Can you Really ever go Back ??

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Back to your Past ?

Had a weird thing happen recently ... bumped into a Old friend that I haven't seen in probably 24, maybe 25 years..
We get to talking about the 'Old Days" and I ask him about a Very good friend of ours back in the day.
This was a guy who I became Good friends with, hung out almost every day.... Became close with his Family
I helped him out many times, and he Helped me a few times. Guess you can say we were best Friends for like a 12 year period.

But the friendship ended one year because he had a Coke problem.

Anyway, moving along......

So I asked the guy I bumped into How's "Bob" ( not his real name )
Guys says he's Dead ! The guy was 47 years old !!

Of course i was thinking Drugs... but had heard he was doing good, got married, had 2 kids, etc.

He said that around Christmas 2009 he started feeling sick. went to the doctors and was diagnosed with brain cancer.
and died 4 months later.

I spent the rest of the night reading the articles on how and when he died.
He was a Horsemen so there were plenty of articles on him.

anyway... they have made a couple of Races named after him... they started a special fund for his Kids for a College fund.... So I was thinking of maybe i should donate something

Then I do some research.... I find that the Wife met someone after 11 months... Got Married within 2 years
Moved away from "Bob's" Family... and I got all pissed off ! ( I really have no right though )
Guess it's tough bringing up 2 kids alone.

That Special Fun had a Web Site, but it's Down now.... been 3 years since he died.
Read somewhere they were looking to get like $100K, but not sure what they got.

Do I still Donate ??

On another note.... Found a name I recognized in one of the stories... Looked at her facebook account, and saw a Ton of people I used to know..... Thinking about making contact with some.... But I feel you can Never go back.
 
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Donate if you feel the urge to basically. Beyond that, we all change and people drift.. its a natural thing in life. Most people dont mesh the same with old college buddies and what not 20-30 years later.. its just a fact of life bud. :)

-murph
 

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Donate...Not sure.

Contact old friends on facebook, yes. I have reconnected with a bunch of people and not regretted it at all.
 
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Donate if you feel the urge to basically. Beyond that, we all change and people drift.. its a natural thing in life. Most people dont mesh the same with old college buddies and what not 20-30 years later.. its just a fact of life bud. :)

-murph

Yeah guess that's true... We all Grow up at some point in time and move on.
 
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Donate...Not sure.

Contact old friends on facebook, yes. I have reconnected with a bunch of people and not regretted it at all.

Yeah just saw that.... LOL fixed now

back to the facebook part....

I had a Wide range of friends from my Horse Racing days.. Got out around 2004
of course like any time period you lose contact if you no longer do those things.

I find it funny where I see some girls that were friends, marry some of your Guy friends.
Guess if i stayed around those parts, it would have happened to me as well.

anyway, not so sure about contacting anyone... since I Know that I am a different person now. and they are probably too.

a long time ago i tried something like this, and it really didn't work out.
People change for the Better, and sometimes for the Worst.... maybe I don't want to find out which one it is.
 

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In my opinion it's impossible. If you went back in time you wouldn't even have much in common with your old self from 20 years ago.
 

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really sorry about Bob BAS. Sucks.

Definitely contact old friends again. Whats the worst that can happen? After speaking to them you don't speak again for another 15 years? And there's plenty of upside...
 
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Donate yes... Do the right thing and your soul will be at ease.

Not saying I won't... but is it the Right thing to do ??
Didn't talk to the friend for 25+ years, I didn't know the Wife, and Never met the Kids.
also the Fund web site is down....and She is remarried and Living in Ohio ( her Hometown )

How would I go about it ? Do I go to her Facebook page and say... Hey you don't know me, but I was best friends with your ex-husband ??
I think it would be weird ....No ?
 

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I think being that you were once that tight with Bob, you should donate a little. Sort of a testament to the years you were buds. When you were young you both helped each other out so, you can still do so even though he has passed.

I wouldn't hold the fact that she moved on against her. If they had a solid relationship, I am sure it was very difficult for her. And while it may seem like a short period of time to move on, at that age (based on his age I am assuming she is right around there as well) I am thinking you don't have the years to spend to get to know someone, figure if they are right for you etc, especially for a woman. If you are not the type, sleeping alone and not being able to give your love to someone and have it reciprocated seems very tough. Kids give you love but not the same kind so, not a sort of substitution.

I realize that there are those that are very happy to be single.

I wouldn't say you can go back, more like moving on. Reconnect with some people, move forward. You may with them or you may without them. I can guarantee this though, they will be glad to have heard from you and you will enjoy hearing from them.
 

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do you have any reason to suspect that the ex-wife isn't letting Bob's family see their grandchildren/nephews/etc.?
 
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I think being that you were once that tight with Bob, you should donate a little. Sort of a testament to the years you were buds. When you were young you both helped each other out so, you can still do so even though he has passed.

I wouldn't hold the fact that she moved on against her. If they had a solid relationship, I am sure it was very difficult for her. And while it may seem like a short period of time to move on, at that age (based on his age I am assuming she is right around there as well) I am thinking you don't have the years to spend to get to know someone, figure if they are right for you etc, especially for a woman. If you are not the type, sleeping alone and not being able to give your love to someone and have it reciprocated seems very tough. Kids give you love but not the same kind so, not a sort of substitution.

I realize that there are those that are very happy to be single.

I wouldn't say you can go back, more like moving on. Reconnect with some people, move forward. You may with them or you may without them. I can guarantee this though, they will be glad to have heard from you and you will enjoy hearing from them.

Thanks, some things to think about
 

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