Ohio State's Urban Meyer on one of his players: "He doesn't know the meaning of the word fear. In fact, I just saw his grades and he doesn't know the meaning of a lot of words." ___________________________________________ Why do Tennessee fans wear orange? So they can dress that way for the game on Saturday, go hunting on Sunday, and pick up trash on Monday. ___________________________________________ What does the average Alabama player get on his SATs? Drool. ___________________________________________ How many Michigan freshmen football players does it take to change a light bulb? None. That's a sophomore course. ___________________________________________ How did the Georgia football player die from drinking milk? The cow fell on him. ___________________________________________ Two West Virginia football players were walking in the woods. One of them said, "Look, a dead bird." The other looked up in the sky and said, "Where?" ___________________________________________ A University of Cincinnati football player was almost killed yesterday in a tragic horseback-riding accident. He fell from a horse and was nearly trampled to death. Luckily, the manager of the Wal-Mart came out and unplugged the horse. ___________________________________________ ___________________________________________ What do you say to a University of Miami Hurricane football player dressed in a three-piece suit? " "Will the defendant please rise." ___________________________________________ If three Florida State football players are in the same car, who is driving? The police officer. ___________________________________________ How can you tell if an Auburn football player has a girlfriend? There's tobacco juice on both sides of the pickup truck. ___________________________________________ What do you get when you put 32 Arkansas cheerleaders in one room? A full set of teeth. ___________________________________________ University of Michigan Coach Brady Hoke is only going to dress half of his players for the game this week; the other half will have to dress themselves. ___________________________________________ How is the Indiana football team like an opossum? They play dead at home and get killed on the road. ___________________________________________ Why did the Nebraska linebacker steal a police car? He saw "911" on the side and thought it was a Porsche. ___________________________________________ How do you get a former Illinois football player off your porch? Pay him for the pizza. ___________________________________________ What are the longest three years of a University of Kentucky football player’s life? Freshman I, Freshman II, and Freshman III. |
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