This happened in my neck of the woods.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/09/20/jamey-rodemeyer-suicide-gay-bullying_n_972023.html
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/09/20/jamey-rodemeyer-suicide-gay-bullying_n_972023.html
This REALLY hits home
My next door neighbor's daughter was his best friend. She was supposed to babysit for us last night and had to cancel because of this. It's beyond sad.
While I'm straight as they come I fully, fully understand how bad bullying can be as I was bullied from 8th grade - 11th grade very, very badly as I was very introverted and the ultimate geek. There were multiple days when I thought about doing what he did. Kids can be so mean it's just unbelievable. I look back now and see the vast majority of the bullies pumping gas for a living, and I realize I did a whole hell of a lot better than anybody I went to school with.
I came out of my shell when I was awarded a Foreign Exchange student with a host family in Belgium for my last year of high school, but until that time I couldn't stand going to school. The bus rides were the worst times of my life.
I wasn't going to say anything about it but since you posted up Harry I figured I would put my 2 cents in. I pray for this kid's family and friends and I'm not a very religious type of person.
My next door neighbor's daughter was his best friend. She was supposed to babysit for us last night and had to cancel because of this. It's beyond sad.
While I'm straight as they come I fully, fully understand how bad bullying can be as I was bullied from 8th grade - 11th grade very, very badly as I was very introverted and the ultimate geek. There were multiple days when I thought about doing what he did. Kids can be so mean it's just unbelievable. I look back now and see the vast majority of the bullies pumping gas for a living, and I realize I did a whole hell of a lot better than anybody I went to school with.
I came out of my shell when I was awarded a Foreign Exchange student with a host family in Belgium for my last year of high school, but until that time I couldn't stand going to school. The bus rides were the worst times of my life.
I wasn't going to say anything about it but since you posted up Harry I figured I would put my 2 cents in. I pray for this kid's family and friends and I'm not a very religious type of person.
Very sad story indeed. I am not sure where I stand on this hold the bullies fully accountable on this though because I have never read a story or public outcry over a kid committing suicide over being bullied because they were fat, ugly a slut, mentally slow or a little strange. It is always the gay kid that people write articles about. If you are going to make bullying a crime against minors then it should be all bullying and not just gay bullying.
If a kid gets bullied and he takes his or her own life then it is lynch the bully but if you flip the coin and a kid gets bullied and goes Columbine on the verbal attackers then he or she is asked to be charged as an adult and the remorse for the bully victim gets tossed out of the window. I don't think the public should have it go both ways and choose who is a martyr and who is a villain. Taking ones life and taking somebody else's life should be treated as one in the same when bullying is involved.
If a kid gets bullied and he takes his or her own life then it is lynch the bully but if you flip the coin and a kid gets bullied and goes Columbine on the verbal attackers then he or she is asked to be charged as an adult and the remorse for the bully victim gets tossed out of the window. I don't think the public should have it go both ways and choose who is a martyr and who is a villain. Taking ones life and taking somebody else's life should be treated as one in the same when bullying is involved.
Thanks B10D.
Not to make this about me but I had scoliosis pretty badly so they made me wear a back brace from 8th-10th grade. The kids would literally get behind me and pick me up by the brace and carry me around school. It was awful.
As you said, what didn't kill me made me stronger. Now I'm a solid 230 lbs and nobody messes with me, besides owning my own company where I get a ton of respect from my employees I also get the knowledge that I'm providing a good living for 60+ families.
I also have scoliosis pretty bad. I wore that same brace as you. Yes kids did try to start on me. I also wrestled and was pretty good. I would wear the brace all the time and take it off before the match and kick the shit out of the kid.
In school it seemed like the B-ball players were the dicks. I was getting hassled during lunch and I blasted a kids knee and rip it up good. He never played BB again and people knew I would hit them with whatever was close if the fucked with me.
Kids nowadays need to fight back and fuck these bullies up. Send them a strong message that they will pay.
Hell I'm getting pissed off just thinking about it.
Terrible what happened to this kid.
