On a mission to prove I'm the best (worst)

JDeuce · Aug 12, 2012

I've made some comments in a few threads here that I'm literally the world's worst handicapper of all-time, and I mean it. I am absolutely untouchable when it comes to this. It's strangely a pretty cool feeling to know that no one else on the planet is as good at being bad as I am...

It's indescribable how atrocious my picks have been for the last year. Take OMT's picks the last few days as an example...one of the best and most respected cappers here, hands down. I climb on board his two 5* plays, and the offenses combine to score zero runs in those games. I suck so badly that the fact I bet on games is what determines the outcome.

So instead of hoarding it all to myself, I'm going to share them with you. I'll keep a running thread here and absolutely guarantee you will make money by fading my picks.

My plays so far today, 1 unit each:

Yankees -175 for 1st 5 innings.

Marlins +115 for 1st 5 innings.

Yanks are currently down 4-0 and the Marlins are down 1-0...and my offenses have a combined 1 hit and two base runners through seven innings.

This may sound like a bad day to some...but trust me when I say this is an average day for me.

I'm also on the Reds -190 for 1st 5.

More to follow. I'm begging you...fade away...

JDeuce · Aug 12, 2012

Reds pulled one out of their asses...how unusual. Still plenty of losses coming.

Angels -240 (1st 5)

Braves -110 (full game).

Expecting to finish the day at 1-4. I'll start posting in the picks forum tomorrow...

Ttratter · Aug 12, 2012

help in any way you can brother if you are a fade then so be it

skyla316 · Aug 12, 2012

Im sure it wasnt your jinx that lost OMT's Pitt game yesterday, just a bad call is all. AJ Burnett was 14-3 going into that game, playing WAY above his head and Pitt is headed downhill. All signs pointed to a regression yet 95% of the bets were on Pitt. It wasnt you. Now if you really are gonna post at like a 30% win rate all the time, I guess that is as helpful as posting at a 60% win rate if people fade away, I cant imagine you are gonna be that bad though, lol. you won one already today

JDeuce · Aug 12, 2012

skyla316 said:
Im sure it wasnt your jinx that lost OMT's Pitt game yesterday, just a bad call is all. AJ Burnett was 14-3 going into that game, playing WAY above his head and Pitt is headed downhill. All signs pointed to a regression yet 95% of the bets were on Pitt. It wasnt you. Now if you really are gonna post at like a 30% win rate all the time, I guess that is as helpful as posting at a 60% win rate if people fade away, I cant imagine you are gonna be that bad though, lol. you won one already today

Appreciate the kind words, sky. But this is what I thought 5-6 months ago, and the downward trend has just has no end in sight. I'm dead serious when I say today is an average day for me. Look at the total offense...in my four 1st 5 inning plays today, the four teams combined to score four runs.

In fact, I'll happily bet anyone on here that over the next 100 plays I post, I'll lose at least 60 of them (in other words, I'm no better than a 40% capper). And as you can see, it's not as if I'm playing only wild longshots...I have a pretty good blend of chalk and dogs, and also an exceptional knack for picking losers. Any takers? PM me. Ditto for individual posters...you pick a timeframe for me to piggyback on your plays (whether you say you want me to play a day's worth of your picks, a week's worth, whatever...) and you will come out in the red for no other reason than I'm following you. I'd be willing to put money on it.

TT...yeah, in all seriousness, I am hoping to help out some others on here. Why should my local be the only one who profits from my suckiness? Brandon Lang...you've met your match! I'm ripping the title of best fade ever away from his cold clammy hands...

skyla316 · Aug 12, 2012

LOL..Go get em Deuce!!!! I think if you put your mind to it, you CAN be worst capper of all time

Rooting for ya

JDeuce · Aug 12, 2012

An update:

My way:
1-3-1, -2.85 units

The correct way (fade me):
3-1-1. +2.5 units

Expect much, much more of the same. Love tomorrow's card too. Can't wait...

JDeuce · Aug 13, 2012

COME AND GET IT!!!!!!

My picks:

phillies -165
indians +170
giants -120
rays -135

Fade away, boys. You'll guarantee yourself a 3-1 day minimum if you do.

debbiek · Aug 13, 2012

i think you go 3-1

Mosi · Aug 13, 2012

I appreciate the self-deprecating humor. I think every gambling/handicapper knows how you feel and where you have been. With that said, you are right, i have seen some people over the last 25 years who can simply not pick a game to save their life. Seriously everything they touch seems to lose, even when they think they can fade themselves or follow a hot capper as you mentioned above.

My only advice, quit. If not quit, become a book. A book may experience bad beats for a day, week, month or maybe even a year, but in the end (as long as you do not mess with the lines) you will clear profit.

Good luck. Hell, you are already 1-0 tonight (well, winning 4-0 in the 9th). Things are changing.