November 11, 2011
Penn State Replaces Entire Student Body with Interim Student Body
40,000 Replacement Fans to Attend Nebraska Game
STATE COLLEGE, PA (The Borowitz Report) – Responding to Wednesday night’s rioting in support of ousted football coach Joe Paterno, the board of trustees of Penn State University today took the extraordinary step of replacing the entire student body with an interim student body.
“After careful consideration, we decided we had to make a change,” said trustee Harley Manvers. “Hopefully, these interim students won’t be such jackasses.”
Mr. Manvers said that finding 40,000-plus new students in time to attend Saturday’s game against Nebraska was a “daunting task.”
“We needed to find a large number of people with absolutely nothing going on in their lives,” he said. “Fortunately, we found them on Twitter.”
Tracy Klugian, an ousted Penn State junior who rioted in support of Mr. Paterno Wednesday night, expressed sadness at the scandal enveloping his former alma mater.
“What happened years ago was a terrible tragedy,” he said. “But it didn’t have to wreck an 8-1 season.”
i posted this in a different thread...a lot of payoffs had to have occurredConsidering two puzzling facts that we know:
1) McQueary wasn't let go from Penn State
2) The victims sister is a current student at Penn State
My conspiracy goes like this...
I think McQueary and his father actually did notify the authorities around the same time they notified coach Paterno and that is when "Operation Cover Up" began. I think McQueary was quickly promoted to position coach so he would cooperate. I mean who else could he have gone to after all of the high ups at Penn State were made aware and the authorities also. The ability to press charges were obviously beyond his level of university volunteer work.
I also think the victims family were "friends of the program" and were bought off with cash and free education to stay quiet and not pursue charges. Why else would the parents allow their daughter to attend the same university that her brother was raped, molested and covered up at 9 years earlier. Now that the shit is all out in the open the victims mother is all trying to act like she cares for her son and everybody who knew should be fired. In reality the parents showed bad judgement leaving her kids care in the hands of a 50 year old stranger and allowing their kid to sleepover at Sandusky's house. I think the parents told themselves and their son that if they were the ones that blew the whistle on Penn State that their lives could be in danger and they were insured by the university that they were going to get Sandusky some help and that he wouldn't be able to touch another child.
I find it hard to believe that one man can inflict so much damage to the 20+ amount of children as Sandusky did without a lot of enablers and some mass cover up involving the local media, university, the authorities, DA office and heavy payoffs to victims families. If Michael Jackson was able to payoff his alleged victims to keep on molesting and his finances were no were near the amount of money Penn State has I can just imagine the amount of money Penn State had to fork over to keep a lid on things. When they covered up for Sandusky once they had to keep on doing it almost like blackmail.