Family/Sports/School Situation...Please Read! Opinions Please!

Going to try and keep this as short and as much to the point as possible!

My daughter is 14 and in The 9th Grade.
She is 5'1"....86Lbs...Thin and In Shape.
Back around the first of Febuary she told me that she was seriously thinking about trying out for The High School Track Team.
I Asked Would She Be On Varsity or JV.
She Said She Wanted To Be On The Varsity Team Because The JV Team Was Nothing But 7th @ 8th Graders. I Know It's Been Awhile, but When I Was In High School....As a General Rule, All Sports Basically Went Like This: VARSITY=11th/12th Grade(Maybe 10th If You Were Really Good)
JV=9th/10th
B-TEAM=7th/8th
But Anyway, That's Not Important.
So About a Week Later, She Told Me That Track Was Starting and To Pick Her Up Around 5pm Everyday. My Intial Question Was, "When Are The Actual TRYOUTS?"
She Told Me, There Really Aren't Tryouts For Track. Basically If You Want To Be On The Team, Then You Are On The Team.
So For The Last 6 Weeks, It Been "TRACK, TRACK, TRACK!"
She's Coming Home Telling Me That She Will Be Running The 100 Meter & 200 Meter Sprints. At First She Was Running The 100M In 18-19 Seconds. The 200M In 34-35 Seconds. She Kept Saying, I've Got To Get FASTER. So Everyday, After Going To School For 8 Hours, and Having Track Practice For 2 Hours, She Would Come Home and Run More Sprints and Then Spend Time On The BowFlex and Treadmill. Last Week She Had Gotten Her Times Down In The 100M To 14 Seconds and Down To 31 Seconds In The 200M. Not Usian Bolt Speed, but Pretty Impressive NoneTheLess! But More Than Anything Else, I Was More Impressed By Her Consistant Didication To Getting Better!
Anyway, Last Friday She Came Home With....A Form To Fill Out Asking Us To Pay a $75 Athletic Fee, A List Of What Kind Of Track Shoes She Would Need To Purchase, An Order Form For Both The Students and Parents For Team TShirts and SweatShirts, and A Schedule.
So Over The Weekend We Went Out And Bought Some $110 Nike Track Shoes, My Wife Sent In The $75 Athletic Fee, and Ordered Each Of Us A Team Tee & SweatShirt....Counting The Physical, We Have About $500 Invested In Track, But No Big Deal as The Excitement Is Mounting And The 1st Track Meet Of The Season Is This THURSDAY(Tomorrow @ 430pm) At A Rival School..Away Meet(very important, point coming up)
So She Goes To Practice...Monday and Tuesday..Her Times Are Better Than Ever. And I Usually Get To See Atleast 15-20 Minutes Of Practice Each Day. And They Are Running 100M & 200M Heats...There Are 4 Girls, and She Is Almost Always 2nd, Behind A "Senior Cheetah!!" So Tuesday Afternoon She Tells Me, "Dad We Are Getting Our Meet Shorts and Tanks Tomorrow..I Can't Wait!"

