Legal advice request: domestic abuse / internet computer fraud

I have a close friend. My ex. She got involved with an ex con who one night (about 2 mos. ago) strangled her to the ground and then when she tried to get up, he head butted her and split her lip which required stitches. She went to ER and reported it as a household slip and fall. Soon after she broke up with him. Two months after that incident, he apparently has gotten into her email and either from her account... or using "spoofing" tools... sent out those personal and intimate emails to people on her contact list to embarrass her. The recipients included her 16 yr old son and a teacher.

The email fraud apparently tipped the scale and she now wants to press charges for both : the assault and the internet email fraud. Someone she knows suggested the FBI can get involved with the email fraud... I am not so sure about that myself. Essentially some personal and intimate emails were forwarded ... either from her account after he broke into it... or via spoofing once he copied the email. I don't think one can even approach the FBI on stuff like that. Since he is an ex con... she is hoping that just a report on file with the FBI might be sufficent to scare him. And if she can get him on the assault charge... maybe he goes back to prison. She is in CA. Not sure where to start with all of this. I am thinking two mos. since the assault might be a problem in reporting it. She doesn't think he is on parole or anything like that right now.

Any legal advice?

Dunno about Cali but here she would contact the States Attorney Generals office for Internet crimes...

It never amazes me how these females hook up with these macho ex-convicts and gangbangers because decency in a man is not an attractive quality trait then cry victim when the relationship turns violent when their jailbird boyfriend reacts to their bullshit.

I have seen and heard about these relationships too many times to take pity on the women involved. One of my female friends had a friend who was just recently killed by her violent gangbanger ex-boyfriend. The story goes this chick was in a on again/off again relationship with some gangbanger and they even shared a child. Well she finally decided to end the relationship and move on with her life and started dating a new guy. The ex-boyfriend didn't handle the break up so well so he broke into her apartment one night and shot and killed both her and her current boyfriend. Then the next day the cops hunted the ex down and he committed suicide by cop. I tell these women all of the time if you date a guy who enters a commitment to join a gang for life and is willing to kill and die for his homies, what do you think he will do if his woman tries to leave him and move on with another man? You would think my friend after tragically losing her good friend to domestic violence she would take that as a lesson when choosing the men in her life. NOPE!!! She started dating a dude who currently is serving time in prison.

Yea man - I am quite amazed she fell for him myself. He is no gangbanger, but he served significant time for burglary. He is also an ex marine with PTSD, a recovering drug user and a recovering drug addict. His apparent quality that attracted her was that he is a bonafide intellectual. Speaks well, writes well, likes the symphony, is well read and politically aware. I won't defend her choice as I was quite concerned when learned who she was dating, but now that it's all over, she has to deal with it. My concern is that when she tries to press charges, it's going to stir the hornets nest. If he doesn't get arrested based on the charges - he may just go ballistic and get violent while seeking revenge. I already changed her locks, but now I am the only man she knows that can lend advice or help out. My instinct is telling me to have her call him and advise that the internet crap has been reported to the FBI ( I found out where to do that - www.ic3.gov ). If he knows the internet shit has been reported, maybe that will be enough to scare him from doing it again. I dunno man... this feels like an episode of 20/20 or dateline unfolding. I gotta give her solid advice to ensure her safety.

hosnatcher said:

It never amazes me how these females hook up with these macho ex-convicts and gangbangers because decency in a man is not an attractive quality trait then cry victim when the relationship turns violent when their jailbird boyfriend reacts to their bullshit.

I have seen and heard about these relationships too many times to take pity on the women involved. One of my female friends had a friend who was just recently killed by her violent gangbanger ex-boyfriend. The story goes this chick was in a on again/off again relationship with some gangbanger and they even shared a child. Well she finally decided to end the relationship and move on with her life and started dating a new guy. The ex-boyfriend didn't handle the break up so well so he broke into her apartment one night and shot and killed both her and her current boyfriend. Then the next day the cops hunted the ex down and he committed suicide by cop. I tell these women all of the time if you date a guy who enters a commitment to join a gang for life and is willing to kill and die for his homies, what do you think he will do if his woman tries to leave him and move on with another man? You would think my friend after tragically losing her good friend to domestic violence she would take that as a lesson when choosing the men in her life. NOPE!!! She started dating a dude who currently is serving time in prison.

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My friend's mom fell for a con while doing a prison outreach program while married. She eventually got divorced from his dad and married the con when he got out. She was found at the bottom of the stairs with her neck broken and the ex-con got a hefty insurance settlement. This is just one example.

I also had a boss who went to a Christian prison outreach program and ended up divorcing her husband and abandoning her 2 kids to marry the con once he got out. They had a kid together. The ex-con ended up getting re-arrested several times and eventually sought the refuge of the reservation so the cops couldn't get to him. He eventually got caught so he spends most of his time in prison.

Men fix things. Women fix people. This is just further proof that some women need to be protected from themselves.

There's a lot of possible factors involved here. I'll use Texas law for my examples though as I'm not familiar with California law. First of all, if they were dating, the assault could be considered domestic violence. Domestic violence just doesn't involve married people.

I don't know the statute of limitations in California, but obviously two months is not even close. She went to the hospital so she has medical documentation, so that helps. It's not uncommon for a victim of abuse to lie about what happened.

