The Meat Vendors Tuesday 5 Finger Gash Engulfer (18-7 YTD 3-2 on Playoff Shit)

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THE MEAT VENDOR
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Sep 21, 2004
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Dudes,

A week ago I shoveled not just a loser of a post, but felt a strap-on leaving fat aficionados with little to chew on when the Yankees were done with me. It's one thing to lose a posted selection, it's just a different abyss when the bitch blowing you is nothing more than a pit bull treating your sausage loaf like a fucking chew toy. So that's the way I felt, my apologies.

Time passes, and what have we all learned? The Yankees and their payroll once again will be watching the Series from their TVs, the Phillies slingers are human and were defeated. The Tampons had a great run to finish their season and the Snakes reached the postseason without the services of a couple of Swordsmen named Johnson and Schilling.

And then there were 4. Make no mistake, I have nothing against any remaining team, and nor do I claim a favorite. While the National League enjoys an off day at that certain Asian Massage Parlor outside of St. Louis, Motown gears up for the return of their Kitties. While I've never been one to trade my dignity for a healthy batch of my man chowder conveniently painting a hungry chicks esophagus, I must give credit where it's due, and to the Tigers for downing my Yankees. Michigan is the place to be right now for great sports.

The numbers game. Colby Lewis squares off against Doug Fister. Before I get into these slingers, I wanna remove the chastity belt that supports the goods of the team numbers. The Rangers and Tigers are 2 clubs which mirror one another from top to bottom on offense. At Vendor headquarters, the Meat database has no clear cut outcome, just slight edges for both teams. Not enough to really qualify for making a post. Yet, here I am making one, not just for the fuck of it, but it's what else gets plugged. NOTE: as a PSA, numbers aren't the only thing that gets plugged at my headquarters, it's essential strictly for capping purposes, that assorted chicks need to be hungrily huffing on my Eddie Jr. like a couple of starving weasels to make the process come full circle.

A return to serenity with the gunslingers. While Lewis has had a decent season, Fister ended with a losing record. Here's the difference, Mr. Fister can clearly reflect back on his Seamen jaunt and say "I Doug my own grave." While it's evident Eric Wedge is a fucking loser, his pitching staff was not. In fact, what The Meat Vendor Database spits out like a college freshman giving her first blowjob, is the fact that since "The Fist" became a Motor City Kitty, he went 8-1 during the regular season and lowered his ERA by a half run. Another nut in his pitching orgy also has this fucker undefeated at home as a Tiger. This cocksman has also generated quality after quality start averaging 7 innings.

On August 3, in his first start for Detroit, Fister notched a win against these Rangers, only this time, he got the run support he couldn't get playing in Seattle with a pussy lineup.

During the Playoffs, when 70% has been on the side of a game, it hasn't lost either. Odd but true, I am the numbers guru that fucks for money so trust me.

Doug Fister or "The Fist" I'm certain could be mistaken as Boy Beef as he uses all 5 fingers as a Ranger butt plug to void their offense.

9* Five Finger Gash Engulfer on Doug "The Fist" Fist-Her and the Detroit Tigers tonight
 

THE MEAT VENDOR
Joined
Sep 21, 2004
Messages
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MGH,

What's up dude? MGH= Multiple Girls Humped? I would've made this my 10* Womb Stretcher selection, but alas, chose not to rank it as high with the Tigers being down 0-2. Let's face it, besides you and I and the rest of the good cappers in here, the Tigers and Vegas know they better nail this fucker tonight or else it's 3-love for the Rangers, and the shit gets ugly.

Speaking of ugly, Pippa Middleton wearing clothing, that's just fucked up. This bird needs de-feathered, and her wings spread by us to introduce and liberate her on the American kielbasi gravy train. This lass can eat the chunky crumpets and flavored tea that only we can provide her. I'm sure with little persuasion, she'd gladly accept our invitations to rejoice in the company of winners.

Best of luck, and as always my fellow glossy clam chute trappers, bag a chick tonight...because you could,

Eddie Rebel
 

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Sep 1, 2009
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Eddie, whats good dude?? I like to fist her as well lol!! I took the over in the Texas game yesterday - even bumped your old thread looking for ya bud!! Grandslam in the bottom of the ninth to hit the over. Who wuda thunk. Lol!! Missed you in foots this weekend- do u post ur sports selections randomly or are you just very selective? Bol bro. And keep fisting going!!
 

THE MEAT VENDOR
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Sep 21, 2004
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Tru Guru,

Hey Bro, what's happening dude? Yea, I got so wrapped up mid to late week doing home improvements and trying to work at the same time. I had so much shit I had started that was in limbo that needed buttoned up. Let's just say, I was trying to make a good impression on a female, so I turned into the ultimate bitch with a maids outfit on doing dusting and shit. What a fucking pussy I was, but good prevailed over evil as I was awarded the love muffin in the end.

There are certain things us as guys will compromise for some good honey pot. Needless to say, something gave over the weekend, and it was capping. I remember the stripper I dated in the 90's that was the biggest piece of shit I ever put my dick in, but I stuck with that shit cuz she was (at the time) the best I had. It's amazing how us guys will put up with bullshit from a chick if she's a good piece of ass.

Getting back to the real shit now, thanks for bumping my post back up, you fucking rock dude! A buddy of mine actually tipped me off last night as did my female co-worker. I'll also be posting a very large game of the year Sunday in the NFL from a 95% system play I have that is also a credible situational cover. I'll admit, I won't be popular until 4:15ish, but I have to enforce the numbers. I'll also be posting my Monday night game of the year next week as well.

Again, if ugly is really Kate's baby sis wearing clothes, this will look like Roseanne Barr on the toilet eating a bowl of spaghetti taking a shit.

But for now, diamonds are the Meat Vendors best friend, so I'll stick to this until Sunday.

Glad you cashed last night, get yourself that local dancer in the classy strip joint now that would rather fuck than breathe. Chicks dig strangers, chicks dig choking down meat-sickles, and chick dig the scent of a winner, it all maps back to the confidence thing again.

Good luck tonight, and one of these days, we have got to get together.
 

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Eddie,

You are the man!! haha. yes fu*cking women man and the $hit we do for some good ass.. we wont ever stop- thats the thing lol!!!! i should have known better of why you didnt post lol!!

tell you the truth- i never tail anybody on this site.. i mean i have here and there when i also like the play- but over time i see you know your shit and your not a fucking online tool lol and your the only one i will blindly follow !!! i will be waiting for the sunday smashers.. and by smashers i mean the games and the pu$$y i am going to smash after we smash the nfl winners lol...

and yes bro - one of these days we have to get together and do some damage.. your pms are off but if your ever in florida or vegas lmk.. i bounce around there and a few other places .. i hope you cash tonight brotha and always!!!

keep it up bro!! talk sn and bol
 

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