I will teach my Nephew to be nice to everyone and not to pick on onyone. But he will also be told to standup for himself. Now days we treat our kids like a bunch of sissies. Standup and blast them right in the face the second time it happens. Don't teach your kids to be pushed around. Teach them how to take care of themselves.
If I was at that point of killing myself I would have killed them first with a note telling the shit parents why thier kid is dead.
If I was at that point of killing myself I would have killed them first with a note telling the shit parents why thier kid is dead.
I swear to God, schoolyard protocol is eerily similar to prisonyard protocol. A lot of the same rules apply. Certain groups will gang up on individuals, and your only shot at getting respect is to fight back. If the person who feels ganged up on gets mad enough, they'll go on a killing spree. I certainly don't condone the Columbine type incidents, but it doesn't take a psychology degree to understand the motivation of those who do it. Kids at that age can have their self esteem ruined pretty easily, and who knows how they'll react.
My family moved from Michigan to Ohio when I was in the 5th grade, and I took crap from the other kids in my new school for something as stupid as being from another state. I never said anything back for a long while since I've always been the type who just minds his own business...and in retrospect, I think a lot of kids recognized that and kept egging me on just to see how far they could take it. One day some kid pushed me over on the playground (can't remember what he said) and I just hauled off on him. Knocked a few of his teeth out, gave him a black eye, etc. I was suspended for a couple weeks, but my dad didn't even mind that much and even defended me when he talked to the principal. He always told me not to start fights, but if I wind up in one...finish it. And yeah, no one said a word when I got back...a few other kids even came up to me privately and said good job.
Baccy is right though...a lot of the bullies in school end up becoming total losers later on in life.
My family moved from Michigan to Ohio when I was in the 5th grade, and I took crap from the other kids in my new school for something as stupid as being from another state. I never said anything back for a long while since I've always been the type who just minds his own business...and in retrospect, I think a lot of kids recognized that and kept egging me on just to see how far they could take it. One day some kid pushed me over on the playground (can't remember what he said) and I just hauled off on him. Knocked a few of his teeth out, gave him a black eye, etc. I was suspended for a couple weeks, but my dad didn't even mind that much and even defended me when he talked to the principal. He always told me not to start fights, but if I wind up in one...finish it. And yeah, no one said a word when I got back...a few other kids even came up to me privately and said good job.
Baccy is right though...a lot of the bullies in school end up becoming total losers later on in life.
Jesus. I just watched the kid's video and he is obviously a good spirit that was trapped in a life that was torturous. So very sad and I am sorry he chose to move on past this life experience. He appeared strong minded in the video with good support networks in place and again, a good kid. Just an absolute tragedy when a spirit like his chooses to move on because of bullying. Prayers to his family and friends. R.I.P.
I was never taught nor told it was "ok to finish a fight, just don't start it" when I was younger. While my dad took me to Kung-Fu class, that lasted for about a year or so (maybe 18 months) when I was in 4th/5th grade. It was nowhere near enough however to help me in middle or high school.
The very first thing I've taught my kids upon them entering into Kindergarten and I continue to preach it to them today - is just that. "You will get picked on. It's wrong but it's part of growing up. It's ok to finish a fight. DEFEND YOURSELF. Just don't throw the first punch." I talk to my kids all the time about bullying and what to do since it caused me so much grief. I am fairly confident that they will not be on the giving end. I pray they don't end up on the receiving end.
As for my neighbor's daughter - she is just besides herself. She was outside this AM walking her dog with her mom. Up until now I've never seen her walking with her mom - just her and the dog in the AM. Good to see the mom helping her out with this.
Not sure about the funeral, etc, but I've been told she won't be babysitting for us for at least 2 weeks by her mom. Hopefully she can get back in her routine quickly but this is going to mess her up.
While it wasn't due to the same level of bullying, the Williamsville Middle School also lost a student 2 years ago to suicide. The younger brother of this child was / is in CubScouts with my eldest son. It's tough trying to explain to my 4th grader why his friend isn't going to be in school for a while (he was out almost a month) as he was trying to deal with that tragedy.
Kids are so precious - you really, really, really need to be involved with them.