Is he still harassing her? What was he in prison for? My advice is to make the report and go from there.

She needs to make an offense report to her local police department regarding everything. She might be able to obtain some type of protective or restraining order against the guy. Also, the guy might not be on parole but he could very well be on probation.

Why didn't she say anything in the ER?

Restraining order = Stirring the hornet's nest = Dead bitch. Women should never file a restraining order against a violent boyfriend.

What was the content of the emails he sent out?

I have a close friend. My ex.

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big problem right there.

"most" women thrive on drama and are attention whores, I'd advise you to take everything she says as exaggerated storytelling in order to gain your attention.

In my past I have dated women like this. One told her father that I was beating her, addicted to drugs and I held her hostage for a weekend.

While driving to her apartment one day I passed her father on the road, I waved hello to him, he followed me and it was apparent that he was extremely angered with me. After a fashion, cool heads prevailed (he was a professor at the university and I was not a gangster) and as we spoke we both figured out that all the stories she was telling me about her ex-boyfriends beating her she was also telling her father the same stories, except it was me doing the beatings.

to make a long story short I would make sure that your ex is not telling her "ex-con" boyfriend the same story she is telling you. Also if you know his name... look it up and see if he really is an ex-con.

also another clue is that getting choked out and head butted doesn't warrant a police report, but "screw with my email and I'll call the feds?"

if you are really concerned about this guy, hire a private investigator to check him out. Don't tell your ex you are doing it. At least this way you'll know if this guy is really a threat to her or just some smuck that is being used by your ex to gain your attention.

"internet email fraud" is a bit strong of language for hacking into someones hotmail acct and sending out embarrassing emails
highly doubt the fbi gives a shit

hosnatcher said:

Restraining order = Stirring the hornet's nest = Dead bitch. Women should never file a restraining order against a violent boyfriend.

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So you're saying otherwise he wouldn't harm her? Do you have any stats backing this up or is this just an opinion?

texansfan said:

So you're saying otherwise he wouldn't harm her? Do you have any stats backing this up or is this just an opinion?

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It's called a boiling point.

My question is. Why are you getting involved with this drama?

Ok, the thread lives another day. I'm home from work and will address some of the comments / questions ..

- to 99steak : she didn't say anything in the ER b/c up to the moment of asault, they were dating and she decided she didn't want to send him back to the slammer. Maybe she thought they could work it out and maybe she was afraid of him... All those things combined probably.

- I agree w/hosnatcher - a restraining order will just rile this dude up and he can just bide his time until he thinks it's a good time to get revenge. This isn't a pushy neighbor...this is a convicted felon, ex-marine, recovering drug and alcohol addict with PTSD.

- Grog : the emails were to an old flame (not me) she decided to get back with after she dumped the ex-con who assaulted her. The con apparently had her email pw and sent out emails of a very personal nature. Her 16 yr old son was copied on the emails as well as some of his teachers at school.

- buddyboy - yes I agree - being friends with an ex is trouble. I spent 7 yrs with her and helped raise the boy. It's hard for me to see them in jeopardy and not help. That's my call right there for better or worse. If I stand by an just let randomness happen, I don't think i could live with myself if either of them got seriously hurt. As far as who he is - I am 100% sure of his record and all the facts I have presented.

- buddyboy - on your comment about how the email tipped the scales - it's a matter of her son having been copied on the emails. She's overly protective of him and feels as if this whole mess is now spilling over and will affect him.

- to sports scientist - yes, internet email fraud is an overstatement and the FBI probably won't give a shit. She related this whole mess to a friend who cited a similar experience and having contacted the FBI for help. I called the local field office to see what they might suggest. They have a web site www.ic3.gov in which people can file a complaint and then the FBI will diseminate the complaint to local agencies they feel will help. She can legitimatley say he has been reported to the FBI, but it will be some other agency that helps out, if anyone helps at all.

- to renochazz - why would I get involved ? Great Q. This is a woman I spent 7 yrs with and helped raise her son. She is a pain in the ass. I can't live with her, but I still care for her enough that I don't want to see her get hurt or attacked by some thug.

Updates : she will file the complaints on the FBI site I alluded to above. The FBI will fwd the complaint to the appropriate office or agency they feel can help. I traced the email to the thug's geographic area and I have an ISP... so there is evidence to do something if it gets that far.

Also.. she has calls into local law enforcement to first get some advice and then she will file a charge if everyone agrees it will get something done.

wow..

keep us updated.

in the meantime here is some food for thought, what if your ex is feeding you a story based on a lifetime movie of the week? If I were you I would do some research and see if there are any movies that match her drama.

The Lifetime Movie of the Week can be summarized into four basic plots one of which is:

Woman against man. A woman suffers from Domestic Abuse, Parental Incest, or has a Stalker with a Crush. Rape as Drama may be involved or merely threatened. This plot is very likely to end in a Karmic Death for the Evil Man.

there are 3 other plots, but in all cases, she must fight not only against her problems, but also against the Uncaring System that refuses to believe her or even accuses her of being the villain. Anyone on her side is unable or unwilling to help her, except for one person, typically male, who comes to believe in her or her plight and comes to her rescue at the end, but not before she's been put through a Trauma Conga Line.

all of this is from the site: http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/LifetimeMovieOfTheWeek