday the best day to call / show up is Sunday. And again, since you're a morning person, 8:00am right on the dot is great to get in touch with me.
Once those guys see money, look out, they'll never stop coming back