Big Brothers & Big Sisters Program

Defying · Mar 29, 2012

Who's done this? What are your general feelings? Any advice...

My wife is being interviewed tomorrow and has pretty much talked me into it.

What's a general age group I should target? I am thinking 8-10ish? that's old enough to do things right, but young enough not to be a bad ass.... I am not looking to be a parole officer.. they say the kids involved dont have anger issues or problems or anything...

I don't care about race... I know that my area has a lot of black kids in the big brothers program.... anyone think this will be a problem ?

I want to be able to go to baseball games, throw a ball around with, just be active and have fun...

I am a little worried about not liking my kid... I have no problem not liking kids lol.. Idk.. clearly I am nervous... it's something I've looked into before, but there is never a better time than now to do it...

just lookin for feedback and anyone who has done it thoughts? and information how they match you with a kid.

DChosta · Mar 29, 2012

Don't have any experience with the program myself but kudos to you and your wife for wanting to enrich your lives by helping kids enrich their own.

Just remember to lock up the valuables.... @)

Mr_Mark · Mar 29, 2012

That really is awesome Defying. You will be making a huge difference in that young persons life

Betallsports · Mar 29, 2012

I wanted to do this a few Times. Went with a friend of mine to a Ball game, where he was a Big Brother. Kid seemed fine.

My friend still does it, says it's like a couple of times a Month.
Takes him to Games, Movies, the Zoo... stuff like that.

VIEJODINOSAUR · Mar 29, 2012

Did it back in the 70's....don't do it if you don't want to put in the time....very rewarding if you can....

Kruser6 · Mar 30, 2012

My family has been a huge part of this for years. My dad has raised over 500k for BBBS. Very awesome that you are looking into this, I promise you that the only regret you will have is that you didn't do it sooner.

GRIFFIN112 · Mar 30, 2012

My dad split when I was around 3 I think! My mom got me involved with this group and it was some of the best times in my childhood! The guy was really cool and took me to do all kinds of things! Even flew me out to Arizona when I had gotten a little older! Really good move for you man, like MR MARK said you will really make a difference in the kids life!

Good Luck!

Holmes · Mar 30, 2012

I was a Big Brother back in the 90s. My little brother was a good kid (his dad had died from cancer). We went to a lot of movies, amusement parks, and sporting events (You get a quite a few freebies through donations to the program). We had a lot of fun hanging out together. WARNING: Be prepared to play (or watch) a lot of video games.

Defying · Mar 30, 2012

for those of you that have been a Big, what age was your kid? what age would you recommend to others

Holmes · Mar 30, 2012

I think my Little Brother was about 8 or 9 years old when we first started hanging out. Was a good age.

Bruins4Life · Mar 30, 2012

I had a BB back in the day. Started when I was 9 or so. By the time I was 16, he had his own family, and less time. I'm not sure if there is a cut off date lol.

From my own experience, it was great to have a guy take me to ball games, shoot pool, go camping with him, and eventually his family.
The only negative I recall was some broken promises. If you tell your LB that you are going to take him to a game, do your best to follow through. Young kids without fathers look to BB as role models. Be a good role model.

Defying · Jul 8, 2012

alright, a little update, it was a long process but I have a little brother now. he's definitely cool. I wanted an older kid, that I could throw the ball with, and him just appreciate what we do a little more. I got a kid that is about to turn 13. Which is great, because once he reaches 13, he would be out of the program.

He's a geninuely niceperson. just exteremly poor and without a positive male role model, so im excited to do things with him he hasn't done before. He just failed his 6th grade, so I am looking forward to trying to motivate him and help him with school this year... Although in my limited time hanging out with him, I am beginning to think he may have ADHD.... I'm going to give it another month, and do more research, but this could be reason for his school struggles... Is this something I should bring up to the mom? seems like a senstive subject matter. I guess I should....