Now...The Good Part..Well NOT SO GOOD PART!
I Pulled Up As Practice Was Ending Today and She, Along With Everyone Else Was Walking Off The Field. She Gets In The Car, and Says...."Dad I'm NOT Ready For Tomorrow's Track Meet!" I Said, "Well You Better Be Ready, Tomorrow Is The Big Day!" Her Reply Was, "No You Don't Understand! I'm Ready But The Coaches Told Me And Another Girl Today That We Weren't Quite Ready and Needed More Practice and Training Before We Could Compete! And What Makes It So Bad Is, Everybody Got There Shorts and Tanks, and Me & Taylor Didn't! So I Asked Why, and One Of The Coaches Said, Like We Said, Ya'll Need More Training and We Aren't Taking You Two To The Meet Tomorrow! But Maybe Y'all Will Be Ready To Compete Next Week..We'll Just Have To See!" She Then Busted Out Crying! Still In The School Parking Lot, I Slammed On Brakes, and Told Her Maybe I Need To Go Have A Little Talk With All 4 Coaches! She Said "No..It Will Just Make It Harder On Me!" So As I Drove Home, I Asked Her To Please Tell Me Exactly What Happened Again....and She Told Me That After Practice They All Came Together On The Track Like Always, and The Coaches Called Each One Up And Handed Out Their Shorts, Tanks, and Number. Then Her and Taylor Were Left and One Of The Coaches Came Over And Told Them They Weren't Ready, Needed More Practice, and Weren't Coming Along For The Meet!
I Completely Lost It For A Few Minutes and I'm Still Pretty Damn Irate As I Type Tnis 5 1/2 Hours Later!! I Simply Think It Is Just Bullshit! She Had Her Physical, She Paid Her Athletic Fee, She Has Her Spikes/Track Shoes, She's Never Missed Practice, She Had A 3.5 GPA, She's Gotten Better, She's One Of The Fastest Sprinters! But, None Of That Bothers Me.......What Kills Me Is This: "YOU ARE NOT GOING TO THE MEET!" How Can You Leave Members Of The Team Behind?? Even If She Was The Worst One, or Had An Ailment...Leave Her Behind?!?! It Just Doesn't Make Sense! This Type Of Bullshit Is What Frustrates Kids and Makes Then Want To Quit or GiveUp On Their Goals Or Dreams! I Have Searched For Answers On How To Handle It....She Has Laid On Her Bed, Depressed..No More Like Devistated!

I Have Thought About Going To The School In The Morning And Asking To See The Head Coach!
I Have Thought About Going To The School And Asking To See The Principal Or Athletic Director!
I Have Thought About Going Even Higher In Administration, by Going To The School District Office!

But My Daughter Says, "No Dad, Just Leave It Alone. I'll Practice All Wekend And Try Even Harder Next Week And Maybe They Will Take Me Along For Next Week's Meet!"
And While I Like Her Attitude....I Feel So Much Hurt/Pain/LetDown For Her and Want To Do Something About It!
Why Not Take My Daughter and The Other Kid With Them, Even If They Didn't Compete In Any Events, Atleast They Would Be With The Team and Feel Included!
But Instead...She Won't Even Know How Things Turned Out and Will Have To Wait Until Monday To Find Out, bc There Is No School On Friday.

I Feel This Is Wrong and Want To Let Someone Know About It!


Am I Seeing This Wrong?
What Would You Do?
Opinions Please!


Thanks, ShotDoc

ShotDoc, I feel your pain. Unless there is a limit to the number of players a team can bring to a meet your daughter definitely shoulda dressed at least. I dont know much about track but that could be it. The other thing, are the coaches true track coaches? Sometimes coaches coach football and something else to earn a stipend...If they are qualified coaches, I dont see anything wrong with introducing yourself to the coaches after practice and kind of ask where your daughter is and what else she can do to dress for a meet...this sends the message you are a concerned parent even without you having to get upset. Ive coached for over 23 years, 5 at the high school level and thats the best way Ive been approached. The old catching more flies with honey than vinegar applies here...if you are confrontational it will only be bad for your daughter....good luck let us know how it goes..

I wouldnt have any problem going up tomorrow and asking the "coaches" WTF and show me her stuff you paid for. Sure would imply to me when they took your money that meant she was on the team. If they were passing out uni's where was hers? Thats punk ass if u ask me and i wouldnt get bowed up but id let em know i didnt think it was cool at all...

In MD, Highschool is only 9-12 grades but like she said everyone pretty much makes the track team and for us, everyone went to the meets. Also, anyone who wanted to run could run, but only the top people were in the heats that counted towards the team points. As a former student, I see why she doesn't want you to talk to them, but you have to go into the school and find out what is really going on. In an episode of Cosby Show, Theo and Cockroach lied about the situation and called a girl fat and made a whole story up. But in this case, it seems like there is some confusion and you def need to go talk to the track coach and figure out what is really going on. I was the slowest guy on the team(even though i weighed 150 lbs.) and still got to compete. Eventually switched to tennis because track is a snoozer. But like I said, you need to find out what is really going on and why she can't go to the meet

Unfortunately this is all too common. Politics play a huge role in amateur sports, and it isn't always the hardest workers/best players who get the shots. Quite often it's those whose parents are cookout buddies/neighbors with the coach or those who have parents who bitch the most or donate the most $$$.

