suppressed memories

soonerdawg1 · Mar 17, 2011

anybody ever have something come back and just kick their ass?

i've been able to remember this thing for the past 20 years, but had somehow been able to remove the emotional significance of it.....

so i have this dream, and i see this big blank sign, and as i get closer to it i hear voices and see 2 smaller signs below the big sign, and at the time i see the words written on the 2 smaller signs i try to pull myself awake, but it was too late because everything just flooded in on me, and for the better part of the past week i have been dealing with a lot of shit and seem to be able to trace everything in my life back to that one point that i've always been able to remember, but i realize it's never bothered me because i've been able to view it as just another event, or as a blank sign that i knew was always there.....

"fear" and "crying" were the 2 words i was able to remove from that event so that i could deal with it.....considering it was something i said as a young teenager that caused someone to cry and be afraid of me and that deep down i never felt i properly accounted for it, i guess it makes sense that it would come back to me as words on a sign.....

should have left the drugs alone, but now i know what i must do.....always able to pass it off as being a dumb kid, but i was old enough to know better

Doug · Mar 17, 2011

What does your Psychiatrist think about it ?

soonerdawg1 · Mar 17, 2011

haha.....don't know, won't see her till next week.....

the fact that she didn't ask me to elaborate on something that i wondered why i brought up in the first place is part of what brought this shit on.....figured i'd lay it out here first and see what it looks like, but i have a feeling she'll get it out of me regardless.....

what gave it away that i'm talking to a shrink? do i sound smarter?

Kevy · Mar 18, 2011

I hope this is not too personal or heavy..........................

I promised myself I was not going to do this................

Hold on I got a lump in my throat........I'm choking up...........

But one trauma/painful memory that I have suppressed is from a few years ago that I can finally now talk about.........

I posted at Covers for awhile!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I felt dirty and ashamed for the longest time.

There I was...................one of the best and most beloved posters in this industry...............
interacting with and picking winners for a bunch of free account squares and degenerates!!!!!!!!!!!!

Time to go take a shower.........feel a little dirty just telling the story.......please do not judge me

barman · Mar 18, 2011

SD we all ben thru tuff memreys that make us think of crying....like my past eight months of losing records....hand in there and u bounce bak soon............lol........(ck)

ps...ask your shrnk who she like in 2nd rd of cbb turyne.......lol

soonerdawg1 · Mar 18, 2011

goddammit barman stay fuck out my threds....you resen i'm in this mess, i try to lern tell truth now and it a lot of work.....sd

kevy, that's pretty deep stuff man, a bit heavy for an open forum i think......

quantumleap · Mar 19, 2011

I had something like this happen to me recently. It wasn't a traumatic event but an embarrassing event. In the past I always just shuffled it off as nothing big but now that I think of it I got embarrassed that I did it. Nothing big but embarrassing still.

After thinking about it I just chalked it up to youth as it was something I did when I was in my 20's and wouldn't think of doing now. OK, you're probably wondering what it was. When I was 24 I went out on a date with a 17 year old (no, I never fucked her).

It kind of surprised me that I would be embarrassed about it. I think it was the look on the face of my friend's dad as he saw me out with the chick.

Dante · Mar 19, 2011

soonerdawg1 said:
haha.....don't know, won't see her till next week.....

the fact that she didn't ask me to elaborate on something that i wondered why i brought up in the first place is part of what brought this shit on.....figured i'd lay it out here first and see what it looks like, but i have a feeling she'll get it out of me regardless.....

what gave it away that i'm talking to a shrink? do i sound smarter?

well no better place to get help with your personal inner problems then the RX .com.... that is for sure

Dante · Mar 19, 2011

quantumleap said:
I had something like this happen to me recently. It wasn't a traumatic event but an embarrassing event. In the past I always just shuffled it off as nothing big but now that I think of it I got embarrassed that I did it. Nothing big but embarrassing still.

After thinking about it I just chalked it up to youth as it was something I did when I was in my 20's and wouldn't think of doing now. OK, you're probably wondering what it was. When I was 24 I went out on a date with a 17 year old (no, I never fucked her).

It kind of surprised me that I would be embarrassed about it. I think it was the look on the face of my friend's dad as he saw me out with the chick.

I have one question , were you dreaming this while you were sleeping or awake?

louisvillekid · Mar 19, 2011

i suppress old shit in my life to this day. it's called moving on imo. plus alcohol helps

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