The very first thing I've taught my kids upon them entering into Kindergarten and I continue to preach it to them today - is just that. "You will get picked on. It's wrong but it's part of growing up. It's ok to finish a fight. DEFEND YOURSELF. Just don't throw the first punch." I talk to my kids all the time about bullying and what to do since it caused me so much grief. I am fairly confident that they will not be on the giving end. I pray they don't end up on the receiving end.
As for my neighbor's daughter - she is just besides herself. She was outside this AM walking her dog with her mom. Up until now I've never seen her walking with her mom - just her and the dog in the AM. Good to see the mom helping her out with this.
Not sure about the funeral, etc, but I've been told she won't be babysitting for us for at least 2 weeks by her mom. Hopefully she can get back in her routine quickly but this is going to mess her up.
While it wasn't due to the same level of bullying, the Williamsville Middle School also lost a student 2 years ago to suicide. The younger brother of this child was / is in CubScouts with my eldest son. It's tough trying to explain to my 4th grader why his friend isn't going to be in school for a while (he was out almost a month) as he was trying to deal with that tragedy.
Kids are so precious - you really, really, really need to be involved with them.
Millions of kids are bullied every day but they don't commit suicide. I'm not saying this isn't a tragedy at all, it's a terrible tragedy if a kid is straight, gay or bi. But don't blame this on bullying. Otherwise we would have millions of kids committing suicide.
I remember when people blamed the Columbine killings on violent video games. They claimed the kids were encouraged to kill because they played violent video games. Yet millions of kids played those same games and didn't kill anyone.
These violent killers and suicidal teenagers almost always have the same problem: mental or emotional illness including depression.
I agree with Gyno. The parents should have been more attentive to the kid's emotional state.
I remember when people blamed the Columbine killings on violent video games. They claimed the kids were encouraged to kill because they played violent video games. Yet millions of kids played those same games and didn't kill anyone.
These violent killers and suicidal teenagers almost always have the same problem: mental or emotional illness including depression.
I agree with Gyno. The parents should have been more attentive to the kid's emotional state.
The bullying is the catalyst AND the scapegoat. These kids aren't killing themselves because they are being teased about being gay. They are doing it because they ARE gay. My issue is these kids are killing themselves because living a life of being gay became intolerable for them because of their own shame and lack of self pride. But yet the gay community targets the non-gay people who in their own right find something intolerable about someone being gay.
In my eyes there is nothing wrong with being gay just like there is nothing wrong with someone not being accepting to someone who is gay. Being gay is merely a preference similar to someones who likes little Asian girls or fat chicks or sleeps around a lot or cheats on their spouse, someone who smokes or someone who uses drugs or drinks a lot.
Just because you are gay doesn't mean it is an injustice if you are not accepted or teased a little. If you think back in time when Jewish people or blacks were messed with in this country. Could you imagine the shit the little kids had to go through at school when dealing with bullying and schoolyard harassment? Now those kids were mentally tough they weren't killing themselves because they couldn't deal with being black or Jewish. Even the Middle Eastern kids today must go through some tremendous shit at school today but they aren't going home and blowing their brains out.
Everyone has different levels of mental toughness. Unfortunately, this young man either endured so much or may have been mental weaker than most. I personally feel it is a combination of both.
I can't even imagine having to go somewhere, where everyday, you feel uncomfortable going there. That is what this young man must have felt.
I can't even imagine having to go somewhere, where everyday, you feel uncomfortable going there. That is what this young man must have felt.
I highly doubt being gay is a preference. Can you tell me when you chose to be straight ? I dont ever remember getting up and saying I want to be straight today.
I do believe there is a difference between being bullied as a person of a different race and being gay. I was bullied and teased for being a different race in school (grade school, high school even college). I know I could always go home and I would be loved and accepted by my parents or friends. A gay kid is who is being bullied doesnt have the same options because they're in the closet. It was hard enough for me to tell my parents I got a "B" in any subject. I cant imagine how hard it is to come out to your parents or friends at such a early age.
Its hard enough growing up as a kid if you dont fit in. Now add bullying, trying to come out and no one to turn too. I think a fair person could say bullying is a main contributor in young gays taking their lives .