I got out of this racket for good about 10 years ago. The kids were great, but a few of the parents were major pains in the asses. Some of the other coaches took the games way too seriously as well. I really pissed one guy off when his 'future MLB star' 3B son was hitting 7th. Little did he know that I drew the lineup out of a batting helmet.

The odd thing is that girls sports are generally worse than boys with all this nonsense. I coached a girl sport one year. Never again. It seemed like every dad was living vicariously through their daughters, and they were all going for scholarships.

Go have a talk on the down low with the coach and get the gear that you paid for, don't be an asshole unless warranted, but make it known that you don't appreciate the drama. Perhaps there is a legit reason for this (for example sometimes I had to sit kids for grades/school disciplinary issues) but 95% it's politics.

Thats a bad deal man. Hope your daughter sticks with it. Are the other girls older or anything? If so, maybe the coaches want to take the older girls to the first meet of the year before working your daughter into the mix. I have a 2 year old daughter so i would imagine ill be going through something along these lines in some form or fashion before its all said and done. GL, your daughter sounds like a trooper so I hope it work out for the best

maybe the coach is jealous of all your lottery winnings and is taking it out on your daughter

kidman232 said:

maybe the coach is jealous of all your lottery winnings and is taking it out on your daughter

Click to expand...

Being That It Was Just 100,000 On The Cash5, and Wasn't Publicized...I Doubt The Coaches Knew.
Like I've Said Before, It Wasn't The MFin' Powerball!
That Being Said, I Have Hit The PICK3 6 Times In The Month Of March!
2 2 0......5 5 1......8 2 6.....604.....Have Been HOT! Play Em'!
Play $1 Straight Box...!

been there. talkin too coach was never any help

i would speak to taylors parents and get their feeling on the situation. if you are on the same page, you have more " ammo" if and when you decide to speak to coaches principle etc....gl!

Don't the coaches realize they are dealing with the daughter of ten-time SC Lotto winner MR NEWLYWED???

Surprised they have not asked you to personally dress the entire athletic department schoolwide

When something doesn't make sense - there is some other reason.

I would wait a few meets before speaking to the coaches. It could be something as simple as they're taking most of the upperclassmen to the first meet. I would imagine the parent of the Jr. or Sr. who's been in the program for a few years would be pretty pissed if their kid can home and told them they weren't going to the meet because the "coach must have a thing for the young new girl's", because he was taking the newbies to the meet instead of them.

Your concerns seem warranted but if your kid is busting her ass like you say the cream will always rise to the top, this experience could help her become an even better runner because she's feeling slighted. Have her stick it out, her time will come, and probably best for you to ride it out for awhile, having a confrontation with the coach probably isn't going to do her any favors IMO. Often times it's all about perspective and of course you're going to want to protect your girl like a Bear protecting her cubs.

Call one of the coaches. Communication got messed up somewhere. For a dual meet in March the only things the coaches care about is that no one gets hurt and no one swears

I think the coaches are pissed you capitalize every damn word you type.

Your daughter cut 4-5 seconds off her 100m dash time in about 6 weeks? Hmmmm......

I quit reading after that.

Coaches aren't "picking" on your daughter which is what it seems like you think.

Coaches did what they needed to do for what ever reason.

Coaching a 13-16 year old kids, can suck ass at times.For the most part the kids are great, but on every team there are always a few moms and dads who are real dandies. Been there done that for 9 years. The coaches are working for about 2 bucks an hour if that.

Last thing a coach/child/team/school/society need is for some hot headed dad to show up, and "handle" the situation.