We went to the movies the other day, and he couldn't sit still even though he was really into the movie... I haven't been around kids much so I don't exactly know the norm... those that have kids, how is the attention span of a 12 year old normally??

bigbet1234 · Jul 8, 2012

Don't try to be Freud and figure out his life issues, you aren't his shrink. Be a positive role model, spend time with him.

Defying said:
alright, a little update, it was a long process but I have a little brother now. he's definitely cool. I wanted an older kid, that I could throw the ball with, and him just appreciate what we do a little more. I got a kid that is about to turn 13. Which is great, because once he reaches 13, he would be out of the program.

He's a geninuely niceperson. just exteremly poor and without a positive male role model, so im excited to do things with him he hasn't done before. He just failed his 6th grade, so I am looking forward to trying to motivate him and help him with school this year... Although in my limited time hanging out with him, I am beginning to think he may have ADHD.... I'm going to give it another month, and do more research, but this could be reason for his school struggles... Is this something I should bring up to the mom? seems like a senstive subject matter. I guess I should....

We went to the movies the other day, and he couldn't sit still even though he was really into the movie... I haven't been around kids much so I don't exactly know the norm... those that have kids, how is the attention span of a 12 year old normally??

bigbet1234 · Jul 8, 2012

ADHD is just another label the medical world puts on kids/adults to dope them up and make the big check from pharm companies. Kids are a product of there environment. Talk to the kid like he is human, not some lab rat you are going to try and figure out, and tell his mom. You may be suprised how he acts when someone shows a "genuine" interest in him.

mplastered · Jul 8, 2012

bigbet1234 said:
Don't try to be Freud and figure out his life issues, you aren't his shrink. Be a positive role model, spend time with him.

Couldn't ask for a better answer. We did foster care for a few years until the County placed a baby with us who they knew was going to die. She died in her sleep of heart failure while my wife and daughters were out. I'm sorry but do not trust County or state officials. They have jobs to do. Yea, yea, I know, they're not all the same, but they lost my respect forever. Defying, best of luck to you and your family. Good luck.

Defying · Jul 8, 2012

bigbet1234 said:
Don't try to be Freud and figure out his life issues, you aren't his shrink. Be a positive role model, spend time with him.

(<)<

message received. makes sense. things went great tonight. i look forward to it probably as much as him. couldn't ask for a kinder kid.

shdw01 · Jul 8, 2012

Defying said:
(<)<

message received. makes sense. things went great tonight. i look forward to it probably as much as him. couldn't ask for a kinder kid.

great to see when it works out for both big and little brother/sister

bigbet1234 · Jul 9, 2012

Defying, didn't mean to come across as harsh, but my nephew is the same way. His father isn't around much, works a lot. Doc says he has ADHD with no testing or bloodwork, really? So, my sister is so quick to do whatever to calm his ass down.

Well, the medicine does has side effects, I can tell it's not the same kid when he is on them, or coming down off them. They are trying him without it, and he loves not having to take it.

Now I cut up a lot with him, and maybe get things a little out of hand at times, but he's a kid, let him be a kid.

He spends the night, we go through comic books, watch pawn stars, go get fireworks, walk my dog, grill out, ballgames, etc....thing is, my sis is pretty wealthy, and this kid expects the best all the time. I try and do things where money isn't involved, and I don't get him/ or give him everything he wants.

One thing he loves to do, which is odd, but he lives kind of a sheltered life in the suburbs/country. He doesn't see much other than "nice" areas. I live in the city, where there are not so disireable areas everywhere.

There is this Dunkin Donuts down by the University of Cincinnati campus, not a great are, but he loves to go there at like 1am, HA, it cracks me up. I joke with him telling him we need gas and he needs to get out and pump it. I find it hilarious, but again, that may just be me.

Kid also knows more about sports than most on this board, he teaches me a thing or two.

Just have fun with the kid, while trying to throw in some life lessons too boot.

hvae a good one

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